


Don't Forget Where You Belong

by JustAnotherShadow503



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Play Undertones, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Niall, Bottom Niall, Claustrophobia, Daddy Kink, Dissociation, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Liam Payne/Harry Styles, Fluff and Humor, Gay Louis, M/M, Niall-centric, Panic, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Simon's not a bad guy in this fic, Top Louis, only a little bit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:05:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 74,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7082614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherShadow503/pseuds/JustAnotherShadow503
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's always felt like something was missing from his life. He never realized just what that was until he finally allowed himself to watch the reruns from the season he was on The X Factor.</p><p>It was then that he found out that a few of the lads he'd met had been made into a group. The four boys, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson, made for a pretty group of boys, that's for sure, and their voices blended in such a way that had Niall blinking in awe and fascination, even if it felt like something was missing. Regardless, that was the day that Niall became One Direction's biggest fan.</p><p>Now, five years since his time on The X Factor, Niall is content with life. He has a decent paying job as an assistant to Nick Grimshaw, a radio host at BBC's Radio 1, even if it's not exactly what he wants to do with his life, he has a few friends in the music industry, and he's still writing music. Also, he's been to exactly seven One Direction concerts, even if he's never met them.</p><p>Or, an AU where Niall wasn't put into One Direction and is still their Number One Fan. Featuring bad jokes, unnecessary drama, anxiety and panic attacks, and almost painfully shameless flirting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys. It's been a while since I've posted, and I just want to say, I'm really sorry about that. This fic has been finished for several months now, but things in my personal life kept coming up and pushing releasing this fic lower and lower down my list of priorities.
> 
> Anyways, huge trigger warning. Niall will be discussing some major non-con later on in the story, something that happened when he was underage. Everything that happens between Louis and Niall is when both are consenting adults. I don't go into major detail about it, not like I do with my smut scenes, but I do talk about it in enough detail that it may be triggering. I really, really don't want anyone to be triggered by this fic, so please, if non-con is a trigger for you, please skip this fic. Please.
> 
> Otherwise, I hope this fic is enjoyable. The beginning is a bit off, in my opinion, because I was just starting out, and I wasn't quite certain where I wanted to go with it, but it does begin to flow better the longer it goes on.
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this fic. I've only ever written one Niall-centric fic before, and that was anot OT5 fic, so this was a bit different. Still, I enjoy the dynamic between Louis and Niall. I usually write Larry, and their dynamic is completely different. I just can't write Louis and Harry the same way I write Louis and Niall, you know? This was refreshing, to say the least.
> 
> Now, I tried my best to make it easy to follow, timeline-wise, but it may get a bit confusing. I don't always state how long it's been since the previous scene, mostly because I feel it's unnecessary, but if there's any confusion, feel free to comment, and I'll try to clarify.
> 
> Oh, also, I'm not quite sure how human and relatable Niall is, or if his reactions are believable, but I tried my best. Niall and Louis are the main characters, so even though Ed, Nick, Harry, and Liam are there, there's going to be a significantly larger amount of interaction between Niall and Louis, so I focused more on perfecting their interactions. If it comes across as Niall not caring for anyone other than Louis, that is not my intention. I just sort of get tunnel vision sometimes.
> 
> Oh, and I tried my best to transcribe Niall's accent the best I could, resulting in lots of missing h'so. I'm sorry if I got this completely wrong and butchered his accent. I'm far from being an expert, and I've never been around someone with an Irish accent, as I live in the States, but I tried.
> 
> Oh, right. And I wrote this fic before I was aware that Niall's parents weren't together, so let's pretend they are, yeah?
> 
> (Update: The second chapter is the same story, but without Niall's accent. If you find it distracting or don't like it or something else, feel free to read that version.)
> 
> So, yeah. I think that's all I have to say for now. Hope you all enjoy.

For as long as Niall can remember, he's loved music. His mum always loves to tell anyone who will listen stories about how when he was a kid, he would enter talent shows to sing. Always said he had the voice of an angel. His mum's a bit embarrassing, but he loves her, without a doubt.

When he entered The X Factor, he was young, full of dreams and hope, only to fail. He was crushed when he was sent home. The X Factor is where some of his fondest memories are, and also where all of his most painful memories begin.

He will admit, he almost gave up on his dreams of ever making it into the music industry, but after a few weeks of wallowing in self pity, he pulled himself back together and began writing again. He got a job so that he could pay for voice lessons(merely because he wanted to improve for himself. He's sort of given up on his dream to ever be a professional singer), finished school, and, when he saved up enough money, he moved to London, even though it was hard to leave behind everything he's ever known. He knew his best shot at making it into the music industry was in London, so he went through with it, despite how much he knew he'd miss his family. He's always felt like something was missing from his life, though. He never realized just what that was until he finally allowed himself to watch the reruns from the season he was on The X Factor.

It was then that he found out that a few of the lads he'd met had been made into a group. The four boys, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson, made for a pretty group of boys, that's for sure, and their voices blended in such a way that had Niall blinking in awe and fascination, even if it felt like something was missing. Regardless, that was the day that Niall became One Direction's biggest fan.

Now, five years since his time on The X Factor, Niall is content with life. He has a decent paying job as an assistant to Nick Grimshaw, a radio host at BBC's Radio 1, even if it's not exactly what he wants to do with his life, he has a few friends in the music industry, and he's still writing music. Also, he's been to exactly seven One Direction concerts, even if he's never met them.

"Nick, not t'at I don't love you or anyt'ing, but what t'e fuck are you doing in me flat?" Niall calls cheerfully as he throws his keys into the dish he keeps in his hallway, recognizing the ridiculously expensive(and rather ugly) shoes at the door.

Nick peeks his head around the doorway of the living room with a grin.

"Finally! Took you long enough to get home. Did you miss the tube again?" Nick teases.

Niall rolls his eyes fondly. He met Nick when he moved to London, literally ran into him and spilled the man's coffee all over him. After Niall had apologized approximately eighty seven times, Nick had just rolled his eyes and told him he could make it up to him by buying him a new coffee, if he felt so bad about it. Needless to say, Niall did, and after a few dozen more apologies, Nick had asked his name. Once Niall had told him, however, his eyes had shone with interest and recognition, oddly enough.

"Did you happen to be on The X Factor in 2010?" Nick had asked.

Confused, Niall had nodded.

"Yeah, I was. Not for long, t'ough. No one's ever recognized me before," Niall had admitted sheepishly.

Nick had stared at him for a while, looking contemplative, before he clapped his hands loudly, startling Niall.

"Would you like a job?"

And that's how Niall ended up working for Nick. Though that still doesn't explain why he's in Niall's shitty flat, waiting for him to get home.

"No, I didn't miss t'e tube, you wanker," Niall replies. "I was out buying t'e new album. Took going t' a few stores t' find it still in stock, t'ough."

Niall holds up the plastic bag, holding his prize.

Nick rolls his eyes.

"I don't know why you refuse to meet them. You have plenty of opportunities, yet you never take them. You ought to have more perks to working for me than being able to call me your friend, amazing man that I am."

"I do have perks! I got t' meet Ed, didn't I?" Niall shoots back, slipping his shoes, a ratty old pair of trainers that used to be white, off carelessly as he walks past Nick to sit on his lumpy sofa.

"Niall, you're obsessed with One Direction. Professional Fangirl, and all that. Why won't you let me set you up with them?" Nick asks, running his hand through his quiff and messing it up.

Niall sighs.

"We've been t'rough t'is, mate. At least a hundred times. I can't meet t'em. I'll make a fool of meself. Especially-" Niall quickly cuts himself off. He doesn't need more of Nick's teasing right now.

"Especially...?" Nick echoes, before his lips lift into a smirk. "You mean Louis?"

Niall groans and buries his face in his hands. The faux blond regrets ever getting drunk and spilling his feelings for Louis out to the older man.

"I think you should really meet them, mate. Besides, you and Louis would be great together. You know he just came out," Nick points out, sitting next to him on the sofa.

"Nick, no. Just, stop it. Please. Don't tease me by saying t'ings t'at'll never happen," Niall whines miserably.

Nick frowns.

"Niall, I don't know why you think you don't have a chance with him. You're attractive, sweet, funny, and a literal ball of sunshine. Why the fuck wouldn't he like you?"

"Nick," Niall protests, not wanting to say why he doesn't have a chance. It should be fairly obvious, anyways.

"No, Niall. Tell me why," Nick demands, though his tone is soft.

Niall shoves the palms of his hands against his eyes, hard, and hunches over, settling for the truth he's more comfortable telling(by a rather large margin, though he's not comfortable sharing this truth, either), since he knows Nick won't let this go.

"Because I failed! I failed, and t'ey succeeded! I wasn't good enough. I didn't sing well enough. I don't deserve t' even meet t'em," Niall tells hims shakily, yelling in the beginning, but then quieting down into a whisper.

"Oh, babe," Nick whispers, wrapping his arms around Niall as the younger man trembles. "I thought we were past this. How many times do I have to tell you that you being sent home was a mistake?"

Niall just shakes his head silently in denial. It wasn't a mistake. He was young and dumb and not talented enough. Why did he ever think he even had a chance to make it in the music industry in the first place?

After a few minutes, Niall pulls away from Nick, pulling himself back together like he has so often before in the past. He needs to be strong for those around him, so no one worries. He can't break apart everytime something goes wrong.

Niall flashes Nick a half grin.

"Sorry about t'at, mate. I don't know what t'at was all about. Why are you here again?"

Nick frowns at Niall for a bit before he shakes his head, seeming to let it go for now.

"It's not important. You work on any new songs lately?"

Niall nods and pulls his notebook out from the messenger bag he carries everywhere, turning it to the most recent song. It's a sad song, like so many of his songs tend to be, about not necessarily being someone's Mr. Right, but being someone's Mr. Right Now. It's called Temporary Fix, but he's a bit stuck on some of the lyrics. He has the chorus all figured out, and figures he can just write a few variations of it throughout the song, but he can't figure out the hook, the lead in. He doesn't quite know what story he wants to tell.

As Nick reads over the lyrics, he frowns, but not like he doesn't like it. More like he's thinking them over.

"This is good so far. I really like it. Remind me again why you never try to sell your songs? They'd sell quick, and for a lot of money. You could get out of this shit flat in no time."

"T'ese songs are personal t' me, Nick. It doesn't feel right t' have someone else sing t'em, unless I work wit' Ed and he wants it. And you know I wouldn't make Ed pay for somet'ing half his, anyway," Niall explains for what must be the hundreth time.

"Right," Nick says, still looking thoughtful.

~

When Niall comes in to work about a week later and looks at the schedule to see what Nick's doing today, because despite the fact that Nick doesn't actually need an assistant, he takes his job seriously(most of the time), he nearly drops the paper mug his coffee is in, in shock. He rereads it, sure he's seeing wrong, but no, the words don't change.

Niall nearly sprints to find Nick, sure that he's setting up for The Breakfast Show, and finds him exactly where he thought. The faux blond doesn't hesitate to barge into the soundproofed room, and when Nick looks up at him, he knows the older man knew.

"Why t'e fuck didn't you tell me you were interviewing One Direction today?" Niall splutters.

Nick at least has the decency to look sheepish, though only for a moment.

"I knew you wouldn't even bother coming to work today, like every other time, if you knew. You're lucky I'm such an understanding boss, you know?"

Niall frowns.

"You know how I feel about t'em, Nick. For fuck's sake," Niall huffs, trying to hold onto his anger, but he knows he can't stay mad at Nick for long. He's a good friend, and Niall's never been any good at holding grudges.

"Niall, I'm not saying you have to meet them if you don't want to. I just don't want you to live in fear of it, okay? I know you feel like you don't deserve to meet them, - which is total bullshit, by the way - but they're nice lads. It's not like they're going to hurt you."

Niall feels the fight in him drain away, but he still tries to put up a front, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at Nick with a frown. He knows how unsettled it makes Nick when he has anything other than a smile on his face, and the wanker ought to feel bad about making Niall panic so early in the morning.

It doesn't take long for Nick to start shifting uneasily in his chair, looking slightly pained and uncomfortable. That's when Niall sighs and waves his hand.

"It's fine. Just let me know next time, you arse," Niall says teasingly.

The younger man laughs as he watches the tension in Nick's body drains away, taking a seat across from Nick and pulling out his notebook to work on his song while the older man sets up for The Breakfast Show, knowing he has at least an hour and a half until One Direction arrives. Until then, he'll try to finish this song. He's got a pretty good idea of where he wants to take it now.

~

Niall's pulled away from his song, which is more or less finished, when Ed comes by unexpectedly. Niall grins and stands, walking over to the redhead to clap him on the back.

"Hey, Ed. What are you doing here? And when'd you get back in London?" Niall asks, walking with him out of the room to give Nick some quiet time before he has to go on the air. Nick, despite his appearances, actually takes his job seriously, and needs time to sit and go over then entire show in his mind a few times - the planned bits, at least.

Ed shrugs.

"Just got back last night. Would have texted you, but it was late. I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast?" Ed asks.

Niall grins.

"Of course, mate. I live for our breakfast dates," Niall teases, just to get a blush out of the older man.

Niall met Ed about two years ago, about a year after he moved to London. They hit it off, and they've been great friends ever since. Some would say it's a bit of an odd friendship, since Ed's a bit quieter and more shy than Niall, but once Ed loosens up, he's a total laugh. He's got a wicked sense of humor, and he's not a bad singer, either(phenomenal, more like). Overall, he's one of the best friends Niall's ever had.

As expected, Ed's cheeks flush pink, even if he's used to Niall's teasing after so long.

"I'll be right back. Gonna tell Nick I'll be gone for a bit, yeah?"

When Niall gets a nod in return, he turns on his heel and walks the few steps they'd taken away from the door, popping his head into the sound room.

"Ed and I are gonna go get breakfast. T'at okay?" Niall asks, already knowing Nick won't have a problem, but he asks anyway, because his mum raised him to be polite and use his manners.

"Yeah, yeah. Just be back in an hour, okay?" Nick says, waving distractedly as he reads something on his phone.

"Love ya, Nick! You're t'e best!" Niall sings, shutting the door and turning back to Ed.

"We're all good t' go. So, where are you taking me today, my ginger friend?"

~

When Niall gets back from his breakfast with Ed, it's been a bit more than an hour, since they got stuck in a bit of traffic on the way back. Niall figures Nick won't be mad about it, so he just checks to make sure he's not on the air before he knocks, walking in without waiting for a response, as usual. He's halfway to Nick before he registers the three other people in the room.

Niall almost has a heart attack seeing Liam, Harry, and Louis sitting at the table, staring at him, and for a moment, Niall's frozen, before he turns on his heel and walks back out as quickly as he can without running. He knows he probably comes off as weird and maybe like he doesn't like them, but Niall doesn't deserve to meet them. He doesn't deserve for them to know that he exists.

Still, he can't keep himself from watching through the one-way glass as Liam says something, Nick says something back, and, after a few moments, Louis' eyes widen before he whips his head towards the door, so quickly he must have whiplash or something. Nick laughs at him before Louis gets up and rounds the table, looking like he's shouting at Nick, which. Niall knew he and Nick weren't on the best of terms, but they've always been civil to each other, at least. Whatever Nick said must have struck a nerve, something the older man is rather adept at.

Niall sucks his lower lip into his mouth as he watches the proceedings inside, feeling odd. He's always felt like he should be in the band with the rest of them, like he belongs there, and even if Niall tries to tell himself that he's delusional, it doesn't change that nagging thought at the back of his head.

With effort, Niall turns away from the room and goes to make Nick his coffee, having to throw it out and remake it when he adds too much sugar, and again when he spills the milk everywhere and knocks the cup over(Nick doesn't even like milk in his coffee). When he's finally got the coffee the way Nick likes it, Niall walks back to the sound room and knocks, seeing that they're taking another break. This time, he waits for someone to open the door, not sure if he can open it and not spill the coffee at the same time, and just prays that it's not Louis who opens the door.

It's Harry, it turns out. He looks really pretty, Niall can't help but think, his long hair pulled up into a bun at the crown of his head and his eyes so green, Niall's not certain they're real. Still, Niall holds out the coffee.

"Could you give t'is t' Nick, please? He's about due for his mid-morning coffee," Niall says politely, avoiding Harry's curious gaze.

"Sure. You know you could come in, though, right? We're not going to, like, bite you or anything," Harry says, his voice coming out in a slow, deep drawl.

Niall feels panic start to well up inside his chest, but he pushes it back.

"T'anks, but I actually have a lot of stuff t' do. I appreciate t'e offer," Niall says sincerely, flashing Harry a quick grin, though he's careful to avoid looking at him directly.

"Oh. You're Irish?" Harry asks, sounding surprised. It's kind of a hard thing to miss, but apparently, his first two sentences didn't make the connection for the younger lad.

Niall shuffles a bit awkwardly in place, still holding the coffee out, but he nods in response.

"Yeah. Sorry, but Nick will get cranky if he doesn't get his coffee soon, so will you please give him it?" Niall asks, pushing back the panic again.

Harry nods slowly and takes the coffee carefully.

"You know, you look really familiar. Have we met somewhere before?" Harry asks carefully, just as he's about to leave. He searches Niall's face, like he's trying to find something specific that will jar his memory.

Niall's breathing speeds up as he begins to panic. No, no, no! He can't tell someone he looks up to about how they met years ago, only for Niall to have failed before he even really got a chance.

"No, I t'ink- You're mistaken. I- I have t' go!" Niall squeaks out, turning on his heel and running away.

He needs to find somewhere to be alone, somewhere he can calm down. Fuck, he hasn't had a panic attack at work since his first year working here. Where did he go when he did have a panic attack?

Niall's feet take him there automatically as he starts to feel a bit dizzy from lack of air. It feels like the air is too thin, like he can't get enough of it. Fuck, he's going to pass out!

Just as Niall reaches the lounge, where interviews are sometimes conducted, he stumbles, banging his bad knee on the coffee table. Pain shoots up Niall's spine, and his knee feels like it's shattered. It's a mixture of pain, flashbacks to when he hurt his knee, and a lack of air that makes him pass out, dropping to the floor with a loud thud.

He's unconscious before he even hears the shouts of his name.

~

When Niall wakes up, he has a splitting headache. He groans and tries to sit up, but he yelps and falls back into bed when his knee protests with a jolt of sharp pain, like he's being stabbed by a really sharp knife. Or something. Niall's not really good at coming up with a comparison when he can barely think through the pain.

"Fuck, are you okay?" comes a voice to his side, sounding incredibly familiar.

Niall opens his eyes, trying to push back the pain, and when his blurry vision clears, he nearly has a heart attack.

There, looking incredibly worried, is Louis Tomlinson, half-risen from his seat beside Niall's bed with his hands hovering in front of him, like he doesn't quite know what to do with them.

Despite feeling like his heart is going to beat out of his chest, Niall speaks freely, his tongue loose with pain.

"Jesus, fuck! You scared me half t' death! T'ought an angel came t' take me t' t'e afterlife or somet'ing," Niall says teasingly, and immediately wants to smack himself. That totally sounded like a come on.

Louis seems to freeze for a moment, like he's not quite sure he heard him right, but then he laughs, long and loud.

"Well, you seem to be alright if you can flirt with anyone who stands on two legs," Nick deadpans as he walks through the door, Liam and Harry following behind and nearly sending Niall into cardiac arrest.

Actually, now that Niall's not focused on his pain or Louis fucking Tomlinson talking to him, he registers the loud beeping echoing in his room, in time with his fast heartbeat. Niall looks around and finds he's not at home, nor is he at Nick's or work. It looks an awful lot like a hospital room, to be honest.

"Nick, what happened? Where am I, and why am I here?" Niall asks, deciding that's more important than screaming at Nick for dragging One Direction to see him when they obviously have better things to do.

"You're in the hospital. You had a panic attack and banged up your knee pretty bad," Nick answers, coming to stand beside Louis by his bed.

Niall frowns.

"Your fault, mate," Niall accuses, not entirely serious.

Nick actually looks guilty, to Niall's surprise.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just didn't think you'd freak out and hurt yourself," Nick murmurs, looking ashamed of himself.

"Nick, I'm just fucking wit' you. I know it's not your fault."

The room is quiet for a few moments before Liam speaks up, nearly making Niall jump. He'd forgotten he and the other lads were there.

"What's going on? Is Niall okay? Why'd he freak out when he saw us?"

Niall turns pleading eyes to Nick, feeling and hearing his heart beat pick up. Nick sighs.

"Niall here has a bit of anxiety when it comes to meeting celebrities. I didn't tell him beforehand that you lads were coming to visit, and he freaked out. Sorry about that," Nick explains.

"Then why'd he freak out so badly when I asked him if he looked familar to me?" Harry asks gently, a knowing look in his eye that makes Niall uncomfortable.

Niall curls up as much as he can without jarring his knee and grips his hair tightly.

"It's because we've met before, years ago. All of us. On T'e X Factor," Niall whispers, not looking at anyone.

"Fuck," Louis breathes. "I knew it! We've been looking for you for years, Niall!"

Niall turns to Louis with wide eyes. The older man looks breathless and excited, for reasons Niall doesn't understand.

"What?"

"You were supposed to be in the band with us, Niall. You were supposed to be put together with us on The X Factor, but you disappeared after we were all eliminated from the boys category," Liam explains.

"I- What? No, no, you're wrong. I wasn't good enough! I wasn't- No!" Niall wails.

"Babe, listen to them. They're not lying to you," Nick tells hims gently, resting his hand on Niall's shoulder.

Niall jerks away, crying out when the movement jars his knee, but just grits his teeth and speaks through the pain.

"You knew?" Niall asks, feeling strangely betrayed, even if he's sure this is all a mistake or a cruel joke.

Nick looks proper chastised, but he still tries to explain.

"I didn't know how to tell you, and after we became such good friends and I learned just how much being sent home affected you, I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Couldn't in good conscience tell the other lads I knew you, either, since you were so adamant about not meeting them."

Niall shakes his head in denial.

"No, just- Get out, all of you. Please. I need some time. I- Please, just let me be," Niall says quietly, trying hard to keep from crying in front of everyone.

The room is quiet for a moment before Nick sighs and guides the three other men out of the room, though Niall's only alone for a few minutes before a doctor comes in and fills him in on what's wrong.

Turns out, he dislocated his knee when he hit it on the table and fell, but it should be fine after a few weeks, so long as he doesn't put much weight on it, and then wears his brace for a few weeks longer. He's given crutches and some pills for the pain and is free to go after he signs the papers. Niall calls up Ed for a ride, since he's not sure he's willing to risk a ride on the tube, and he's still upset with Nick.

Ed is surprised and worried when Niall tells him what happened and agrees easily to come pick him up. He also offers to take him to work every morning until he's all healed up, which is sweet of him, and, after Ed reassures him that it's on the way to the studio where Ed's been writing for his next album, Niall accepts gratefully. He's not as cheerful as usual, because of everything that's happened today, but Niall just wants to go home and sleep for the rest of the day.

When Ed arrives, he somehow ropes Niall into going to lunch with him. Ed takes him to Nando's, his favorite restaurant, even though Niall knows Ed's not particularly fond of it, and Niall feels warm affection for the older man. It feels nice to be spoiled a bit after a bad day.

Ed doesn't leave immediately when he drops Niall off, opting to stay with him for a bit and work on some songs. They don't often get the chance, and Niall's name is either never on the song or he keeps it for himself, but they enjoy doing this from time to time.

They've been working for about half an hour in silence, and Niall has about half a song written out, when Ed suddenly speaks up.

"You got anything good so far?"

Niall furrows his brows and looks down at what he's written, reading through the words, and finds there's a sudden pressure in his chest.

The faux blond hands over the notepad he's working on, since he seems to have left his usual notebook at work, and lets Ed read through it, feeling oddly nervous. He knows Ed will give his honest opinion, and that sort of makes it worse, because this is a song he's been putting off writing for a very long time, because he didn't want to admit the possibility. And now, it seems like there's a real chance-

"This is good, Ni. You calling it Don't Forget Where You Belong?" Ed asks thoughtfully.

Niall nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask what the inspiration behind it is?"

Niall bites his lower lip, trying to decide if he should tell him. Ed's one of his best friends. He should be able to tell him this.

"Ever since I was sent home on T'e X Factor, I've always felt like somet'ing was missing, like I belonged somewhere else. I t'ought it was t'e usual teenage angst bullshit until I found out about One Direction."

At this, Ed looks up from the lyrics, his eyes shining with interest. Niall hardly ever talks about his time on X Factor in conjunction with One Direction.

"I found out t'ey were put toget'er at t'e same time I was sent home. And, listening t' t'em, I always felt like somet'ing was missing from t'em, like t'eir voices didn't exactly mesh as well as t'ey could. It was like somet'ing was missing t' balance all t'e extremes out."

Ed nods.

"I've always thought that, too," Ed agrees.

Niall nods and continues.

"Sometimes, I t'ought maybe I was what was missing, and would t'en have t' remind myself t'at it was just wishful t'inking, but after today, I'm not quite so sure."

"What happened?" the red-haired man asks curiously.

"I met One Direction today, and t'ey told me t'e funniest t'ing," Niall says, his voice getting quieter. Even though the words would normally be said in a teasing or humorous manner, Niall can't seem to manage it this time. "T'ey told me t'at I was originally meant t' be in t'e band with t'em, but I'd disappeared after I was eliminated. T'at's crazy, right? T'ere's no way t'at's true, right?"

Ed is quiet for a moment before his eyes widen.

"Oh. Harry sometimes mentioned- But I didn't think- It was you?" Ed says, sounding confused and surprised.

Niall feels his breath leave him.

"It's true? I really was meant t' be wit' t'em?" Niall asks quietly, his voice trembling. He feels so small all of a sudden, kind of like his entire life has been a lie, like everything he's gone through means nothing in the long run. He doesn't hold it against Ed, since he seems to have only just put the pieces together, but it still hurts that two of his friends, his best friends, knew something so vital to his future and didn't tell him.

"Oh, Niall, it's okay," Ed says softly, wrapping his arms around Niall as he begins to shake with suppressed sobs. "It'll be okay. We'll get this all sorted, yeah?"

Niall just cuddles into his friend and finally lets the tears fall.

It only occurs to him later that he didn't really answer Ed's question, and if the red-haired man noticed, he was a doll and didn't mention it in favor of making sure Niall was okay.

~

When Niall comes into work the next day, Nick looks surprised to see him.

"They let you out of the hospital already?" Nick asks, standing from his seat abruptly, even though he's about to come on the air and one of the sound techs is yelling at him.

Nick just flicks him off and sets up another song to play.

"Yeah. I was let out after you left. Had Ed pick me up," Niall answers, limping over on his crutches to take a seat opposite Nick.

"Are you okay? After everything that happened yesterday, I didn't expect to see you again for at least a week," Nick says worriedly, taking the seat next to him.

"'M fine, Nick. Stop being such a mot'er hen," Niall says, rolling his eyes.

Nick frowns.

"Are you still mad at me for keeping that secret from you?"

Niall pauses, before he shrugs.

"I can't stay mad at you for long. Besides, Ed talked me t'rough it. I'm not really okay right now, but I could be, wit' time."

Nick pulls Niall into a hug, careful not to knock his knee.

"I'm really sorry, Niall. If I knew it would hurt you so much, I never would have kept it a secret for so long," Nick tells him sincerely as he pulls away.

"It's okay. I understand why you didn't," Niall replies before he laughs. "We're talking in circles, Nick, and you've got a show t' host. Get on wit' it."

Nick smiles and nods.

"Okay. You want to stick around?"

"Yeah, sure," Niall agrees easily.

~

It's about a week after his stay in the hospital that Niall walks into work and sees a man he's not seen in person for five years. Niall's confused, but thinks nothing of it, figuring he's got his own business to take care of, and limps by on his crutches, heading for the sound room to check in with Nick. He's not expecting it when he hears the man's voice call out to him by name.

"Niall Horan?"

Niall turns as best he can to meet the man's gaze.

"Yes? What can I do for t'e illustrious Simon Cowell?" Niall quips with a grin, masking his nerves.

"I'm going to need you to come with me to my office. There's a few things we need to discuss. I've already cleared it with your employer, so if you'll just follow me, that would be great."

Niall tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"Are you having me on?" Niall asks, unsure.

"I assure you, Niall, I am not. Come with me and we'll discuss the matter at hand."

After a moment of hesitation, Niall sighs and nods.

"Just let me go check in wit' Nick real quick. I'll be back in a minute, yeah?"

When Simon just nods in understanding, Niall turns back around and limps his way to the sound room, knocking and waiting for the door to open. When Nick does, he grins.

"Any idea why Simon Cowell would be coming t' see me?" Niall asks before Nick can even open his mouth.

Nick frowns, but shakes his head.

"No idea. He just said he needed to take you away to have a chat. Text me when you get done and let me know what happened, yeah?"

Niall nods.

"See ya, Nick. Let's grab a pint soon," Niall says as he limps off.

"As long as you don't moon over Louis again!" Nick calls back teasingly.

Niall has to stop to flick him off, but he's still grinning when he meets Simon back in the lobby.

~

The ride to Simon's office is spent in silence, making Niall a bit nervous. He has no idea why Simon Cowell would want to speak to him. He shouldn't even be a blip on his radar.

Needless to say, when he and Niall enter Simon's office and see Harry, Louis, and Liam waiting for them, he's even more confused and nervous.

"What's going on here?" Niall asks warily as he limps over to the only empty seat, which seems to be conveniently(or inconveniently) next to Louis.

"Niall, I'm sure the boys have already told you about how them being formed as a four-piece on The X Factor was a mistake," Simon begins. "You were chosen to be in the group as well, but you disappeared before you could be told. By the time we located you, One Direction was already a hit, and adding you into the group at that time would have caused turmoil. With Zayn's recent departure, I believe now would be a great time for you to join, as you were meant to from the start. That is, if you still want to."

Niall sits there, sure he must look comical with his mouth agape in shock. Surely he heard wrong?

"I- What? You want me t' join One Direction?" Niall asks faintly.

"Yes. If you want to."

Niall just stares at Simon in shock.

"But- But why? I'm not a good enough singer for t'at," Niall protests.

"Then sing for us. We'll each get a vote. It'll be like X Factor again. Choose any song you want," Simon says, leaning forward in his seat to thread his fingers together with his elbows on the desk.

"Sing?" Niall echoes dumbly.

"Yes, Niall. Sing," Simon replies, sounding faintly amused.

Niall searches his mind frantically for something to sing, and when he finds the perfect song, he looks up.

"Could I sing a song I wrote meself?" Niall asks hesitantly.

Simon just nods.

"And would you happen t' have a guitar laying around somewhere?" Niall asks.

Simon nods again, calling someone on his desk phone for a guitar.

"You play guitar?" Louis asks from beside him.

Niall nods, doing his best not to look directly at Louis, for fear of having another panic attack.

"Learned when I was a kid," he answers distractedly, turning to the door when it opens and a woman carries in a beautiful guitar with a light brown finish that probably costs more than his entire flat.

As Niall sets to tuning it, not that it needed much work to begin with, he feels the intense gazes of every man in the room. It's a bit stifling, to be honest, but Niall tries to ignore it. He can pretend he's just in his flat alone.

As Niall begins to play the opening chords, he goes over the words in his head once more before he closes his eyes and sings.

"Been a lot of places,  
I've been all around the world.  
Seen a lot of faces,  
Never knowing where I was."

Niall hears a sharp intake of air from somewhere, but he pays it no mind as he continues.

"On the horizon,  
Oh, but I know, I know, I know, I know the sun'll be rising,  
Back home.

"Living out of cases,  
Packing up and taking off.  
Made a lot of changes,  
But never forgetting who I was.

"On the horizon,  
Oh, well I know, I know, I know, I know the moon'll be rising,  
Back home."

Niall takes a deep breath before he begins the chorus, feeling his nerves slip away the longer he plays and sings.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song."

Niall feels his eyes start to sting. This is a really difficult song for him to sing because he wrote this thinking about what it would have been like to be in One Direction from the start, and now he has a chance. He doesn't have high hopes, but the hope is still there, sitting in his chest. He doesn't know if he'll survive being rejected again. Things fell apart for him last time.

"Been away for ages,  
But I got everything I need.  
Flicking through the pages,  
I've written in my memory.

"I feel like I'm dreaming.  
Oh, so I know, I know, I know, I know that I'm never leaving.  
No, I won't go.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Lights off when they should be on.  
Even stars in the skies, they're wrong.  
Short days when the nights are long,  
When I think of the things I've done.  
Don't matter how far I've gone,  
I always feel at home.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own.  
Never, never, never.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Home.  
Don't forget it.  
Home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Never forget it,  
This song.  
Don't forget it.  
No, I never forget it,  
This song.  
You were never..."

As Niall finishes up the song, he tilts his head back, feeling a few tears slip down his cheeks. He knows he probably looks ridiculous, crying over a song that probably doesn't even sound sad, lyrically, but it means so much to him. It hurts. It feels like his heart is throbbing in his chest.

He's just always wanted to be a part of something like One Direction, imagined all of the adventures he would have had, if he'd gone on to be with them. Niall's sure he'd be a different person then. He'd probably be happier at the end of the day, and he wouldn't have had to deal with a lot of the shit he's had to in his life.

"Oh, wow. That was beautiful, Niall. Did you really write that?" Niall hear Harry say.

Niall opens his eyes, blinking through the tears, and manages a small smile for the long-haired man.

"Yeah. Finished it a few days ago. It was a song t'at wanted t' be written for a really long time, but I couldn't let meself do it," Niall says as he lets his gaze drift from Harry.

"Couldn't let yourself? It really was beautiful, mate. Why couldn't you write it?" Liam asks.

Niall bites his lower lip.

"It hurt too much," Niall replies, hoping that'll be enough.

"Hurt too much?" Louis asks, sounding confused, but his voice is soft, like he's not quite sure if he should be asking. "Why would that song hurt?"

Niall clenches his eyes shut as he decides he might as well tell them.

"I wrote it for you guys," Niall begins, hearing a sharp intake of breath from someone. "I always felt like somet'ing was missing from me life, and I didn't know what t'at was until I found you all. I t'ought maybe t'at's where I belonged, wit' you lads, but I figured it was just fanboy nonsense on my part. I imagined all t'e places I'd get t' visit, all t'e t'ings I'd get t' see and experience, and it just hurt too much t' write t'is song before, knowing all of t'at wasn't gonna happen."

Niall shrugs, opening his eyes.

"I guess I'll be going now. Nick'll be needing his coffee soon," Niall says quietly as he gently leans the guitar against Simon's desk and begins to pull himself up.

"Wait, babe, we didn't vote yet. You can't leave until we do," Louis says firmly, grabbing onto Niall's arm to stop him from standing.

Niall feels his cheeks flush from the endearment as he settles back into his seat. Regardless, he still shakes his head.

"Why would you lot want me anyways? 'M not good enough for One Direction," Niall mumbles.

"Think we're the ones who decide if you're good enough, Niall. And I vote for yes," Harry drawls.

Niall looks up wide eyed at that.

"I'm all for it. Yes," Liam chimes in.

"Yes, definitely," Louis says, smiling so his eyes go all crinkly. Niall can't breathe.

"It'll be a yes from me, as well. Welcome to One Direction, Niall," Simon says warmly.

And Niall promptly faints.

~

When he comes to, Niall looks around blearily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his fist. God, his head hurts. What the fuck did he do?

"Oh, you're awake."

Niall looks up and sees Louis standing in the doorway.

"Um?"

Louis laughs.

"Confused?" he asks teasingly.

Niall nods dumbly.

"You fainted. I was able to catch you before you fell and hurt yourself more, though. Is this going to be a habit of yours?" Louis muses.

Niall blinks before he throws his head back and laughs. He always knew Louis was funny, but he didn't think he'd ever get the chance to experience it in person. Niall's entirely besotted.

When Niall finally calms down, he sees Louis' just staring at him, so he raises an eyebrow.

"So, what are you doing here?" Niall asks, stretching his back a bit.

"I do live here, you know," Louis tells him distractedly.

That's when Niall realizes for the first time that he's not in his shitty flat. The first tip off should have been how comfortable the bed is. It's easily the best bed Niall's ever been on, just the right amount of firm and soft.

"Oh. I'm sorry?" Niall says, though his voice lilts up uncertainly at the end, turning his apology into a question.

"Don't worry about it, babe. Didn't know where else to take you. I didn't know where you live, and I knew Nick would still be working for a few hours. You hungry?"

Niall feels his cheeks flush at the endearment, the same one from before, but he pushes it back.

"I'm always hungry. I've a bottomless pit for a stomach," Niall tells him honestly.

Louis laughs, and Niall feels his breath leave him again. He's just so attractive.

"Great. The lads and I wanted to have lunch to get to know you better. You mind?" Louis asks.

Niall shakes his head.

"I don't mind. I'll need t' go home first, t'ough. I need a shower. T'is bed is really hot. Sweated t'rough me clothes a bit," Niall says, and wants to smack himself. That's way to much information.

"Yeah, I usually don't sleep with the duvet meself. I can take you home, if you want."

Niall nods, and goes to get out of the bed, when what Louis said registers.

"Is t'is your bed?" Niall asks.

"Well, yeah. Don't have the guest room set up, and I didn't want you to sleep on me sofa. It's nice to look at, and sit on, but it's not meant for sleeping on," Louis explains.

"Oh," Niall breathes before shaking his head. "T'ink I'll take you up on t'at ride. If you wouldn't mind."

"Wouldn't have offered if I minded, love," Louis teases, and Niall's sure he's about to explode. In what world does Louis Tomlinson call him pet names?

Niall forces himself to the edge of the bed and looks around for his crutches, but they seem to be nowhere in sight.

"Louis?"

Niall watches as Louis' eyes widen a bit when he says his name for the first time.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen me crutches anywhere?"

The room is silent for a few seconds.

"Fuck. Think I left them back at Simon's office."

Niall sighs but shakes his head.

"It's fine. I've got another set back at me flat. May have t' use you until t'en, t'ough," Niall grins, waggling his eyebrows.

Louis flushes a bit, looking stupidly attractive, before he grins back.

"You can use me anytime, Blondie," Louis says with a wink.

Niall laughs, making grabby hands at Louis for him to come help him stand. Once he's up from the bed, Louis helps him out of the house, just grabbing his shoes on the way out to put on in the car. After Niall's safely in the passenger seat of Louis' American model car, some sleek, black convertible type (Niall doesn't know shit about cars), Louis goes around to the driver's side and pulls out of the driveway without putting his seatbelt on.

"Not a believer in seatbelts, or are you just absentminded?" Niall teases, patting his seatbelt in a mocking fashion.

Louis glances at him quickly from the corner of his eye.

"Don't get smart with me, Horan. I'll make you take the tube home," Louis threatens, but Niall knows he's not serious.

"Hmm, I dunno. I could just find some tall, dark stranger t' help me home," Niall says, purposely making his tone considering, his words suggestive, even if he'd never even think about doing that. He's thoroughly amused with their conversation, however, and he's interested in seeing how Louis reacts.

Louis swerves a bit before he gets the car back under control. When he gets to a red light, he turns to Niall with wide eyes.

"Are you-?" Louis cuts himself off before he can finish the question, but Niall understands anyways.

"Gay? No, not really. Bi, maybe. I tend t' lean more towards lads t'an birds, t'ough," Niall answers the unasked question easily enough.

Louis stares at him for a few moments before a loud honk from behind them makes them jump. Louis flicks off the driver behind him as he starts driving again.

"Yeah? When'd you figure it out?" Louis asks curiously.

Niall feels his cheeks get a bit hot.

"May have been when I tried out for X Factor and saw all t'ese attractive blokes around," Niall tells him, which is close enough to the truth. He can't tell Louis that seeing him, in particular, made Niall reconsider his entire outlook on life, regardless of the fact that Niall had conveniently forgotten his entire existence until he discovered One Direction.

"Yeah? Was there anyone who caught your eye back then?" Louis asks with a glint in his eye.

"Might have been," Niall hums.

Their banter lasts for the rest of the car ride, and when they pull up to Niall's building, he realizes he never gave Louis any directions.

"I t'ought you said you didn't know where I live?" Niall asks suspiciously.

Louis looks a bit nervous.

"May have texted Nick and asked him for your address while I was waiting for you to wake up. May also have looked it up and memorized the directions."

Niall stares at Louis for a few seconds, during which Louis seems to get more and more uncomfortable, probably realizing just how creepy that is, which. Yeah, actually, that is a bit creepy, but Niall mostly thinks it's sweet that he's making such an effort to include him in the band already.

Finally, Niall decides to set the older man at ease.

"Am I gonna have t' worry about you coming t' kidnap me in t'e middle of t'e night?" Niall asks jokingly.

Louis shakes his head as he chuckles.

"Maybe. Sleep with one eye open, Horan!" Louis quips as he turns the car off and slips out of the seat gracefully, going around to open Niall's door and helping him out.

They make their way up the stairs slowly, and when they reach Niall's door, he reaches into his pocket for his key, quickly unlocking it. Once the door is open, Niall flicks on the light and reaches for the extra set of crutches by the door. Louis lets go of him after a moment, seemingly reluctantly, and Niall closes the door after them.

"Just make yourself at home. I'll be back in around twenty minutes. Might want t' sit in t'e chair. Sofa's a bit lumpy and uncomfortable," Niall tells him as he makes his way to the bathroom.

"Take your time. I'm sure I'll find something to occupy meself," Louis calls after him.

Niall rushes through his shower, though he makes sure he's thorough. After he's finished, he blow dries his hair and styles it before he brushes his teeth(because fainting has a nasty habit of making your mouth taste like something died in it) and puts deodorant on. When he's done with that, Niall opens the door and is startled to see Louis in the hallway, looking at the photos on the wall.

"This your family?" Louis asks, looking up before he freezes.

It's then that Niall remembers he's only clad in a towel.

"Um, yeah. I'm just gonna go get dressed real quick," Niall mumbles, limping past Louis without looking at him.

It takes a few minutes to decide on an outfit, but eventualy Niall settles on some tight black jeans, a blue and white Hawaiian themed button-down that reminds Niall of Harry, and some white Adidas. He figures it's nice enough without looking like he's trying too hard.

Niall makes his way out to the living room and finds Louis messing around on his phone. When Niall enters, Louis looks up.

"You look good, babe. You ready to go? Liam and Harry are meeting us at the restaurant."

Niall feels his face warm at the endearment, just like every time Louis' used one, and nods.

"Where are we going?" Niall asks as he follows Louis out, picking up his wallet and his key on his way by.

It's when Niall is locking the door that Louis answers.

"We're going to Marcus Wareing," Louis answers nonchalantly, like he's talking about grabbing a bite to eat at McDonald's and not one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in London.

Niall chokes on his own spit and drops his key.

"What? Louis, I can't go t'ere! For one, I don't t'ink I can afford it, and two, I'm pretty sure I don't even own a suit!" Niall exclaims.

Louis blinks at him as he bends down to pick up Niall's key.

"I never said you were paying for anything, Niall. Besides, you don't need a suit. What you're wearing looks fine to me," Louis tells him, giving Niall an obvious once-over.

Niall bites back the noise that wants to escape him at that and continues his arguement.

"Louis, no. T'at's, like, super fancy. I'm pretty sure a meal would cost more t'an my entire outfit. Can't we just go t' Nando's or somet'ing?" Niall pleads.

Louis purses his lips but then sighs.

"Fine. But only because you're so pretty when you beg," Louis quips, pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

Niall feels his face flush for what must be the hundreth time since meeting Louis. Also, his jeans are a bit tighter in the crotch area than before, because fuck, that's- that's sexual, what Louis just said. Is Louis flirting with him?

"Okay, we have Nando's booked for lunch. Happy, Blondie?" Louis teases.

"'M not actually blond, you know," Niall mumbles.

"You're not?" Louis asks, his eyes shining with interest.

"I have brown hair naturally. Started bleaching it years ago," Niall confirms.

"Fuck, I bet you look amazing with brown hair, babe. Is it dark?" Louis asks.

"Almost black," Niall answers, sure Louis is flirting with him now.

"I'd love to see that some day, love," Louis tells him as he guides Niall down the stairs, keeping a firm grasp on his arm to make sure he doesn't fall.

"Probably will at some point. 'M getting a bit tired of t'e blond," Niall confides.

The drive to the restaurant is filled with chatter between the two of them, with a few flirty comments thrown in there from both of them. Niall's sure that if someone saw them, they'd think they were dating(well, if they didn't recognize Louis. Or maybe they would anyways, since Louis' recently come out). Regardless, the ride is fun and comfortable for Niall.

When Louis pulls in to Nando's, he parks the car and quickly rushes over to Niall's side to help him out, letting the faux blond lean on him as Louis grabs the crutches out of the back seat.

They enter the restaurant together, Louis holding the door open for him, and Niall sees that the entire place is empty, except for Liam and Harry. Niall turns to Louis, finally piecing together what happened.

"So t'is is what you meant when you said you booked it for lunch," Niall says flatly.

"Well, yeah. We're famous, babe. We can't just go anywhere, unfortunately," Louis replies as he guides Niall to the table Liam and Harry are at with a hand resting warmly on the small of his back.

"I can understand t'at, but t'is seems a bit much, don't you t'ink?" Niall grumbles.

"You'll learn eventually, young Niall," Louis laughs.

"Hey, Lou. Hey, Niall. You feeling better? Gave us all quite a scare when you fainted earlier," Liam greets as Niall slides into the booth after Louis out of habit. His claustrophobia still hasn't eased up after all these years, and he'd really rather not mess up this band bonding experience by having a panic attack.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Dunno why I fainted like t'at. Overwhelmed, probably. Sorry t' worry you all."

"Don't worry about it, Niall. You scared Louis the most, though. Proper freaked out when you collapsed into his arms," Harry tells him conspiratorially, leaning forward.

"H, why'd you have to tell him that? I'm trying to make him think I'm cool! Don't ruin me chances," Louis whines.

Niall giggles, and then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth. That did not just happen.

"Aw, babe! That was so cute," Louis coos, ruffling his hair.

"Hey! Hands off t'e hair! I spent a good seven minutes on this, t'ank you," Niall pouts, slapping Louis' hand away playfully.

"You two are so cute together," Harry says with a smile.

Niall's face is going to get a sunburn with how much it's turned red today. He's sure of it.

The waiter comes over and takes their drink orders then, and everyone finally looks at the menu. Niall already knows what he wants, but he still looks over the menu to see if anything's change since last week. It hasn't.

"Didn't think there could ever be so much chicken on one menu," Liam murmurs.

"You've never been t' Nando's?" Niall asks, aghast.

Liam shakes his head.

"Don't think I've ever been, either. Have you been, Lou?" Harry asks.

"Never," Louis answers.

"New band tradition: we come t' Nando's at least once a mont' toget'er. How are you lads even British?"

"To be fair, you're Irish. Who are you to tell us that we're not British?" Harry drawls.

"Who are you t' have never been t' Nando's?" Niall shoots back.

"Passionate about chicken, love?" Louis asks, looking thoroughly amused.

"I'm passionate about food in general, Lewis. Get your facts straight," Niall quips. After a pause, he continues. "Or, maybe don't. Kind of contradictory, innit?"

Louis bursts into laughter.

"I'm gonna keep you, Niall Horan."

~

When Niall goes home to see his family, the rest of the lads somehow end up coming with him. He's not quite sure how that happened, how they convinced him it was a good idea, but the flight is fun.

They were all very adamant about meeting his family when he told them he was going home for a bit to break the news in person that he was now in an international boy band, and Niall couldn't for the life of him deny them that, even if it was probably a bad idea.

When the car pulls up to his parents' house, they all file out and follow Niall to the door, even if it's a bit slow with him still on his crutches for another week or so. They don't complain about it, though.

Niall knocks on the door, suddenly nervous. He somehow forgot to tell his mum that he'd hurt himself in all the confusion, didn't want to worry her, and now he's about to drop a huge bomb on her. He just hopes she doesn't embarrass him too much.

The door opens and Maura is about to greet Niall when her eyes suddenly widen.

"Niall? Why are you on crutches? And why is t'at boy band you like so much standing behind you?" his mum asks, sounding faint.

Niall laughs nervously.

"Could we come in first, Mum? We have some t'ings t' tell you, and it might be a bit hard t' swallow. Is Dad here?" Niall asks.

Maura quickly moves out of the doorway to let them in, and follows them into the living room.

"Your fat'er is still at work, at t'e moment, but he should be home soon," Maura answers a bit distractedly. "Would any of you like somet'ing t' drink?"

Liam and Harry both shake their heads.

"Tea would be lovely, Mrs. Horan," Louis says, smiling sweetly.

"Right away, dear. Yorkshire, two sugars, no milk, yeah?" Maura asks.

Louis looks surprised.

"Yeah, actually. How did you know?" Louis asks in return.

"Niall here is a bit obsessed," Maura says fondly, though there's a teasing tone to her voice.

Louis looks at Niall with a wicked grin.

"Aw, you know me favorite tea, babe? That's so cute!" Louis coos.

Niall feels his face heat up and buries his face in his hands.

"Mum!" Niall whines, mortified.

Maura just laughs and walks away to the kitchen.

"So, you weren't lying when you said you were a fanboy?" Louis says teasingly.

Niall lets out a noise that sounds embarrassingly like a whimper.

"'M not proud of it, okay? I was proper obsessed," Niall says, the words coming out muffled through his hands.

"Love, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you were so drawn to us because you knew we were supposed to be together," Louis says softly.

"Maybe, but I'm so embarrassed," Niall whines. "I didn't want you t' know about my One Direction obsession."

Harry snorts, probably at the unintentional rhyme, but everyone ignores him.

"What all do you know about us?" Liam asks, sounding curious.

Niall peeks up through his fingers to see they're all looking at him with genuine curiosity. He removes his hands and thinks.

"If I had t' list out everyt'ing, we'd be here for days, so what specifically do you want t' know?"

"How many siblings do I have?" Louis asks.

"You have six sisters and one brot'er, and from oldest to youngest t'ere's Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Ernest, and Doris on your mot'er's side, and Georgia from your fat'er's side," Niall answers promptly.

Louis stares at him for a moment before he nods.

"Yeah, that's right. What about Harry and Liam?"

"Harry has an older sister named Gemma, and Liam has two older sisters named Nicola and Ruth."

"Right. Do you know our birthdays?" Liam asks.

"Louis was born December 24th, 1991, Liam was born August 29th, 1993, and Harry was born February 2nd, 1994."

"What's your birthday?" Harry asks.

"September 13th, 1993," Niall replies.

"Really? You look younger than Harry. That makes you 22 now?" Louis says, seeming surprised.

Niall nods.

"Yeah, I get t'at a lot. Makes it hard t' pull at pubs when everyone has t' ask if you're even legal," Niall says jokingly.

Louis frowns at that, but doesn't comment, surprisingly.

"What's your favorite song of ours?" Louis asks instead.

Niall frowns.

"Don't ask me t'at! It's like trying t' choose your favorite food!"

"Think you're the only one who has that problem, mate," Liam tells him with a teasing smile. "What's your least favorite song, then?"

"Stockholm Syndrome," Niall answers immediately, not even pausing to think about it, because he hates that song.

Harry pouts.

"What? Why? I loved writing that song!" Harry asks.

Niall shifts on the sofa before he shrugs.

"Sorry, mate. Dunno why I don't like it."

"What your favorite song on our most recent album?" Louis asks, probably sensing that Niall is uncomfortable.

Niall frowns, thinking.

"T'ey're all really good. Don't know if I can pick just one," Niall admits. "I quite like A.M., t'ough. 'S sad."

"Sad?" Harry asks, dropping his pout.

"Yeah. Just kind of gave me t'at vibe. It's reminiscent, yeah? Reminiscing is always kind of sad, innit?" Niall says quietly. "I t'ink t'e t'ing t'at really made it sound sad for me was Louis' vocals. Don't know if t'at was intentional or not."

Louis perks up at that.

"Yeah?"

Niall nods, feeling his cheeks heat up again. He's always loved how expressive Louis' voice is. Made him cry sometimes, just listening to his singing.

"Made me cry a bunch over t'e years," Niall replies.

"Well, you're gonna have to make up all those tears, Tommo," Liam teases.

"What about on Four?" Louis asks, flipping Liam off.

Niall feels his ears turn red from how much he blushes. His first instinct is to say No Control, because Niall will admit, if only to himself, that he's had a good few wanks to that song, listening to Louis sing about early morning blow jobs, but he quickly defers to another of his favorites.

"Fool's Gold, probably. It's just kind of one of t'ose songs t'at you can relate to easily."

Louis looks at him closely, seeming like he's trying to figure something out, but Liam asks him another question.

"And on Midnight Memories?"

Niall hums as he thinks for a moment.

"Somet'ing Great is a good one. Makes me cry every time I listen t' it," Niall admits with a nervous laugh.

Niall sees Louis frown and open his mouth to say something, but Maura comes back with his tea then.

"Thank you, Mrs. Horan. You're a doll," Louis says, flashing her a smile.

"Oh, please. Call me Maura. I feel like I know you boys already from how much Niall talks about you," Maura tells hims, laughing lightly.

"Mum!" Niall groans.

Maura just laughs and waves him off as she sits down in the chair, since Niall and the other lads are taking up the entire sofa.

"Now, while we wait for your fat'er t' get home, why don't you play for us, Niall? It's been so long since I've heard you sing."

"Mum, I'm sure t'ey don't want t' hear me sing," Niall protests.

"Nonsense. You're a lovely singer," Maura tells him.

"Smart woman, your mum is," Louis says teasingly. "I, for one, would love to hear you since again, babe."

"Yeah. We've only heard you sing once before. Sing us something else," Liam insists.

Niall sighs and pulls himself up from the sofa.

"I'll be right back wit' me guitar, t'en," Niall mumbles, limping to his old room, which his mum never converted when he moved out, probably in the hopes that he'd come back. Niall tries not to feel guilty about that.

He has another guitar back in London, but he still has another here because him mum loves to hear him play when he visits.

Niall grabs his guitar case and awkwardly makes his way back to the living room, having a bit of trouble holding the case and the crutch at the same time. When Niall makes it to the living room, he nearly drops the guitar and falls, so Louis quickly gets up and takes the case, steadying Niall.

"Should have just asked for help, love," Louis scolds him.

Niall shrugs and lets Louis help him over to the sofa, taking the case and opening it when Louis hands it to him. He quickly sets to tuning the guitar, and once it's done, he looks to his mum.

"What do you want t' hear?" Niall asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe t'at one you always like t' play? T'e sad one about unrequited love?"

Niall nods, feeling a bit nervous. He hopes he doesn't disappoint Louis, Liam, and Harry with this.

As Niall plays the opening chords to the song, he sees them all perk up in interest and recognition. It's a more mellowed out version, more of a campfire version with only his guitar to make music, but it's recognizable and Niall enjoys it. He just hopes the others like it, as well. Or, well, at least don't hate it.

"I'm broken.  
Do you hear me?  
I'm blinded,  
'Cause you are everything I see.

"I'm dancing,  
Alone.  
I'm praying,  
That your heart will just turn around.

"And as I walk up to you door,  
My head turns to face the floor,  
'Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say:

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside.  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this."

Niall takes a deep breath before he begins the next part, to settle his nerves. This is probably the most emotional part for him, the one he relates most to.

"If I'm louder,  
Would you see me?  
Would you lay down,  
In my arms and rescue me?

"'Cause we are,  
The same.  
You save me,  
But when you leave, it's gone again."

Niall's a bit more nervous to sing the next bit, because it's Louis' part, and it feels wrong to try to sing it. Regardless, Niall pushes through.

"And then I see you on the street,  
In his arms. I get weak,  
My body fails, I'm on my knees,  
Praying.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this.

"Yeah, I've never had the words to say,  
But now I'm asking you to stay,  
For a little while inside my arms.

"And as you close your eyes tonight,  
I pray that you will see the light,  
That's shining from the stars above.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this."

The room is quiet for a few seconds after Niall finishes, and it's making his anxiety rise. Did they not like it? Did they hate it? Did he make a fool of himself?

"Oh, fuck, that was amazing, love. Sang it like you owned it," Louis breathes. "Dunno why you need the rest of us. Could be a solo artist right now and make it bigger than us."

Niall ducks his head in embarrassment, but feels a wide grin take over his face.

"T'at's not true. You lads are lovely t' look at. Don't sing half-bad, eit'er," Niall teases.

Niall sees his mum smiling at them from the corner of his eye, but he can't focus on that, because Louis' pulling him into a headlock and giving him a noogie.

"Oi!" Niall squawks, batting at Louis.

"Learn to take a compliment, Neil! I'll tickle you until you piss your pants!" Louis threatens, moving his hands down to Niall's sides and wiggling his fingers.

Niall howls with laughter, trying to get away from Louis' devious fingers, and when he pleads with Liam and Harry to save him, they just laugh at him, the fuckers.

Niall's never been happier in his life.

~

Niall's been back in London for a few days when he realizes his notebook is still missing.

If he thinks back, he knows it was missing before he went to visit his parents(who took the news of Niall being in One Direction now rather well, in his opinion, even if his mum cried). Niall tries to remember when he last had it, and realizes it was that day he met the lads and hurt his knee again.

So, Niall texts Nick to ask him if he's seen his notebook.

'wey hey ! u seen my notebook ?'

Nick send him a message back almost immediately.

'No, y?'

'think i left it there whn i fcked up my knee . u seen it at wrk ?'

'No, srru. Maybe ask 1 of the lads? Think they found it'

'can do ! pub tnite ?'

'Sure. Just me & u?'

'may invite th lads . tht cool ?'

Nick sends him a thumbs up emoji, so Niall sends him the cute double heart emoji and the poop emoji back.

Niall laughs when Nick sends him the slanty eyed emoji that seems to say 'I'm sick of your shit, but I love you anyway', but doesn't text him back. Instead, he calls up Louis, which is a thing he can do now.

"How is my favorite Irish band mate today?" Louis asks when he picks up.

"I'm your only Irish band mate," Niall points out, rolling his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Neil. That doesn't mean you're not my favorite," Louis snarks back.

Niall looks around warily, suddenly sure Louis' somehow set up cameras and can see him sitting naked on his sofa.

"Stop being paranoid, Niall. It's not like I have cameras set up in your house," Louis says.

"What, are you a mind reader now, too?" Niall asks suspiciously.

"No, you're just an open book, love," Louis replies, sounding fond.

Niall just sits there, smiling like an idiot.

"Not that I don't love getting phone calls from you, but did you need something, babe?" Louis asks after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, right. Do you wanna come wit' me and Nick t' a pub tonight? Wit' Harry and Liam, too, of course, if t'ey're not busy."

"I'd love to, actually. Li and Haz have plans tonight, though. What's the occasion?"

"I'm Irish. Do I need any ot'er justification?" Niall grins.

"No, I suppose not," Louis replies, laughing. "Where and when?"

Once they've finished making plans, they just chat for a bit before Louis suddenly asks, "You wanna come over for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure. Now?" Niall asks, standing from the sofa. He's done with the crutches for now, but he has to be careful still, or his knee aches something awful.

"Yeah, if you're not busy," Louis says.

"No, I'm not busy. I'll just get dressed and take t'e tube over."

Louis' quiet for a moment.

"Get dressed? Niall Horan, are you naked?" Louis asks teasingly.

Niall shrugs.

"Might be. Never got dressed when I got out o' t'e shower," Niall quips, making his way to his bedroom. "You might not want t' sit on me sofa next time you come over. Me bare arse has been all over it."

Louis laughs, but it sounds a bit strained.

"I'm gonna come get you. I don't want you taking the tube with your knee still bothering you."

"Lou, it's fine. I'm already off me crutches," Niall protests, though it's half-hearted. He'd love it if Louis came to pick him up.

"Nope. Not taking no for an answer. I'll be over in fifteen minutes, so get your pale arse in gear and get dressed."

Niall just laughs.

"Yes, Daddy," Niall says mockingly.

Niall hears Louis choke, interestingly enough.

"Jesus Christ, Niall! You can't just say shit like that!" Louis tells him, his voice sounding a bit rough.

And, oh. It sort of clicks for him. Does Louis have a Daddy kink? Niall had only said it jokingly, but now that he thinks about it, Louis sort of is Daddy material.

Niall feels his cock stir a bit in interest, but he calms himself. He can't keep from teasing Louis, though.

"Does Louis Tomlinson have a Daddy kink?" Niall goads.

"Fuck, Niall. Don't, okay?" Louis pleads, a bit of a whine in his voice.

"Okay, Daddy. See you when you get here!"

And with that, Niall ends the call and has a quick wank before getting dressed.

~

When Louis picks him up, Niall finds he can't stop taking quick glances at him.

He looks good, is the thing. So well put together. Niall's always thought he was attractive, but he can't get how much Louis now looks like a proper Daddy out of his head. His scruff is neatly trimmed, and his arms look huge in his muscle shirt. His hair is soft and messy with his bangs falling over his forehead and he just looks so, well, good, for lack of a better term.

If Louis notices his staring, he doesn't mention it.

"So, I was thinking we could sit down and write a song together. What do you think?" Louis asks.

"I'd love to, but t'at reminds me. Have you seen a blue notebook wit' lyrics in it? Can't seem to find it."

Louis turns to him with wide eyes when he stops at a stop sign.

"That was yours?" Louis asks, sounding a bit breathless.

"So you have seen it?" Niall asks in confusion.

"Yeah, I found it when we came in for that interview with Nick. Sort of nicked it by mistake when Nick rushed out of the room after you. Didn't realize I still had it until I left the hospital. Sorry about that." Louis shrugs, not seeming all that apologetic as he starts driving again. "When I saw the lyrics, I just couldn't help meself. I had to read more. Hope you don't mind."

"I'd rather you found it t'an someone who would try and steal me songs. T'ey're really personal."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. Is everything okay? Most of your songs are really sad, and your favorites of our songs are sad, too."

Niall shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"I'm fine. Not'ing t' worry about," Niall says, and it only feels like half a lie, though he's unsure of which part is the lie and which part is the truth.

Louis frowns, darting his eyes over to look at him.

"Are you sure?" Louis asks uncertainly.

"Fuck, what do you want me t' say, Louis? T'at I hated my life before I met you? T'at I'm lonely? T'at I get pissed off me arse t' forget t'e pain of feeling so inadequate t'at I just want t' give up?" Niall explodes, and maybe it's not fair for him to go off on Louis when he's just concerned for him, but he's been bottling this up for years.

Louis quickly finds a place to pull over, in some abandoned parking lot, and turns to Niall with wide eyes.

"Niall...," Louis whispers. "You can talk to me, okay?"

Louis just looks so sincere and concerned and Niall wants to, he does, but he doesn't know how. He's so used to bottling everything up and being the happy one, the one who's always up for a laugh, that he doesn't know how to talk about those things he hides away.

"How?" Niall whispers. "How do I do that?"

"Oh, love, come here," Louis says softly, taking off his seatbelt and reaching out to Niall with one hand and patting his lap with the other in an obvious gesture for Niall to sit in his lap for a cuddle.

Niall can't help himself. He unbuckles his own seatbelt and climbs over the center console, settling himself carefully in Louis' lap sideways with his back to the door. Louis' arms come up to embrace Niall, just rubbing his hands soothingly up and down his back as Niall curls up into his chest. It's a bit awkward, with Niall being slightly bigger than Louis, but he doesn't care. He's feeling a bit unstable right now.

Niall doesn't know how long they sit there in silence, but he calmed down a while ago and is just enjoying being in Louis' arms now.

"What happened, love?" Louis murmurs. "What hurt you so much that you don't know how to talk about your problems?"

Niall pulls away a bit to look at Louis.

"I- I don't- I'm not- Louis," Niall whines, not sure how to answer.

"It's okay, love. Take your time. I can wait."

Niall bites his lower lip as he tries to organize his thoughts to answer Louis' question. It takes a few minutes, but finally, Niall thinks he's found the answer. Or, at least, an answer he's willing to share.

"I t'ink it may have been when I was eliminated," Niall says quietly. "I was young and naïve and full o' hopes and dreams, and when I was sent home, I just sort of didn't know how t' process it all."

Louis hums encouragingly, so Niall continues.

"For a while, I considered just giving up on music entirely. It had burned me, wanting somet'ing so much, only for it t' be taken away from me," Niall tells him, watching as Louis' eyes widen.

"Oh, no. Love, I'm so sorry. Things are better now, though?" Louis asks, sounding pained. Pained for him.

"T'ings are a lot better now, Lou. My life has been so much happier since I met you. And Liam and Harry," Niall tacks on, hoping Louis didn't notice the pause.

"I'm glad, then. It's not right for someone like you to feel anything but happy. You deserve to be happy, Niall Horan," Louis tells him, and Niall can see that he's entirely sincere. It brings tears to his eyes.

"T'ank you, Lou. T'at really means a lot t' me," Niall whispers.

"Of course, love. Do you want me to take you home?" Louis asks gently.

"No, please. Can we still hang out?"

Even Niall can hear the pleading note in his voice.

"Of course we can. Are you okay now? Or can we cuddle more at home?"

Niall feels a strange warmth fill his chest at Louis referring to his house as home, like it applies to both of them, even if he's certain the older man doesn't mean it that way.

"I'm okay now. I'd love t' cuddle more when we get t' your place."

Louis watches him with warm affection as he awkwardly climbs back into his own seat and puts his seatbelt back on. Niall feels his heartbeat pick up seeing it. And that's when Niall knows he's fucked.

He's in love with Louis Tomlinson.

~

When they finally arrive at Louis' house, they spend their time cuddling and just talking.

They continue to flirt a bit, but Niall stays away from the Daddy topic, since it wouldn't do to get hard when he's so close to Louis. He can't seem to stop thinking about it, but Niall forces those thoughts back as best he can.

Louis makes it so hard, though. He's stupidly attractive, and his scruff is scratchy and feels amazing against his bare skin. Louis' hair is even more messy than before from their tickle fight earlier, which had Niall howling with laughter and tears streaming down his face. They'd had to put an end to it when Niall had almost fallen off the sofa, and now they're just cuddling in silence, Louis trailing his fingers lightly down Niall's spine.

"Tell me somet'ing I don't already know," Niall mumbles, pushing his face deeper into Louis' chest.

"What do you want to know?" Louis asks, sounding lazy and a bit sleepy.

"When did you know? T'at you were, you know, gay?" Niall asks hesitantly, looking up at Louis. "Can I ask that?"

"Of course you can ask, love. I suppose it's only fair. Tit for tat, you know?" Louis replies.

They lie there in silence for a few moments while Louis gathers his thoughts, and Niall is content with it.

"Suppose I always knew," Louis begins. "When I was younger, I would always stare more at the boys than the girls. Girls never interested me, but I figured it was a phase. Never really clicked until puberty kicked in and I was popping a boner watching David Beckham run around the football field with sweat running down his skin. Was probably around fourteen, then."

Niall blinks and props his chin up on Louis' chest to look up at the older man.

"Then what about Eleanor? And Hannah? And that one girl at the pool over the summer?" Niall asks.

He immediately wants to smack himself. Sure, Niall could blame his knowledge of Louis' love life on his obsession with One Direction, but Niall's not sure he would have even known about the girl at the pool if he didn't fancy Louis. He doesn't keep up to date with all of Liam and Harry's flings, though he's aware of the big ones, like Danielle and Sophia for Liam and Taylor Swift and Caroline Flack and Kendall Jenner for Harry.

Louis meets his eyes with a wicked grin.

"Invested in my love life, babe?" Louis asks teasingly.

Niall feels his face burn with embarrassment and buries it in Louis' chest. Once he figures out that Niall's not going to reply, Louis speaks.

"Hannah was a genuine girlfriend at the time, because I was sort of in denial about being gay, but eventually I had to break it off when I accepted it. Eleanor was a contracted girlfriend, because management didn't want me coming out publicly yet. That was okay, since she was a good friend. The girl at the pool was also management's doing, but soon after, I started fighting a lot more to come out. They eventually agreed for me to come out before the album dropped, when we were doing all our interviews and such, to increase interest in us, which I don't agree with, by the way, but I was just happy to be able to come out. I was sick of hiding such a big part of me."

Niall frowns into Louis' shirt.

"Do you t'ink management would make me hide?" Niall asks, and immediately wants to take it back. That sounds selfish, even if he's genuinely worried about it. He's always been open about that part of himself. Still, Louis just shared something personal with him, and the first thing he says in response is about himself. Is he really so self-centered?

Louis pulls Niall's head up so that he can meet his eyes, a fierce look on his face.

"Babe, I won't let them do that, I assure you. I don't want you to go through the same thing I did."

Niall feels a small smile begin to form on his lips.

"T'ank you. Really. Means a lot t' me," Niall tells him, a warm feeling building up in his chest. It's easy to tell that Louis cares for him, even if that's a daunting thought, and it makes him happy.

"'Course, love. I just want you to be happy."

And Niall knows he means it. Despite all his sharp edges and his quicksilver tongue, Louis really does mean it. Total softie inside.

Niall just smiles up at him, happier than he's ever been in his life.

~

When they leave for the pub, a bit of a higher class one that caters specifically to celebrities, it's already dark out.

Louis calls a car for them, since they're both likely to drink themselves stupid tonight. They spend the entire ride just talking, and it's nice. Louis tells him about his family, and Niall shares some things about his life, which Louis seems to really enjoy.

"Did you really get detention for writing lyrics in class?" Louis asks, sounding incredulous.

Niall laughs.

"Yeah. Me Mat's teacher hated me. Couldn't stand me presence, since she had Greg a few years before, and he was really good at Mat's. Total teacher's pet, t'at one. I nearly failed her class and always ate during class, since it was last period and I had an early lunch time. Any time she'd catch me not working on class work, she'd write me up. Sometimes, even laughing got me detention. Told me I was a disruption t' t'e class," Niall tells him, amused with the memory.

Louis frowns, however.

"How could anyone hate you? You're a literal ball of sunshine," Louis says.

Niall just laughs and waves it off.

"I know I can get kind of annoyingly cheerful. Rubs people t'e wrong way sometimes."

Niall shrugs, and Louis' frown deepens. Just when he opens his mouth, though, the car comes to a stop and the driver announces that they've arrived.

Louis shoots him a look that seems to say he's not going to forget this, and they will be talking about it later, which has Niall rolling his eyes.

They get out of the car and watch as it drives off before they enter the pub, Niall leading the way towards his and Nick's usual booth. Nick had to get him in the first few times, because he's not a celebrity, but now he's been there so often that the bouncer lets him in without even stopping him. Even gives a little wave and a wink when they pass by, which has Louis stepping closer and resting a hand on the small of his back, much to the faux blond's amusement. Seems Louis' the jealous type.

When they get to the booth, Louis slides in on the opposite side of Nick and Niall slides in after him.

"Took you long enough. Had to stop fucking eventually, yeah?" Nick teases.

"Nick, shut t'e fuck up!" Niall whines in mortification.

"Hey, don't be mean to me favorite Irish band mate," Louis warns, looking like he's only half-joking.

"Lou, I'm your only Irish band mate. I've already explained t'is t' you," Niall tells him.

"And I already explained to you that, that doesn't mean you're not me favorite," Louis quips.

Niall just rolls his eyes and turns to Nick, who's watching them with curiosity and amusement.

"Get me a pint, you fucker," Niall pouts.

Nick rolls his eyes but makes his way out of the booth.

"If I come back to you two fucking, I'm calling off our friendship, Niall. Never talking to you again," Nick deadpans as he leaves.

Niall feels his cheeks flush and buries his face in his hands.

"Why's he so sure we're fucking?" Louis asks, sounding quizzical, but no less amused than before.

Niall looks up from between his fingers.

"May have gotten drunk one night and talked his ear off about you," Niall mumbles, half-hoping Louis doesn't hear.

"Yeah? What about me?" Louis asks with a sharp grin.

"Your eyelashes and your scruff and your eyes and your bum and your hair and your humor and your laugh and your wit and your t'ighs and your biceps and your voice and your singing?" Niall lists off quickly, some of his words bleeding together.

Louis blinks, like he's trying to process everything Niall just said.

"So, pretty much everything about me? Is that right?"

Niall nods.

"Had a proper crush, I t'ink," Niall says, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. He did not just say that.

"Had? You don't have a crush on me anymore?" Louis asks, looking vaguely disappointed for a minute.

Niall's sort of at a crossroads. They've only just met a few weeks ago, but Niall's sure he loves him. But, since they only met a few weeks sgo, it's definitely too soon to say something like that. Still, Niall thinks Louis might like him a bit, so he doesn't want to say no and possibly close that door forever.

Before Niall can make a decision, Nick comes back, setting Niall's pint in front of him, and sliding a glass full of some kind of amber liquid towards Louis, keeping a beer bottle for himself.

"First round's on me, I guess. Figure it's only fair," Nick says as he slides back into his seat.

"What is t'at?" Niall asks, nodding to Louis' tumbler as he takes a gulp of his own drink.

"Scotch. Louis here has a thing for old whiskey," Nick answers.

And, well, fuck. The only thing Niall can think of is Louis sitting in a big, comfy chair with a suit on, his tie loosened, having a drink by the fire. The image screams Daddy, and Niall has to bite his lower lip hard to keep from moaning at the thought.

"This one's an eighteen year old one, so it's technically legal," Nick jokes.

Louis picks up his tumbler and swirls the liquid inside for a moment before he takes a small sip. He hums in approval.

"This one's one of me favorites," Louis comments.

"It's the only one I'm buying you. Being a radio show host doesn't pay as well as you'd think," Nick tells him.

Louis just laughs and turns to Niall.

"What's up, babe? You got all quiet," Louis asks.

Niall releases his lower lip from between his teeth and sees Louis' gaze dart down for a moment before settling back on his eyes.

"'M fine," Niall says, having to clear his throat when his voice comes out a bit rough. "Just kind of tired."

And yeah, that's true. Lounging around all day with Louis doing little more than talking and cuddling made him sleepy. He'd probably be perfectly content to go to sleep right now, if Louis held him in his arms and cuddled with him again.

"You want to go home? We can do this some other time," Louis asks, setting his glass down.

Niall shakes his head.

"No, it's fine. I'm sure once I get a few beers in me, I'll be more awake," Niall replies.

Louis just nods in acceptance and pats Niall's thigh.

~

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he feels awful. His head's killing him, his eyes burn from the light when he opens them, and his mouth tastes like something died in it. A good night, then.

It's only when Niall stretches a bit that he realizes he's not alone in bed.

The faux blond stiffens, seeing the tattooed arm draped across his waist, feels the heat of someone's chest against his back. He has to check to make sure, but he's still wearing his pants, so he knows they didn't fuck, which, all things considered, is probably a good thing. He'd want to remember in absolute clarity if he and Louis ever fucked.

"Morning, babe. You awake?" Louis grumbles from behind him, pushing himself closer to Niall's back.

Niall shivers when he feels Louis' warm breath hitting the back of his neck.

"Yeah. 'M awake. Why am I here and not in me shitty bed?" Niall asks.

"By the time we left the pub, you were nearly passed out, so I just brought you back here. Hope you don't mind."

Niall shakes his head.

"Don't mind. What time is it?"

"Too early. Go back to bed, babe," Louis coaxes, tightening his hold around Niall's middle.

Niall shivers again, feeling Louis' hand spread across his stomach wide and presses himself back into the older man's heavy heat.

"Yeah, okay," Niall mumbles, his eyes already drifting shut.

~

"Tomorrow?" Niall repeats, his tone flat, belying his panic.

Simon just nods.

"What the fuck, Simon? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Niall's never had so much attention on him before. We need time to prepare him!" Louis snaps.

"The less time he has to freak out, the better," Simon tells them with a shrug.

"He has a fucking panic disorder, Simon! For fuck's sake. He's gonna have a panic attack!" Louis shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

That seems to make Simon pause, and he suddenly looks more apologetic than Niall's ever seen him in the past two months he's been reacquainted with him, or ever, now that Niall thinks about it. He wasn't sure Simon Cowell was even capable of feeling apologetic, which may be a bit of an unfair thought, now that Niall thinks about it.

"I didn't know. Sorry, Niall. There's no way to reschedule, however. I do hope you'll be able to pull through." Simon says.

Niall takes a shaky breath, forcing down his nerves.

"I can do it," Niall say, voice coming out stronger than he feels.

Louis still looks concerned for him, as well as Liam and Harry, but Louis looks especially concerned.

"Good. I'll send you the details later on today. We'll send a car for you in the morning," Simon tells him.

Niall just nods.

"He's staying with me tonight. He'll ride over with me tomorrow," Louis quickly cuts in.

Niall notices Harry and Liam exchange glances, like they're having a silent conversation. He's noticed them look like that occasionally, usually after Louis blatantly flirts with him, so Niall's more or less used to it. He can probably guess what those looks mean, but Louis and him are just friends, even if Niall's pretty sure their feelings are mutual. Maybe Niall feels more for Louis than Louis feels for him, though.

Simon also looks at them with a strange glint in his eyes, like he's fondly exasperated, and that confuses Niall.

"Alright. Well, off with you, then. I'll see you lot tomorrow."

Simon waves his hand and dismisses them, so they all file out of his office, where they'd held their meeting.

As soon as he steps out of the office, however, all of his nerves come back full force. Niall's breathing picks up as he struggles to calm himself, because how is he supposed to handle this? How is he supposed to-

Fuck, he can't breathe.

"Ni, babe, breathe with me. Breathe in, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four, five, six," Louis says gently, guiding him through his breathing exercises.

Liam and Harry watch quietly as Louis calms Niall down from the edge of his panic attack. It's not a common occurance, but it's happened before, usually when Niall gets overwhelmed and stuck in his own head. Liam and Harry have witnessed this before, so Niall wouldn't think anything of it, if he could think past Louis' voice soothing him and his own breathing.

It takes a good few minutes, but when Niall can breathe easy again, without Louis guiding him and whispering praise into his ear, the faux blond slumps againt Louis.

Louis doesn't complain about how heavy he is, despite Niall being sure that he is, as he's not supporting himself at all. He just wraps his arms securely around Niall and runs his fingers through his hair, fucking up his quiff, but Niall doesn't care right now. The comfort feels nice.

"You okay now, love?" Louis murmurs.

Niall nods.

"'M fine now. T'ank you, Lou," Niall whispers. "You always take such good care o' me."

"Of course I do. I care about you, Niall. How could I not take care of you?" Louis says fondly.

Niall smiles and finally stands on his own.

"So, we still going t' Nando's?" Niall asks cheerfully.

Louis rolls his eyes.

"Yes, we'll get you your bloody chicken, you twat," Louis teases.

Niall knows they'll end up talking more about tomorrow when they get back to Louis', which has become a sort of home away from home with how often he stays there. To be honest, he sleeps in Louis' bed more often than his own, which his body is thankful for. His bed is awful, while Louis' is perfect.

(He firmly pushes thoughts of moving in together out of his head.)

~

Once Niall and Louis say goodbye to Liam and Harry, they start on their way home. Or, well, on their way to Louis' house. While they were eating(Louis had somehow managed to book the entire restaurant again without Niall's knowledge), the email had come in with tomorrow's details, but Louis had quickly confiscated his phone. He'd said they would go over it when they got home, which had Niall agreeing easily enough, because he loves it when Louis calls his house 'home', like it includes Niall.

They chat about nothing important as Louis makes his way through the late afternoon traffic, occasionally turning up the radio when they like a particular song and singing along. Niall can't help but notice how well he and Louis harmonize, their voices blending together seamlessly. It's times like this that Niall knows he's found his place. He belongs in One Direction.

They've been working on giving Niall parts in each of their songs, which is a daunting task, as there's just so many songs, but they make it a point to figure out at least one song a day. So far, Niall has parts for all of their most popular songs, ones they perform each time for their concerts, and sure, Niall is nervous he's going to fuck up the songs, but Louis always reassures him that he sounds amazing, and that really bolsters his confidence.

When Niall had to learn his parts in No Control, he'd nearly combusted. Louis had teased him mercilessly, but he'd also given Niall these dark looks that had Niall squirming a bit. Niall remembers Harry making a joke about them not wanting to see them fuck in front of him and Liam, which had Niall whining in embarrassment, his face flushed a bright red.

(Now that Niall thinks about it, they're not really all that discreet. Not if more than one of their mutual friends jokes about not wanting to see them have sex, at least. Niall also can't find it in himself to care all that much.)

Louis always praises him for how well he sings his parts, though. Tells him that he sings them like he had been doing it from the start. It gives Niall this warm feeling in his chest each and every time, and it never gets old, never goes away. It's mind-boggling how much Niall loves Louis.

When they finally get back to Louis' house, Niall feels trepidation fill him, but he pushes it down as much as he can. He doesn't need to have another panic attack.

Louis seems to sense it anyway, because when he and Niall enter, he pulls Niall to his room and cuddles with him on the bed.

"Are you really alright, love?" Louis murmurs, watching his face closely.

Niall shrugs as best he can in Louis' arms while lying on the bed.

"Just a bit nervous, I t'ink. Don't want t' fuck it up. What if t'ey hate me?" Niall mumbles, his eyes drifting away from Louis'.

"How could anyone hate you?" Louis says, as he always does when Niall brings it up. "Yeah, some of the journos are cunts, and some of the fans may not be able to understand immediately, but once they see you and give you a chance, there's not a doubt in me mind that they'll love you."

Niall frowns.

"I'm just a nobody, t'ough. T'ey'll t'ink I'm trying t' replace Zayn," Niall replies. He's given it a lot of thought, and he knows that's what he'd think if it were someone else.

"Ni, no. Nobody can replace Zayn. You were meant to be with us from the beginning, and we'll explain that. Some people might not believe it, and some may be absolute tossers to you, but Harry, Liam and I won't let them do that to you. We'll support you, yeah? You belong in One Direction just as much as the rest of us, maybe even more," Louis tells him gently, though there's a fierce look in his eyes that seems to tell Niall that he'll protect the younger man.

"T'ank you, Lou. Love- Love t'e way you treat me," Niall says, stumbling over his words a bit. He almost told Louis that he loves him, and that has his heart racing.

Louis' eyes shine, like he knows what Niall actually meant, but he doesn't press it.

"Just treat you the way you deserve to be treated, love," Louis replies, voice soft.

They just lie there and cuddle in silence, until they eventually drift off to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be hard, but Niall knows Louis will support him. The other lads will, too.

~

The next morning is full of nerves and anxiety and dizzying motion.

Niall feels like he's going to be sick, and Louis' already had to calm him down three times, once before the car even got there to pick them up. It's a good thing Niall's got some clothes already in a drawer at Louis' house, otherwise he'd have stressed even more about it.

They're going to make the announcement today. They're going to tell the world that Niall has joined One Direction, and Niall has never been more nervous in his life. They're even going to play a song after the announcement, which is taking place at BBC Radio 1 with Nick, thankfully, so that's less of a worry for Niall. It's still nerve-wracking, knowing it's going to be in front of a small audience and everything's going to be broadcasted on television and online.

(If Niall's honest, he's surprised Simon waited this long to introduce him to world. Of course, the older man had explained that he'd wanted to wait until Niall was in better health to do so, which Niall took to mean 'a cripple is bad for business'. Again, that may be a bit of a harsh thought to have against the man who made it possible for Niall to have this opportunity.)

"Niall, it's going to be okay, yeah? We're gonna all be here, and Nick's a great interviewer, despite how much of a wanker he is," Louis tells him, trying to calm him down.

Niall manages a weak smile, but his nerves don't go away.

"T'anks, but 'm still nervous. T'ey're gonna hate me, Lou!" Niall mumbles.

"Hush. They'll love you just as much as I- the lads and I do. You're gonna do great, love. Just trust yourself and try to forget about everything else, yeah? Just focus on me, okay?" Louis tells him.

Niall nods, still nervous, but it's starting to ease up a bit now. Louis will be there, and so will Liam, Harry, and Nick. He'll be surrounded by some of his best friends. Everything's going to be okay.

Niall's nerves come back when Louis has to leave him, though. He, Harry, and Liam are going to go out first and talk with Nick for a few minutes before Niall has to come out. He'll be able to watch them from the side as they talk, so he doesn't miss his cue, but he's still nervous.

"Just stay as calm as you can, okay, babe? You'll be back with us in just a few minutes," Louis reassures him, giving him a hug that doesn't last nearly as long as Niall would like.

Niall just nods, can't seem to muster a smile. Louis looks at him worriedly before a tech is ushering him to go stand with Liam and Harry, who were watching their exchange. Harry shoots him a smile and a thumbs up.

It seems to take forever before he's given his cue to go wait at the edge of backstage, even if Niall thinks Louis looks unfairly attractive when he laughs and shoots the shit with Nick. When it's time for him to enter, Niall takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes on Louis as he walks to the sofa, all the lads scooting over so Niall can sit beside Louis, closest to Nick, on the edge of the sofa. Once Niall sits down, Louis places a comforting hand on his thigh, squeezing a bit before he lays his arm around the sofa's back, curling around Niall's shoulders.

Niall looks up to Nick and shoots him a small smile.

"Hey, Nick. It's good t' see you," Niall tells him, and it's true.

It's been about a week since they've hung out, as Niall's been busy with learning his parts, and he's missed the older man, not that he'd tell him. It'd give him a bigger head than he already has.

"It's good to see you, too, Ni. My new assistant keeps fucking up my coffee," Nick jokes, and Niall knows that's not true.

Nick doesn't even need an assistant, and Niall knows for a fact that the lazy fuck hasn't even tried to find a new one.

"Piss off," Niall tells him cheerfully.

The faux blond can hear the whispering of the audience, and it's making his anxiety rise, but Louis just lays his hand warmly on the back of his neck. Niall shivers and leans back into it.

"So, everyone's probably wondering why you're here today, Niall. Who wants to do the honors?"

"I will," Louis volunteers. He looks straight into the camera with more confidence than Niall thinks he, himself, would be capable of. "When One Direction was formed, we weren't meant to be a four-piece. We were actually supposed to have five members. Niall, here, is our lost member, and we only just recently were able to track him down. The fucker would be great at hide-and-seek," Louis says with a wink.

Niall laughs, though it comes out a bit choked. Even if Louis is obviously taking the piss, Niall knows it was his fault. He was the one who had multiple opportunities to meet them and set all this straight, but chose not to, because he was scared.

"Yeah, Niall's great," Liam chimes in. "Wish he'd been with us from the beginning. Some things just take time, though, I suppose."

"If anyone says anything nasty about Niall, you'll have to go through us," Harry warns in his deep voice.

Niall feels that warm feeling he's beginning to become familiar with rise up in his chest from how much these men actually care for him.

"So, does this mean he's officially joining One Direction now?" Nick asks, trying to get the interview back on track.

"Yeah," Louis answers. "We've been giving him parts and stuff, and you guys will not believe how well he just fits in with all of us. Voice of a bloody angel," Louis swears.

Niall's face heats up, but he still groans.

"Shouldn't have let you meet me mum," Niall complains, though he doesn't mean it. He loves that Louis' met his mum.

"She's a nice lady, your mum. We need to have her meet my, Harry's, and Liam's mums. I'm sure they'd get along quite well."

"She does seem t' like t'em all," Niall agrees easily, because it's true.

"Will you boys be performing a song for us today?" Nick asks.

"Of course we are. Gotta let the world know how well our favorite Irish band mate sings."

"How many times do I have t' explain t'at I'm your only Irish band mate?" Niall asks Louis with fond exasperation.

"How many times do I have to explain that, that doesn't mean you're not our favorite?" Louis shoots back, grinning at Niall.

Niall just laughs and shakes his head.

"We're gonna be performing a song Niall wrote today," Liam explains.

"Yeah, it's called Don't Forget Where You Belong. Think it would have gone over well on Midnight Memories," Harry adds.

And now Niall's nerves come back full force. It had taken them a while to convince Niall to allow them to sing this song on the show, but Louis eventually managed it. The rest of the lads had felt it would be the best song to introduce Niall into the world with, and Niall can't say he disagrees.

They'd split up the song to give everyone parts, and when Niall had heard the finished product, he'd burst into embarrassing tears. They'd all sounded so good together, is the thing.

"Well, let's get to that, yeah?" Nick suggests.

They all stand from the sofa and make their way over to the stage area, where Niall picks up his guitar, making sure it's still in tune.

He's just fiddling with it, as it's already in tune, when there's a warm hand placed on his back, startling him.

"Don't think too much about it, babe. Just like in practice, yeah? You're gonna do great," Louis tells him.

Niall nods and gives him a small smile in return.

When they get their cue to begin, Niall starts playing, and slowly feels his nerves disappear as he does. Music has always been his happy place, and Niall starts to relax into it.

His solo starts off a bit shaky, but his voice gets stronger the longer he sings. When they sing the chorus together, Niall's eyes get a bit wet with tears, because they just sound so lovely together, and that means the world to him. This band means the world to him.

When they finish, the audience is quiet for a moment before there's a sudden outbreak of clapping and shouts and whistles that have Niall burying his face in his hands as he sobs. Three sets of arms come to wrap around him as he cries, and Niall's never felt as happy as he does now.

~

Niall is back at Louis' again when he sees it.

Louis' off taking a shower while Niall just sits at the bar in the kitchen, eating some take-away Chinese Louis'd ordered before he got into the shower, and he nearly drops his phone in shock.

'One Direction replaces Zayn Malik with Irish Bumpkin'

Niall can't stop himself from reading the article, and he's in tears by the end of it. Why would they say such mean things about him? They called him an awful singer who wormed his way into a band he has no place in, insinuating that he'd done some sleeping around to get the chance, and that he'd never replace Zayn, wasn't even worth the dog shit on his shoe. They even went so far as to call his mum a whore who should have just had an abortion when she found out she was pregnant.

Niall still has tears streaming down his face when Louis comes in, but he doesn't hear him, because he's just searched his name and found more articles telling him similar things.

"Oh, fuck! Niall, what's wrong?" Louis shouts, sounding a bit panicked.

Niall looks up at Louis dully.

"I should go," Niall says, standing from his stool.

"No! You can't go! Not until you explain what's wrong!" Louis interjects, wrapping his arms around Niall.

The younger man struggles in Louis' hold, but he just tightens his arms around Niall. After a bit, Niall stops struggling and breaks down into ugly sobs.

"I don't belong here!" Niall cries. "T'ey hate me, Louis!"

"Babe, calm down for me, please. What happened? You were just fine when I left you earlier," Louis asks, sounding a bit lost.

It takes a few seconds for Niall to calm down enough to get anything out around his tears.

"Someone tweeted me an article, and it's just so awful, Lou. T'ey- T'ey said-" Niall can't even explain, just pulls away from Louis and brings the article back up on his phone.

Niall hands the device to Louis, who takes it, but doesn't read it yet. He grabs Niall's hand and pulls him back to Louis' bed to cuddle before he even glances at what's written.

The older man's grip gets steadily tighter around Niall as he reads through it, his nostrils flaring. By the time he finishes, he's looking thoroughly furious.

"Niall, none of what The Sun says can be trusted, you hear me? They're fucking shit journos who never have anything nice to say. Don't listen to them, okay? You belong in One Direction. That shit about your mum was entirely out of line, too. Fuck them!" Louis fumes.

Niall just bites his lip, his eyes stinging.

"T'ere were ot'ers, too, Lou. T'ey all t'ink I'm Zayn's replacement. T'ey all t'ink I don't belong, t'at I did awful t'ings t' end up wit' you lads," Niall whimpers.

"Babe, no! Don't listen to any of them! They don't know what they're talking about! You belong with us, okay? Believe me when I say that, please, love," Louis pleads.

Niall sniffles and nods.

"Okay," Niall agrees. It's hard not to, when Louis looks so vehement.

"Good. Now, I've wanted to bring this up for a while now, but it never felt like the right time. I think after this, it's the right time," Louis rambles.

Niall just giggles wetly.

"What is it?" Niall asks.

"Will you move in with me? I mean, you already spend all your time here anyway, and you have clothes and stuff already here, and you sleep in my bed most nights and-"

"Lou, I'd love t' move in wit' you," Niall cuts him off with a fond smile.

Louis immediately perks up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Niall echoes, and now there are more tears spilling down his cheeks, but they're from a completely different emotion this time.

~

Liam and Harry are amused, to say the least, when they arrive to help Niall and Louis box up his things to move into Louis'. Thankfully, they let Niall pack up his bedroom by himself, because it would be really embarrassing for them to find his toy box and his wank drawer dedicated to Louis. Can't really help how attractive the man is.

Niall's just found an old dildo he forgot he bought under his bed when Louis walks in.

"Hey, were you wanting us to pack your- Is that a dildo?" Louis asks, interrupting himself when he sees what's in Niall's hands.

Niall's eyes widen and he quickly hides it behind his back, even though Louis' already seen it. Louis looks amused.

"I, uh, yeah. Found it under me bed," Niall says, laughing nervously.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. When I lived with Harry, he'd leave his all over the place," Louis tells him, which.

"Harry?" Niall asks faintly.

"Yeah. Not an ounce of shame in that boy's body. I feel bad for Liam sometimes," Louis grins.

"Liam? Are t'ey-?" Niall stops himself from finishing the question, sure it's a stupid one, but Louis seems to understand.

"Yeah. They're not very obvious about it, are they? Never were ones for PDA," Louis replies.

"Really? I t'ought out of all o' you, it'd be you and Harry in a relationship, maybe Liam and Zayn?" Niall says, and immediately feels his cheeks fill with color. He's spent many a night just looking up fanfiction of the lads, and he really doesn't want them to know that.

Louis just laughs.

"What, you a Larry shipper?" Louis teases.

Niall tries to hide his face in his hands, but ends up smacking himself with the dildo. He whines and tosses it away, wanting to crawl under the bed and disappear. He can't believe he just made a fool of himself like that.

"Aww, don't be embarrassed, Niall. I'm sure there are others who've been smacked with a dildo in the face," Louis coos with a shit eating grin.

Niall moans in despair.

Why does he even love this ridiculous man, again?

~

By the time Niall's all moved into Louis' house, it's been dark for several hours. Liam and Harry had left after they'd moved all of the boxes out of the box truck they'd rented around three hours ago, saying they had dinner plans, and Niall and Louis had set to work on unboxing everything. It was slow going, but since Niall decided against bringing any of his shitty furniture to Louis' house - well, their house, now, Niall supposes - it's mostly just Niall's clothes, electronics, movies, games, books, and photos they need to unbox.

They decided Niall would put all of his things in the spare bedroom, even if Louis had bickered with him for half an hour about him just moving into Louis' room, since that's where he sleeps anyway, but Niall eventually won out when he pouted and batted his eyelashes, feeling like a proper twat, but it got Louis to agree. Grudgingly, and while mumbling about him playing dirty, because who could resist those big blue eyes and pouty lips, but he still agreed.

Niall's exhausted by the time everything's put away, and he's hungry, too, but he's always hungry. In his defense, it's dinner time, so Niall calls out to Louis, who's off somewhere else doing who knows what.

"Lou!" Niall calls lazily.

When Louis makes his way into the living room, Niall continues.

"What do you want t' do for dinner?" Niall asks.

Louis pauses to think.

"Nando's?" Louis suggests.

Niall's on his feet and grabbing his coat before he can blink. Louis' laughter follows him into the entryway as he pulls on his shoes.

"You can't go to Nando's in shorts, Niall. It's like 10° out, babe," Louis tells him, sounding amused.

Niall curses and kicks the one shoe he managed to get on back off, running back to his room and tugging on some skinny jeans, changing his shirt while he's at it. Once he's done, he races back to Louis and looks at him expectantly.

"I have to go change, too, love. Not really fond of looking homeless when standing next to you," Louis tells him fondly.

Niall frowns, pouting, but Louis doesn't give in this time, just laughs and walks off to his room to change. Niall sighs and leans down to put his shoes on, but that only takes a few seconds, and then he's left to bounce impatiently on his feet.

When Louis finally emerges from his room, he looks amazing. Sure, it's casual, just black skinny jeans and a t-shirt, but it's that red t-shirt that Niall drooled over when he wore it to that one conference. It looks just as good on him as it did then, and his chest tattoo looks absolutely mouthwatering.

"Ready, love?" Louis asks as he grabs his keys and pulls on his black Vans.

Niall snaps out of it and nods excitedly.

"Yeah. Let's go!"

Louis just laughs.

"Calm down, love. We just went to Nando's yesterday," Louis reminds him.

"Yeah, but before t'at, I hadn't been in two weeks. Two weeks, Lou! It was awful!" Niall whines.

"You know they don't have Nando's in America, right? What are you going to do when we go on tour for months on end?" Louis asks.

Niall looks at Louis in horror.

"I don't t'ink t'is band t'ing is gonna work out."

Louis laughs and grabs Niall's hand, interlacing their fingers as he pulls the faux blond out of the door.

~

It's been about a month now since Niall moved in to Louis', and they've been having talks about their next tour. They're planning to start in another month and a half, so Niall's been busy with the lads making sure he knows his parts and practicing with them. They've even recorded and released some of Niall's songs as singles, which really made him happy.

They went over well, for the most part. A lot of the bad press has stopped, accusing Niall of horrible things and calling him awful things, and he couldn't be more grateful, though that probably has to do more with Louis giving a particularly rude pap a thorough tongue-lashing when he was out with Niall and they got swarmed.

Most of the fanbase has even accepted him as a part of the band, and he has hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter now. Twitter is actually how he accidentally came out. Some fans went through his tweet history and found him gushing about just how attractive Louis was, and Justin Bieber back a few years ago. Needless to say, Louis had teased him about it non-stop when it was all over the news.

An interesting thing he's noticed on Tumblr, though, is the Nouis shippers. Apparently, he and Louis aren't all that discreet in their affection for each other, which isn't really that much of a surprise. There's all kinds of pictures and gifs and text posts about their supposed love affair that Niall can't stop himself from searching for. There's even fanfiction being written about them, and that's a huge surprise to Niall.

The first time Niall had found a particularly smutty one, one where Niall had been calling Louis 'Daddy' as the older man spanked him, he'd squealed so loud and shut the laptop so quickly that Louis had raced into the room in a half-panic.

It had been embarrassing to try to explain it, but Louis just laughed.

"They do that all the time, love," he'd explained. "You'll get used to it."

And Niall hadn't wanted to tell him that he was well aware of fanfiction, even wrote some himself one time when he was pissed off his arse and couldn't stop thinking about Louis' eyelashes, of all things. He never posted it, thankfully, but it's still sitting in a word document on his laptop, and Niall really hopes Louis never finds it.

Niall's just scrolling through Twitter when Louis comes back home, crawling into bed with him and heaving a sigh as he wraps Niall up in his arms.

"Long day?" Niall asks, turning off the screen of his phone and tossing it beside him as he settles into Louis' arms.

"Yeah. Got swarmed when I went shopping," Louis explains. "It was awful. I lost me favorite beanie in the process."

Niall frowns.

"I'm sorry you had such a bad time," Niall tells him sincerely.

"It's fine. Used to it, I suppose. It'd be nice if I could go out without someone recognizing me, though," Louis says with a sigh.

"Price of fame, or so t'ey say," Niall hums, resting his head on Louis' chest.

"How was your day, love? You do anything?" Louis asks as he tangles his fingers in Niall's hair.

"Not really. Made plans t' meet up wit' Ed later, t'ough. You wanna come?"

"Ed? You keep bringing him up, but I don't think we've ever met. What is he to you?" Louis asks, trying to sound non-chalant, but Niall can tell he's not as calm as he'd like Niall to believe, since his arms tighten around him.

Niall suddenly feels the urge to be devious. Louis always does look even more attractive than normal when he's jealous.

"Oh, Ed? We go on breakfast dates all t'e time. Sometimes lunch and dinner dates, too. We met almost t'ree years ago, I t'ink. We write toget'er sometimes," Niall tells him, watching as Louis lips turn down into a deep frown.

"I'll go with you, yeah. Where are you going?" Louis asks, voice tight.

"Oh, we were just planning t' go to a bar and t'en back t' his place," Niall answers, watching in amusement as something fierce flashes in Louis' eyes.

"I'm definitely tagging along, then. What time?"

"About an hour, actually. We were gonna grab dinner first, but he hates Nando's, so we're going t' some fancy sushi place he likes."

Louis' lips purse, like he's already forming an image of the mysterious 'Ed' in his mind, and he doesn't like it.

"I guess I'll get ready to go eat some sushi, then," Louis grumbles as he pulls himself out of bed.

Niall watches him leave, and waits until the shower turns on to burst into giggles. The faux blond grabs his phone and texts Ed.

'lou's cming 2 . thinks ur my bf or smthng . play along, will u ?'

It takes a minute before Ed texts back.

'I love you, mate, but should I really be getting involved in this? You're in love with him, right?'

Niall rolls his eyes at Ed's proper texting, but quickly types out a reply, sending it off without even caring about the errors. Ed will understand.

'its fine . jst a bit of fun . wanna makr him jelaous'

After a moment, Niall sends another text.

'pls'

Niall waits anxiously for Ed to text back, and it's when Louis walks in, toweling his hair off, that he gets his response.

'Fine. I suppose it'd be fun.'

"Yes!" Niall shouts in glee.

"Yes, what?" Louis asks, looking confused.

The first thing to come to mind is, embarrassingly enough, "Yes, Daddy," which makes his face heat up and his words come out in a stutter.

"Oh, n-not'ing important," Niall replies.

Louis shoots him a disbelieving look but doesn't press it, thankfully.

Niall leaves to go take his own shower, making sure to take his phone with him. He wouldn't put it past Louis to look, not because he doesn't trust him or anything, but because he's a nosy bastard with no boundaries.

Niall wouldn't have him any other way.

~

When Louis sees Ed, his eyes nearly pop out of his skull, Niall thinks.

The entire ride, Louis had grumbled and complained and had been strangely possessive, his hands never leaving Niall, and the younger man had sat through it all with amusement.

Niall knows Louis' just going to get even more jealous by the end of the night.

"Niall! Hey!" Ed calls, standing to bring the younger man into a hug.

When he pulls away, he leaves a small kiss on his cheek that has Louis tightening his grip on Niall's hand.

"Hey, Ed. 'S been a while. How've you been?" Niall asks, sliding in on Ed's side of the booth, leaving Louis with an entire side all by himself.

He looks really put out and disgruntled by that.

"I've been okay." Ed shrugs. "Been writing a bit for the next album. How have you been, Mr. Big Shot?"

Niall grins.

"I've been really good, actually. I moved in wit' Lou here about a mont' ago, and Harry and Liam are great," Niall tells him.

Ed turns to Louis, like he's surprised he's there.

"Oh, hey, Louis. I didn't know you were coming along," Ed says as he wraps an arm around Niall's waist.

Louis' lips purse for a moment.

"Yeah. Niall invited me. Hope you don't mind."

"Oh, no, I don't mind. But tell me how he's been. Has he had any more panic attacks? He never tells me any more," Ed asks worriedly.

Louis frowns, now, but it seems like he's more upset with Niall's panic attacks than Ed's closeness with Niall.

"Yeah, he's had a few. Not so many any more, but when we had the announcement, I had to calm him down four or five times. He really didn't take it well," Louis tells him, the concern obvious in his tone.

"Niall! Why didn't you tell me?" Ed says as he turns to Niall, sounding alarmed.

Niall shrugs.

"Lou was t'ere t' calm me down," Niall answers, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

This whole jealousy plan was a bad idea. Louis' been nothing but good to him, and he knows the man has feelings for him, and what does he do? He purposely hurts him because it'd be a laugh.

Niall leans close to Ed and whispers in his ear that he wants to call the whole thing off. When he pulls back, Ed nods in understanding and removes his arm from around Niall, who promptly get up and slides in on Louis' side.

Louis looks between them, looking equal parts confused and suspicious, and Niall just wants to cry. He's such a piece of shit.

"What's going on here?" Louis asks slowly.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Lou. It was supposed t' be a joke," Niall whispers.

"What was? What was supposed to be a joke?" Louis demands.

"T'is. I wanted t' make you jealous, so I asked Ed t' play along. I'm so sorry, Lou."

Niall buries his face in his hands, trying to keep the tears from falling. The table is silent for what must have been a full minute before someone speaks.

"Niall, let me out."

Niall looks up and sees Louis staring straight ahead, a stony look on his face.

"What?" Niall breathes.

"I said, let me out, or have you suddenly gone deaf?" Louis bites out, fixing a harsh glare on Niall's face.

Niall feels the tears start to over flow, but he obediently gets out of the booth and just stands there, watching as Louis seems to hesitate before he shakes his head and storms out of the restaurant.

When Niall breaks down into tears in the middle of the restaurant, Ed stands and wraps him up in his arms, quietly suggesting they go back to his place for tonight.

Niall agrees and lets Ed pull him out to his car, feeling like his heart's been torn to shreds and thrown back into his chest a barely functioning mess.

~

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he feels awful.

His eyes are swollen from all of his crying, and his throat is sore from puking his guts out after drinking himself stupid last night. His back aches from sleeping on Ed's uncomfortable couch, and he's just generally miserable.

He almost has a heart attack when he looks at his phone, though.

Twenty-three missed calls and fifty-seven new text messages. All from Louis.

Before Niall can even open any of the texts, his phone starts vibrating in his hand. A call from Louis.

Niall hesitantly accepts the call.

"Hello?" Niall answers, wincing at how rough his voice sounds.

"Where are you?" Louis asks, sounding panicked.

Niall blinks, feeling more awake.

"Ed's. Why d'you even care? You left me last night," Niall says, feeling confused and hurt, even though he was the one who hurt Louis first.

"Fuck, Niall. I was hurt and angry and I wasn't thinking straight! I'm sorry I over-reacted. Please come home," Louis begs.

"I-" Niall cuts himself off with a confused noise. "Why do you even want me t'ere? I was cruel t' you. You should kick me out of your house, t'e band, your life!"

"Niall, no," Louis gasps, sounding strangely breathless. "Baby, no! I've thought it through, and I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me. You don't have a single mean bone in your body."

Niall just whines, feeling more tears gather in his eyes, and it hurts. He's cried too much.

"I'm coming to get you, okay, baby? We need to have a talk," Louis tells him, and Niall can hear all kinds of background noise. "Stay on the line with me, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."

Niall sniffles.

"'Kay."

And, true to his word, there's frantic knocking on the door a few minutes later. Niall drags himself up from the sofa and makes his way to the front door, the phone still to his ear. When it opens, Niall is immediately drawn into an embrace, so tight that Niall feels his breath leave him.

Niall drops his phone, call still connected, and brings his arms around Louis to reciprocate the hug, burying his face into Louis' shoulder when he feels more of those damnable tears well up.

He doesn't know how long they stand there in silence, just hugging each other, but when Louis finally pulls away, Niall sees that the older man has tears in his eyes as well. He still smiles when he speaks, though.

"Let's go home."

~

They stay quiet the entire way back home, probably because they both know what their upcoming conversation is going to be about. They've been dancing around it for ages now, and they haven't been hiding it particularly well, not even from each other.

When they enter the house, Louis holds his hand and guides him to Louis' bedroom(their bedroom, actually, now that Niall thinks about it. Niall doesn't think he's slept once in 'his' room). They both crawl into the bed and just lay there in silence, cuddling. Niall can't be the first one to speak, can't bring himself to, not after what he did to Louis.

"So," Louis begins, tracing his fingers down Niall's back gently. "This has been a long time coming, I think."

Niall just nods, bringing his eyes up to meet Louis'.

"Don't know why we haven't just said it and saved us all this grief," Louis muses. "But I'm sure you already know I love you."

Niall feels his breath leave him.

"You love me?" Niall asks, surprised.

Louis pauses.

"Yeah. Didn't you know? Wasn't really trying to hide it."

Niall blinks a few times, fast.

"I knew you had some kind of feelings for me, but I didn't think you loved me," Niall whispers.

"How could I not love you?" Louis says fondly. "You're easy to fall in love with. I'm convinced Liam and Harry are half in love with you, too."

Niall giggles wetly.

"I'm sure t'is goes wit'out saying, but I love you, too," Niall tells him.

"Well, that's good," Louis hums. "Now, what do we do about it?"

"I dunno," Niall muses, playing along. "Maybe snog a bit, have brunch, snog some more, and invite Liam and Harry over for a bit? T'en snog when t'ey leave," Niall suggests.

"You have the best ideas, love," Louis says warmly.

"But only after I brush me teet'. I got sick last night, and I didn't have a toot'brush at Ed's," Niall tells him, pulling away.

Louis follows him to the bathroom as he brushes his teeth, standing behind him with his arms wrapped around his waist loosely as he rests his chin on Niall's shoulder. Niall sees his reflection flush when he sees how nice they look together.

"Why'd you get sick last night?" Louis murmurs.

Niall pauses before he leans forward to spit into the sink, a surprised moan spilling from his lips when his bum brushes Louis' half-hard cock. Niall immediately flushes darker at his embarrassing noise and wipes the toothpaste foam from around his mouth.

"Ignore that, yeah? You just look so good, I can't help meself sometimes. Why'd you get sick, Ni?" Louis murmurs.

"I, uh, kinda got drunk last night. Was really upset," Niall mumbles, turning around in Louis' arms.

Louis frowns.

"Love, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to hurt me," Louis reminds him.

"Yeah, but I still felt awful," Niall replies.

"Just forget about it, okay? Nothing to worry about," Louis insists. "Now, let's go back to bed and snog like teenagers, yeah?"

Niall sighs but nods, squealing a bit when Louis lifts him up and carries him back to bed, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss, their first. Louis only separates them to lay Niall down on the bed and just look at him for a bit. It's a bit embarrassing, but Niall's looking at Louis, too, so he supposes it's only fair.

Louis suddenly groans and climbs up to lay between Niall's spread thighs, pressing them together from groin to chest, and Niall can feel Louis' erection pressing into his hip, making him moan. Niall pulls Louis back down to kiss him, and is pleased when Louis licks into his mouth, finally letting their tongues meet.

Niall's cock begins to fill up from how well Louis kisses him, and feeling the older man's prickly beard scratch at his smooth face. Niall can't help the moan he releases when Louis shifts his hips a bit against Niall, trying to get a better angle to kiss him at, and Niall gets friction on his fully hard cock.

Louis just kisses him harder as he begins a slow, dirty grind against Niall that has the younger man keening into Louis' mouth.

Niall thinks faintly that he could come like this, grinding against his fit boyfriend(is that what they are? Boyfriends?) and making a mess in his pants like a teenager. He can't say he'd mind all that much. He's not even sure he can last all that long, either. He feels embarrassingly close already.

Niall whines into the kiss as his pleasure mounts, higher and higher, until he finally spills hot and sticky in his pants. He's sure there's a wet spot forming on his jeans, and maybe Louis can feel it, because he grinds harder against Niall, who moans from over-sensitivity, before he seems to come as well, biting at Niall's lips to keep his noises in.

When they both finally come down from their highs, Louis rolls off Niall and interlaces their fingers, panting to catch his breath.

"Well, that was unexpected," Louis comments off-handedly. "Can't say I minded, though."

Niall rolls on his side to press a kiss to Louis' scruffy cheek, just because he can.

"We need t' change. I can feel me cum drying on me skin," Niall mumbles, not really wanting to go through the effort of getting up and finding something else to wear.

"Yeah, maybe. Or we can just lay here and cuddle," Louis suggests.

Niall feels his nose scrunch up in distaste.

"Gross. No, I'm at least finding a wash clot' t' wipe meself down wit'," Niall tells him, sitting up and unbuttoning his jeans.

When the zipper goes down, Louis peeks open an eye and watches in rapt fascination as Niall shimmies his jeans down with just one hand before the faux blond has to let go of Louis' hand to pull them off. His pants go with the jeans, and Niall's left completely naked from the waist down. He decides to fix that by stripping off his t-shirt and throwing it off the side of the bed before he stands, making his way to the bathroom to find a wash cloth.

Once he's found one, he wets it with cool water, since he's still a bit over heated, and wipes himself of his drying cum, folding it over and handing it to Louis when he comes in behind Niall, also naked.

"You know, you've got a nice bum," Louis comments airily as he cleans himself, and Niall nearly chokes.

"Excuse me, Mr. Curves. I t'ink you're t'e one wit' t'e nice bum in t'is relationship," Niall tells him.

Louis perks up.

"Yeah? Relationship, you say?"

Niall rolls his eyes.

"Of course you would focus on t'at when I'm complimenting your bum. I knew you were a softie," Niall teases.

"Wasn't such a softie five minutes ago," Louis tell him, and.

"Oh, god. You need t' stop hanging out wit' Harry. His awful jokes are rubbing off on you." After a pause, during which Niall notices Louis perk up again, Niall continues, exasperated. "Yes, we just rubbed off on each ot'er, and t'at's a terrible joke. Don't even try it."

Louis pouts at him.

"Come on, I'm hilarious!" Louis whines, draping himself across Niall's back.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go and find somet'ing t' eat. You want a full English?"

Louis spins Niall around, kissing all over his face ridiculously.

"Best boyfriend ever!"

And, well, that answers that question. Niall is pleased with his ridiculous boyfriend.

~

When Harry and Liam come over, they don't hesitate to call them out on the love bites Niall has littering his neck.

"You finally confessed to each other?" Harry asks, a bit starry-eyed. He's always been a romantic.

Louis rolls his eyes and pulls Niall into his lap on the sofa when he walks back in with a bowl of crisps.

"Obviously. Took a fight and some time away from each other for it to happen, though," Louis answers, stealing a few crisps from the bowl in Niall's lap as they settle in to watch the footie game. It's not an important one, at least not to Louis or Niall, but they decided to watch it anyway, since there's fuck all else on.

"You had a fight? Really? You two agree on everything, act like the sun shines out of each other's arses. What could you possibly have a fight about?" Liam asks, sounding perplexed.

Niall shifts uncomfortably in Louis' lap, residual guilt flowing through him. Louis tightens his arms around Niall's waist.

"Niall wanted to play a joke on me, and it didn't turn out too well. It hurt both of us, but I don't care, since it finally got us together," Louis replies, being as vague as possible, probably knowing that Niall's still upset about it.

Neither Harry nor Liam bring it up again for their entire stay, and Niall's grateful.

"So, I wanna take you on a date, yeah? A proper date. Let me take you out, babe," Louis murmurs into his neck as he holds him around his waist from behind.

"A date?" Niall asks. "What, are you going t' rent out an entire restaurant again?"

Niall says it as a joke, but when Louis stays silent, Niall turns around in his arms, giving him a wide-eyed look.

"Lou, you can't just rent out an entire restaurant every time we go out t' eat!" Niall tells him.

Louis looks a bit guilty, and Niall's immediately suspicious.

"... What did you do?" Niall asks.

"I may have already booked a restaurant?" Louis says, sounding sheepish.

Niall just stares at him for a moment before he sighs.

"Fine. Just t'is once. After t'is, it's only places where we can get private boot's, okay?" Niall compromises.

Louis immediately brightens.

"Yes! Okay, go get dressed in something nice, okay, babe? It's not exactly formal, but it would be best if you didn't wear skinny jeans and a t-shirt, no matter how good you look in it," Louis tells him excitedly.

Niall looks at Louis, a bit dubious, but eventually nods, as he's already agreed to this.

~

"I can't believe you!" Niall squeaks, trying to sound angry and offended, but it comes out awed and enamored. "T'at place must have cost you at least a t'ousand pounds, Lou! Just in food, and not however much it cost to rent t'e place for an hour and a half!"

Louis' grin falters for a moment before it disappears.

"Did you hate it?" Louis asks, sounding a bit insecure, which. No.

"I loved it, Louis. Best first date I've ever been on. Hell, best date, period. I just hate wasting money, even if it's on good food. Keep in mind t'at I'm not used t' having a lot of money, okay? Excess is not somet'ing I've ever had," Niall explains quickly.

Louis frowns down at him.

"I just want you to have the best, baby. You deserve the best. If it makes you uncomfortable, I won't spend that much money on you very often, though," Louis offers.

Niall's lips turn down a bit in the corners before he sighs.

"Fine. You can only spend t'at much money on me on very special occasions, you hear me? Anniversaries and major holidays and birt'days. Not'ing more," Niall warns, trying to ignore the warm feeling in his chest when Louis' expression brightens at the word 'anniversaries'. "If you try it, I'll ban you from kissing me for however long I feel it's necessary."

Louis gasps, like he's been wounded.

"Niall, you can't do that! Now that I've had a taste, I can't just give it up!" Louis whines. "You wouldn't be so cruel to your boyfriend, would you?"

Niall pretends to think for a moment.

"No," Niall says, dragging out the word. When Louis looks up excitedly, Niall drops the bomb. "I'd go stay at Ed's for a week, or, if we're on tour, request me own room and give our manager and t'e front desk explicit instructions t' not give you me key card."

Louis stares at him in horror.

"You're the devil! Evil, I tell you! Wolf in sheep's clothing!" Louis exclaims.

Niall just laughs.

"Well, now you're stuck wit' me," Niall quips.

"Oh, you're going to regret this," Louis threatens, reaching over and tickling Niall.

The driver rolls up the partition when the howls of laughter turn into moans of pleasure.

~

When they finally get around to telling Simon, it's a bit underwhelming.

"I know," he says simply.

"You know?" Niall repeats dumbly.

"Yes. I know. I've known since the beginning, and I've put a lot of thought into it, so that's why I've allowed all of those gossip rags to write about your supposed relationship. If you two ever feel the need to go public with your relationship, feel free to come and discuss it with me," Simon explains, smiling a bit.

Niall blinks and turns to Louis, feeling a bit lost. Louis looks at him, mirroring his feelings.

"And you're just okay with this? Why'd I have to go through all of that shit when I wanted to come out, then?" Louis asks.

Simon sighs and rubs his forehead.

"At the time, society wasn't as progressive as it is now. I knew there would be a good bit of backlash if you were allowed to come out back then, and I didn't want that to break you. So, I made you hide it, but I didn't ask you to do a good job, since it wasn't meant to be permanent."

Simon pauses, looking for a moment like he's unsure of whether or not he wants to share what he has to say next.

"I will admit, though, the board had me wait longer than I'd have liked to let you come out because they were convinced record sales would plummet if the world knew twenty-five percent of One Direction was gay. If only they knew none of you are attracted solely to the fairer sex, and you're all in committed relationships. Within the band. I'm sure at least part of the fanbase would be happy," Simon muses. "Which is partially why I'm so open to you boys coming out about your relationship."

"Could you explain t'at for me, please?" Niall asks, feeling a bit dizzy with all the new information.

"Of course, Niall. Ever since we made the announcement that you were joining One Direction, the fans have been able to see just how much you two care for each other. We took an anonymous poll, and it said that an overwhelming seventy-six percent of fans would support you two if you came out."

Niall's grip on Louis' hand slackens in shock.

"S-Seventy-six percent? Really?" Louis asks, sounding a bit faint.

Simon nods.

"Even 'hardcore Larry shippers' are hard-pressed to deny the love and affection you two display," Simon confirms.

Niall feels his cheeks flush a bit, being reminded of the Larry shippers. He was one, once upon a time. Might still be, if his dreams have anything to say about it.

"Just give me a call any time you feel you want to come out, and we'll set it up. We're going to do right by you two. Harry and Liam have also been extended this offer, even though their approval rating is only fifty-three percent."

"Really? You're the best, Uncle Si!" Louis exclaims cheerfully, gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah. Try not to out yourselves before we get a chance to talk, yeah?" Simon says, waving Louis off.

"No promises," Louis grins.

When they walk out of the office, Niall stumbles, feeling a bit off-balance from everything that just happened. Louis catches him before he can hurt himself, pressing his front flush to Niall's back, ignoring the people milling about the hallway.

"You okay, babe?" Louis murmurs into his neck.

Niall shivers at the feeling of Louis' hot breath against his sensitive neck.

"Just a bit overwhelmed, I t'ink. Can we go home and cuddle before we meet up wit' Liam and Harry and Ed and Nick?" Niall asks.

"Of course, love. I'm always up for a cuddle with me favorite boy," Louis tells him fondly.

Niall flushes happily and presses back into Louis' hold.

"Let's go home, then."

~

The first time they have sex, it's the night before they go on tour.

They'd been talking for a while about it, because Louis wanted to take his time and not rush anything, or do anything Niall didn't like, and Niall had told Louis that he hated condoms and wanted Louis to come inside him. Needless to say, that particular conversation ended with Louis eating Niall out while the younger man whined around his cock.

They got the results back a few days ago, but they've been so busy preparing to go on tour that they haven't had time for much else but quickies, and Louis wants their first time to be special.

Tonight, though, is the night. Niall can feel it in his bones. Well, that, and Louis actually encouraged him to go hang out with Ed for the entire day, to have a lads day in(he never quite got over his jealousy and suspicion towards Ed after that disastrous dinner).

It's dark when Ed drops Niall off back home, and there's a mouthwatering scent wafting in the air when Niall walks in.

Niall follows his nose to the kitchen, where he finds Louis standing at the stove, messing around with something in a pot that smells a lot like potatoes, wearing nothing but a ratty pair of sweats Niall hasn't been able to talk him into throwing out.

"'M home," Niall greets, just standing in the doorway, watching as Louis jumps and whirls around.

"Christ, babe! Gave me a right scare. Welcome home," Louis responds, walking over to wrap his arms around Niall, but not before checking whatever's on the stove.

The younger man returns the hug and presses a light kiss to Louis' lips before pulling back with a smile.

"What's all t'is, t'en?" Niall asks. "It smells amazing."

"Careful. You're drooling, love," Louis teases.

Niall runs his hand over his chin to make sure, because it wouldn't be the first time, but no, there's nothing there. He pouts at Louis.

"I made us dinner," Louis announces proudly.

Niall blinks.

"And it smells t'is good? T'ought you burned everyt'ing," Niall asks, honestly surprised.

Louis pouts back.

"I'm not that bad." When Niall just looks at him incredulously, he admits, "May have had Harry over to help out a bit."

Niall just grins.

"Well, when's it gonna be done? I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Louis quips fondly. "But it should be done in about half an hour, I think."

Niall kisses Louis on the cheek before he lets him go.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, t'en. Call me when dinner's ready."

When Niall gets in the shower, he makes sure to clean himself thoroughly, especially his hole. He soaps up a finger and cleans around inside of himself as best he can, because he wants to be clean for Louis. He also takes the time to carefully shave around his cock and balls, and even in his crack, because that's not really attractive to him. Besides, Louis loved it when he went to eat Niall out sometime last month and found him cleanly shaved, which the faux blond had done on a whim, remembering how smooth and nice it had felt when he'd done it on a dare back in sixth form. Louis hasn't asked him to shave again, but Niall quite likes it, how sensitive he is everywhere, and he thinks it's going to become a thing for him.

When Niall finally steps out of the bathroom, he walks over to the dresser and pulls out an oversized t-shirt that he's pretty sure Louis stole from Harry at some point. With Louis wearing some old sweat pants, he figures he can dress comfortably as well. The shirt itself swallows him, ending just below mid-thigh, so Niall doesn't bother with putting on any pants. He's glad he was able to shave his legs over at Ed's earlier when the red-haired man had to run to the studio for a few hours(it had been more calculated than a whim, as Niall had brought his own razor, but he'd had to think on it for several hours before he came to a decision), because his legs look amazing, in his opinion. The black shirt against his pale skin isn't a bad touch, either, he thinks.

Niall makes his way to the kitchen to find Louis plating a second dish. Niall just leans against the doorway with his arms crossed and watches as Louis pulls down two wine glasses and pours some deep red wine into them.

"Babe!" Louis calls. "Dinner!"

"'M here," Niall answers.

"Great, can you- Fuck!"

Niall watches in amusement as Louis nearly drops the plate and wine glass he was holding when he catches sight of Niall. The wine almost splashes out of the glass, but Louis' able to steady it before that happens.

"Fuck, babe. You can't do that to me," Louis whines. "You're making it really hard to do this right. At this rate, dinner's gonna go cold and I'll end up fucking you on the dining room table."

"Yeah?" Niall breathes, already imagining it, but no. He's going to let Louis do this the way he planned. "Well, let's eat. You can have your way wit' me afterwards."

When Niall sets his own plate and glass down across from Louis' place setting, he bends over a bit, and delights in the strangled noise it tears from Louis' throat.

"Niall, are you naked under that shirt?" Louis gasps out.

Niall just twists around and winks before he takes his seat. He's not going to make this easy on Louis, even if he's letting him make it proper romantic.

When Louis sits down across from Niall, the faux blond can see he's hard in his sweats, and counts it as a point in his favor.

Niall takes a moment to look over what's actually on his plate and nearly has a heart attack.

"Is t'is- Is t'is chicken, stuffed wit' mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham, wit' a side of homemade mash?" Niall chokes out.

Louis looks up in interest.

"Yeah, actually. How'd you know?" Louis asks curiously.

"Lou, if you don't know just how far up your arse I was as a fan by now, you're in for a rude awakening. Besides, you've brought it up at least a half dozen times. How could I not know your first meal?" Niall tells him, a bit embarrassed.

Louis grins.

"Aww, you had a crush on me, babe?" Louis coos.

Niall feels his face burn.

"I'm gonna lock you out of our room tonight if you keep teasing me like t'is," Niall grumbles, though he's not serious.

Louis' eye widen dramatically.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, Tomlinson," Niall bluffs.

"Eat your damn food," Louis laughs.

And Niall does. He eats every last bite, and doesn't even wait for his mouth to be empty to tell Louis how good it is. Louis just watches him in amusement, as he usually does when Niall eats, and consumes his own meal in silence. When about three quarters of Niall's plate is gone, and there's more than a few seconds between bites, Louis finally speaks.

"So, how was your day with Ed?"

Niall pauses.

"Good. We finished writing a new song today. I really like it," Niall tells him after he swallows his mouthful.

"Yeah? What's it about?" Louis asks, interested.

"It's about us, actually," Niall admits. "It's called Friends."

"Really? Could you sing a bit for me?"

Niall shrugs.

"Sure. I'll just go grab me guitar real quick," Niall says as he stuffs his mouth with the rest of his food.

Louis just laughs.

"Slow down, babe. You're going to choke."

And, because irony exists, that's what Niall does. He beats on his chest with a closed fist until the blockage goes down. Niall pants for breath for a few seconds before he looks up with a grin.

"Whoops," Niall shrugs. "Be right back."

Niall stands up, pulling his shirt down unconsciously as he walks away. After he grabs his guitar from their bedroom, he makes his way back to the dining room to find Louis gathering their plates and empty glasses to take to the kitchen.

"Let's go to the living room, yeah?" Louis says as he walks back into the dining room.

Niall nods and leads the way to the living room, taking a seat on the sofa. He begins tuning his guitar, as it's a bit out of tune from the cold, even though he just played it earlier today. Louis comes in and sits in the arm chair to have a good view of him, Niall supposes.

Niall looks up at Louis when he finishes.

"T'ink Ed's gonna end up wit' t'is one. He sings it better t'an me," Niall admits.

Louis just hums and sits back, waiting for Niall to begin.

Niall starts singing first, and then he starts playing.

"We're not, no we're not friends,  
Nor have we ever been.  
We just try,  
To keep those secrets in a lie.

"But if they find out,  
Would it all go wrong?  
And heaven knows,  
No one wants it to."

Louis watches him with an odd look on his face, but he stays quiet.

"So I could take the back roads,  
But your eyes will lead me straight back home.  
And if you know me, like I know you,  
You should love me, you should know,

"Friends just sleep in another bed,  
And friends don't treat me like you do.  
Well, I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends won't love me like you."

Louis bites his lip as Niall stares at him while he sings, his eyes getting a bit shiny.

"We're not friends.  
We could be anything.  
If we try to keep those secrets safe,  
No one will find out,  
If it all went wrong,  
They'll never know what we've been through."

Louis' eyes widen, like he's just realized something, and looks like he desperately wants to say something, but holds himself back. Niall continues on, closing his eyes so he can't see any more of Louis' reactions.

"So I could take the back roads,  
But your eyes will lead me straight back home.  
And if you know me, like I know you,  
You should love me, you should know,

"That friends just sleep in another bed,  
And friends don't treat me like you do.  
Well, I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends won't love me like you.

"But then again,  
If we're not friends,  
Someone else might love you, too.

"But then again,  
If we're not friends,  
There'd be nothing I could do.

"And that's why friends should sleep in other beds,  
And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do.  
And I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you.

"No, my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends will never love me like you."

Niall opens his eyes as he removes his guitar, setting it gently against the coffee table, and they sit there in silence for a few moments before Louis' getting up and rushing over to Niall's side.

"Babe," Louis breathes as he pulls Niall into his lap. "What was all that about?"

Niall shrugs.

"Niall, are you having doubts about us?" Louis asks worriedly.

Niall just shrugs again, straddling Louis as he wraps his arms around the older man's neck and presses close. Louis' arms come up around Niall's back automatically.

"Ni, you know I'll always protect you, right? We don't have to come out if you don't want to, you know that, right?"

Niall pulls back to look at Louis.

"I know. I want t' do it, really, but what if t'at poll was wrong? What if t'ey hate us toget'er? Would it tear us apart if t'e world knew?" Niall whispers.

"Baby, no! I love you, and nothing's ever going to tear us apart, you hear me? Nothing," Louis tells him firmly.

Niall nibbles on his lower lip for a moment before he nods.

"Sorry if I ruined our night wit' my dumb insecurities," Niall mumbles.

"Niall, I'm glad it came up. And your worries aren't dumb. I'm going to tickle you if you say one more thing like that," Louis threatens.

"It's true, t'ough. I know you love me, and I was still worried like an idiot," Niall insists.

"That's it! I warned you!"

And with that, Louis proceeds to tickle him.

"No, stop! Please!" Niall howls as he squirms on top of Louis. "Mercy, mercy!"

"I'm not stopping until you promise not to call yourself mean things!" Louis yells over Niall's shrieks of laughter.

Niall tips over, trying to get away from Louis, but the older man just follows him down onto the sofa and continues tickling him.

"Okay, okay! I promise! Fuck!" Niall giggles.

Louis finally lets up with a grin.

As Niall pants for breath, he takes in the situation. Niall's flat on his back on the sofa, and Louis' kneeling between his spread thighs. Niall's shirt has come up a bit and he's completely exposed to Louis' gaze.

"Fuck," Louis curses. "Did you shave again, babe?"

Niall nods.

"Wanted t' be good for you," Niall replies.

When Louis meets his eyes, Niall sees that his pupils have dilated a bit with desire before Louis leans forward to press their lips together harshly. Niall moans, feeling Louis' stubble press into his skin from how hard they're pressed together.

By the time Louis pulls away, because Niall's too weak and needy to do it himself, they're both gasping for air.

"Let's go to bed, babe," Louis husks, his voice having lowered an octave or two. Niall's not sure, since his head's a bit fuzzy.

Niall whines and nods, allowing Louis to pull him up from the couch and into his arms. Once Louis has a steady grip on Niall, he walks them to their bedroom, pressing sharp, biting kisses to Niall's neck that have him grinding against Louis' stomach to get friction on his cock.

Once they make it, Louis gently lays Niall down and crawls on top of him, resuming their kiss from before as he runs his hands up Niall's rucked up shirt to his nipples. The younger man moans as Louis takes the hard nubs between his fingers and pinches them sharply before he lets go to rub them.

"Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Promise," Louis tells him, hooking his fingers under the hem of Niall's shirt and pulling it off with hardly any input, leaving Niall completely naked while Louis' still fully clothed.

It's an accident when it happens. He doesn't think before he says it.

"Daddy!"

Louis freezes, and that's when Niall realizes he fucked up. They stare at each other for a few seconds, Niall terrified that he read Louis wrong and that the Daddy thing is actually weird, but then Louis groans and grinds his clothed cock into Niall's thigh.

"Fuck, baby," Louis breathes. "You want that? Want me to be your Daddy?"

And Niall's nodding so fast he gets a bit dizzy.

"I can do that for you. You have to be good for Daddy, though, okay?"

"C'n be good for you, Daddy. Please fuck me," Niall whines.

Louis' hips jerk against Niall's thigh before he pulls away, and that has Niall reaching for him in protest.

"I'm just getting the lube and my kit off, okay, love? I'll be right back," Louis says gently.

Niall nods grudgingly, and when Louis turns his back to find the lube and take his clothes off, Niall sneaks his hand down to wrap around his cock, because it hurts from how aroused he is.

He gets so caught up in it, his eyes closing in pleasure, that he startles when he hears Louis speak.

"That's not being a good boy for Daddy," Louis says in a chastising tone.

Niall's eyes fly open as his hand darts away from his cock, feeling embarrassed when he sees Louis looking at him with disappointment.

"I should spank you for being bad," Louis says idly as he gets back on the bed, and Niall whimpers, nodding his head mindlessly as his hips push into the air, because he wants that. "But I won't, because I can't expect you to know the rules yet. Besides, this is special, yeah?"

Niall bites his lip to keep a sound in, and Louis tuts.

"Daddy wants to hear you. Don't keep your noises in," Louis tells him.

Niall releases his lip from between his teeth and moans.

"Yes, Daddy."

"Fuck, okay. Okay," Louis repeats, looking a bit lost and frantic before he seems to come to a decision. "I'm gonna open you up now, okay, baby? Gonna take me time and make sure you're ready to take me cock. How's that sound?"

Niall nods.

"Good. Sounds good, Daddy," Niall replies.

"Good. Spread your legs open for me. Let me look at you," Louis instructs.

Niall does as asked and opens his legs up, smiling when Louis chokes a bit.

"Shaved back here, too?" Louis asks, dragging a couple of dry fingers down his taint to his hole.

Niall shivers and nods.

"Wanted t' be good for you," Niall repeats.

"You are. So good for me, baby," Louis praises quietly as he coats his fingers in slick.

The first touch of Louis' cold finger to his hole makes Niall shiver and press down wantonly, and Louis doesn't reprimand him for it, so Niall presses back until his finger breaches him.

"Yeah? Wanna fuck yourself on Daddy's fingers?" Louis asks.

Niall nods and pushes back until Louis' entire finger fills him, and it's nice, but not nearly enough.

"More, please," Niall moans, rocking himself on the single finger.

"You'll take what I give you, and not anything more or less. Understand me, Niall?"

Niall whimpers but nods in understanding as he moves himself, creating a slick drag inside him that makes his cock blurt out pre-cum where it lies flat against his stomach.

Eventually, Niall groans in frustration.

"C'n I flip over, Daddy? Can't move much like this," Niall asks, looking up with frustrated tears in his eyes.

"Sure, baby. Hands and knees, yeah?"

Niall nods, but he still whines when Louis takes his finger out. He quickly moves into position, and then Louis' finger is at his hole again. Niall gasps when he sinks back and two stretch him open now, hanging his head as he pushes back on them impatiently, needing them in him, despite there being a small twinge of discomfort.

"Christ, babe. Proper gagging for it, aren't you?" Louis coos. "You look so good like this, fucking yourself like you can't even help it, like it's the most important thing in the world."

Niall moans and nods, his mouth gaping open as he tries to simultaneously fuck himself on Louis' fingers and breathe. Niall's not sure which one is more important right now.

When Louis starts twisting his fingers inside of Niall, the faux blond collapses onto his elbows, because it feels so good, and if Niall doesn't get Louis' cock in him soon, he may just cry.

He almost does when Louis wedges another finger inside of him, makes these choked little noises that have Louis groaning and leaning forward to rub his scruff against Niall's bare bum, and Niall needs to come. He needs it. But he wants to wait. He wants to come with Louis inside him.

It seems like forever before Louis pulls his fingers out of Niall, and the poor boy just cries and tries to push back on his fingers.

"I'm gonna fuck you now, okay, baby?" Louis soothes. "Want you on your back now. Don't want you on your knees too long."

Niall hiccups and nods, slowly rolling over, because now that he can think somewhat clearly, his knee is aching something fierce. When Louis sees the tears on his face, he immediately looks alarmed.

"Niall, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Niall sniffles and stares up at Louis with swollen, blurry eyes.

"Just feels so good, Daddy. Can't help it," Niall confesses. "Will you fuck me now?"

Louis watches him for a moment, not moving, before he smiles.

"Of course, baby."

Niall watches mutely as Louis slicks himself up and guides his cock to the younger man's swollen, stretched hole, and just pauses. Niall tries to wait, he really does, but finally, he cants his hips back for Louis' cock to finally slip inside him like he's been dreaming of for years.

"God, Niall, fuck!" Louis curses. It seems like he's completely lost his composure as he slides the rest of the way inside. "Feel so good around me, babe."

"Daddy," Niall whines, trying to push back more, but his knee twinges in pain.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. 'M gonna fuck you now, okay? I'm gonna make you feel good," Louis pants.

"Please," Niall moans.

And Louis does. He pulls out slow and gentle, like he's afraid he's going to break Niall, but when he thrusts back in, it's fast and hard. Niall's back arches as his arms reach up, his hands scrambling to find purchase on the headboard to hold on to.

With every thrust, Niall's cock slaps weakly against his stomach, and there's already a decent sized puddle of pre-cum pooling around his cock, aching for release. Niall won't touch it, though. He wants to come just from Louis fucking him, just from Louis being inside him.

When Louis tries to take Niall in hand, Niall shakes his head and explains that as best he can with his shattered mental state, and Louis just moans and redoubles his efforts, aiming directly for Niall's prostate. It just builds and builds from there, until the pressure is unbelievable, and it feels like he's stuck.

It's only when Louis speaks that he realizes he was waiting for permission.

"Feel so good around me, baby. Want you to come. Come for Daddy, yeah?"

Niall's vision whites out for a second as he finally reaches his peak. His cock pumps out strings of sticky white all over his stomach and chest, and there's just so much of it that Niall can scarcely believe it.

Louis groans as Niall tightens sporadically around him and thrusts even harder and faster than before, chasing his own high, and Niall shivers as Louis uses him to get off.

When Louis comes, it's a sight to behold. His hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat, and his eyes flutter closed while his mouth drops open into a silent 'oh'. His tanned skin has a faint red flush of exertion all over, and Niall swears he can feel Louis' hot cum being pumped into him.

When Louis almost collapses onto Niall's chest, his hips still pumping shallowly, lazily, Niall releases the headboard and wraps his shaky arms around Louis' sweaty back.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes just catching their breaths, and when Louis finally pulls out, he's completely soft. The older man rolls over to lay beside Niall, so the faux blond rolls over to hook his leg over Louis' hips, whining quietly when he feels Louis' cum start to drip out of him. Louis just worms an arm underneath Niall and rests it on his bum, playing with the spilled cum before pushing it back into Niall lazily.

Niall almost chokes.

"So, Daddy, huh?"

Niall feels his face flush even hotter and hides it in Louis' chest.

"What, you can tease me about my Daddy kink, but I can't tease you about yours?" Louis asks, sounding amused. "How did that even come about? Hm?"

"When I first said it, it was a joke, and t'en I really t'ought about it, and realized it was pretty fitting. Couldn't stop t'inking about it after t'at," Niall admits before he looks up at Louis with an entirely false innocent look. "When we were at t'e pub wit' Nick and you were drinking scotch, all I could t'ink about was calling you Daddy and begging for you t' fuck me t'roat." Which isn't entirely true. Niall had wanted to call Louis Daddy, but the mouth fucking fantasy had come a bit later.

Louis groans.

"Don't tell me that!" Louis whines. "I'm not a teenager anymore. I can't get it up so soon after, Niall."

Niall laughs and snuggles closer to Louis.

"I love you," Niall murmurs, feeling a bit sleepy now. "T'at was amazing."

"I love you, too," Louis replies, tilting Niall's chin up to give him a chaste kiss. "How's your knee feeling? Were you on it too long?"

"Yeah. 'M a bit sore, but I should be fine tomorrow. Should probably wear me brace, t'ough, just in case," Niall mumbles.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll be sure to be gentler next time," Louis promises.

"Okay," Niall agrees, his voice getting a bit soft around the edges with fatigue. "Sleep, now?"

"Don't you want to clean up first?" Louis asks, finally pulling his fingers out of Niall. The younger man had almost forgotten they were there.

"No, sleepy," Niall whines.

Louis just chuckles softly.

"You're going to regret it in the morning," Louis warns.

"Don't care. Sleep, Lou."

"Okay, okay. Don't say I didn't warn you. Goodnight, love."

"'Night."

~

Niall does, in fact, regret it in the morning, but that may just be because he and Louis forgot to set an alarm last night and woke up half an hour later than they'd planned, leaving next to no time for showers, putting their dirty bed sheets in the wash, and washing their dishes from last night before they leave for months on end.

"Fuck, Lou," Niall curses as he washes himself as quickly as possibly while Louis uses the spray to wash the shampoo from his hair. "Why didn't I remember t'e alarm last night?"

"Probably because I fucked your brains out," Louis mumbles, still half asleep and not nearly as frantic as Niall thinks he ought to be.

"Well, yeah, I s'pose t'at's true," Niall concedes. "Still, why didn't you set an alarm?"

"Probably because I fucked your brains out," Louis says, a bit more awake now as he steps closer to Niall, backing him into the wall of the shower.

"T'ere's no time for round two, Louis," Niall whines, wanting nothing more than for Louis to hold him up against the wall and fuck him. "We gotta hurry."

Louis frowns but backs off, letting Niall by to wash the suds from his body as Louis soaps his own up. They switch and Louis washes off his body and steps out, grabbing a towel as he does. Niall just lathers his hair with Louis' shampoo and listens as Louis trims his scruff a bit, humming a tune Niall vaguely recognizes as I Want, from Up All Night. When it gets to Niall's part, which he'd just been given a few days ago, even though they're not likely to sing it on tour, he sings the words along with Louis' humming, continuing on even when Louis pauses.

"You're gonna be great, babe," Louis tells him sincerely as Niall steps out of the shower, drying himself off.

"T'anks," Niall responds idly as he hangs the towel up and walks out of the bathroom naked to get dressed.

Louis follows after a moment, his facial hair neatly trimmed, and plasters himself to Niall's back as he rifles through the half-empty closet for something to wear.

"Love you," Louis murmurs into his neck, pressing a kiss there afterwards.

"Love you, too," Niall replies, leaning back into Louis embrace a bit as he pulls out a pair of black skinny jeans he hadn't packed the other day and a dark blue button-down.

Louis lets him go after a moment to pick out his own outfit, choosing a matching pair of black skinnies and a white t-shirt with black sleeves. Niall walks over to the dresser and takes a pair of black briefs and some white socks out before he picks up his brace and brings it all over to the bed. The younger man pulls on the underwear first, then the brace, then the jeans, which fit a bit snugly around his brace, and finally pulls the button-down around his shoulders, opting not to button it up for now as he walks back into the bathroom to put on his deodorant and brush his wet hair. Niall then blow-dries it and styles it up into a sort of half-quiff, not really that worried about how he looks since they're going to be on a plane to South America for the better part of the day. He has to look halfway decent for the paparazzi that will no doubt be swarming the airport, however.

Louis trails in a few moments later to fix his own hair, dressed, carrying his and Niall's toiletry bags, which Liam had convinced him to buy last week when he found out Niall didn't have one. Niall takes his with a quick peck on Louis' scruffy cheek and packs his deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, and hair styling products. It's a bit of a tight fit, with all of Niall's hair sprays and waxes and gels, but it fits after Niall rearranges them all neatly(and Niall takes out a few things he deems not actually necessary).

"'M going t' go take our bags downstairs and wash t'e dishes, switch t'e sheets t' t'e dryer," Niall tells Louis as he zips up his toiletry bag. "Bring whatever else you t'ink we need when you come down, okay?"

"Will do, love. I'll be down in a few minutes," Louis replies, meeting his eyes in the mirror with a smile as he turns on the hair dryer.

Niall smiles back absentmindedly before he makes his way downstairs, lugging the two suitcases and his toiletry bag. It puts a bit of strain on his knee, but Niall doesn't complain. Louis needs to get ready, too, and Niall shouldn't bother him with something like this.

On his way by the laundry room, Niall switches the sheets to the dryer, like he said he would, and just leaves it at that, starting on his way to the front door again. Once the bags are by the door and ready to be moved out to the car picking them up when it gets there, Niall leans down, resting against the wall, to rub the pain out of his knee for a moment. After the pain has died down a bit, Niall walks into the kitchen and starts the washing up. It doesn't take long before all of the dishes are clean, dried, and put away.

Niall walks over to the dining room table and sits down, crossing his arms on the table top and resting his head there. He just needs some time to slow down and wrap his head around the fact that this is real, that he's actually in One Direction, and that he's about to go on tour with his favorite band in the whole world. He doubts he'll be given much of a break once he walks out that door.

"Ni? I brought your laptop and our chargers! Have you finished with the di- What's wrong?"

Niall turns his head to the side and opens his eyes, meeting Louis' worried gaze.

"'M fine," Niall mumbles. "Just trying t' wrap me head around all t'is."

Louis sits down in the chair beside him and places a small, comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Niall. We can't entirely believe it ourselves, sometimes. A bit crazy, innit? To think that we get to travel all around the world, doing what we love, it's a bit overwhelming," Louis tells him gently.

Niall looks up in surprise.

"Really?"

Louis nods.

"Of course. We've always said we're just a couple of lads who got an amazing opportunity. Even after doing this for years, we're not used to everything that's become a part of our lives," Louis explains.

Niall bites his lip, unsure of what to say in response.

"You're gonna do great, babe. I'll be here for you every step of the way, and so will Liam and Harry. So don't worry about anything, okay, love?" Louis says warmly.

Niall lifts his head up from his arms and leans into Louis, just taking in his warmth.

Yeah, maybe everything will be okay.

~

When they arrive at their private waiting room at the airport, the first thing Harry does is leer at Niall and grin, which immediately makes Niall wary.

"Finally did it, didn't you?" Harry asks, waggling his eyebrows ridiculously, making it obvious what 'it' is.

Niall flushes and hides his burning face in Louis' neck as Louis' arm comes to wrap around his waist.

"Come on, Hazza, be nice. Don't tease our little Irish lad like that," Liam scolds Harry, even if Niall can tell he's faintly amused as well when the younger lad risks a look.

"Looks like it was pretty rough if you're wearing your brace, too," Harry comments, ignoring Liam.

Niall whines and pushes himself further into Louis' side.

"Not like I meant to," Louis replies, and when Niall peeks up, he sees the older man is frowning. "I'd never hurt Niall intentionally."

Niall pulls away from Louis to frown at him in return.

"You know I loved it," Niall tells him quietly. "I would have told you if it hurt too much. Besides, me knee's only a bit sore. It's no worse t'an if I'd been carrying somet'ing heavy for a while."

"I still should have been more considerate," Louis insists, lowering his voice in turn. "I shouldn't have had you on your knees for so long. It was irresponsible of me."

"Are we really having an arguement about t'e best sex of me life?" Niall asks incredulously. "Seriously, Lou. I'm fine."

Louis stares back, obviously unsure, before he sighs.

"Fine. Next time, though, you won't be on your knees at all, you hear me? I'm gonna take care of you properly," Louis promises, before he lowers his voice even further, so that only Niall has the chance to hear him. "You'll let Daddy take care of you, right?"

Niall bites his lower lip, feeling his face heat up a bit as he nods.

"Of course, Daddy. You always take such good care o' me," Niall whispers.

"Good," Louis replies, pecking Niall on the lips. "Now, how about a cuddle before our flight gets here?"

Niall agrees easily and settles down on the comfortable sofa in their private lounge to wait for their call.

~

Backstage is an absolute nightmare.

There's stage techs running around, and Harry's changing again while Louis' getting his makeup retouched because he fucked it up when he got into a water fight with Harry earlier, and Liam's getting his hair quiffed, and Niall's going to be sick.

Niall doesn't know why he thought this was a good idea. There's too many people around, and the walls are closing in, and he's sweating through his nice clothes, and he's- He can't breathe. He's having a panic attack in this tiny, single-service toilet he locked himself in.

Niall's breath comes in short, stuttering gasps as his head spins and his stomach wrenches in nausea. Niall crawls over to the toilet, just to be safe, and he's glad he did when he immediately throws up. All he can hear is the sound of his own racing heart, his retching noises, and the few gasps of air he can get in around them.

When Niall's emptied his stomach, he lays his overheated forehead on the cool porcelain of the toilet seat and tries to steady his breathing, but it feels like it's pointless. There are black spots dancing in his vision, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Niall knows he's about to pass out.

"Niall?" comes a voice, knocking on the locked door. "Are you in there?"

"Louis," Niall whimpers.

"Babe? What's wrong?" Louis asks, sounding concerned as he jiggles the doorknob. "Let me in!"

Niall crawls over to the door, sure that he'll pass out if he tries to stand, and unlocks the door, making sure he's out of the way of the door. Louis doesn't waste a moment in swinging the door open and falling to his knees beside Niall, gathering the younger man into his arms.

"What's wrong, love? Why are you so worked up?" Louis asks quietly.

Niall wraps his arms around Louis, breathing in the scent of hair product, makeup, and his cologne.

"I don't- T'is is a bad idea," Niall gasps out, sniffling. "'M gonna mess up, and t'ey're gonna hate me."

"What? Love, no! Don't say that! Remember what I always tell you? You belong in One Direction. If any of the fans can't accept that, I don't want them! How can you say you like a band if you don't like all of the members? That's fucking bullshit!" Louis tells him, rubbing his thumbs across Niall's cheeks, and it's only then that the faux blond realizes he's crying.

"But-But what if I mess up?" Niall asks, staring at Louis.

"So what? We mess up all the time. Not all of those lyric changes are for fun, love. Sometimes, we genuinely forget them. We even forget the melodies sometimes, which is why we experiment with changing them so often. You just have to push through and make it seem natural. It doesn't matter if you mess up, babe. We'll back you up. These shows are supposed to be fun, you know?" Louis replies, and somehow, Niall feels a lot better.

"Promise?" Niall asks, just to be sure.

"Promise," Louis tells him sincerely. "All three of us have your back, always. You'll get used to it, more or less, after a while. Just try to relax and have fun. We don't take these shows too seriously, so you shouldn't either. I'm here for you, love."

Niall sniffles again and nods.

"Okay," Niall murmurs. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, let's get you cleaned up and have Lou fix you up, yeah? We're due on stage in ten minutes," Louis reminds him, helping the younger man stand.

"T'ink she'll be mad at me for ruining me makeup?" Niall asks.

Louis just laughs.

~

Their first show is amazing, and so is their second and third and sixth and fifteeth. All of their shows have been amazing, in Niall's opinion.

The fans have been overwhelmingly supportive, and they always scream pretty loud when they play one of the songs Niall wrote. It's a better response than Niall could have ever hoped for.

They have a short break now, as it's half-way through their tour, and it's just for five days, but Niall and Louis are flying back to the UK to spend the weekend with Louis' family. Niall's nervous, since he's only ever talked to the Tomlinsons on Skype, and he's never met them in person, even though he and Louis have been dating for close to six months now, and have known each other for nine months. They just never got around to it, with how busy they've been, but now seems like as good a time as any.

"They're gonna love you, babe," Louis tells him, glancing over at him when they reach a stop sign. He'd called for a rental car to meet them at the airport when they arrived so that they had transportation for the weekend.

"I already know t'at, but I'm still nervous," Niall replies.

"Why? Me mum loves you, all me siblings love you, and Dan's quite fond of you as well. Literally nothing can happen for them to hate you."

Niall bites his lip, unsure of how exactly to explain how he feels.

"I don't know how t' explain it, Lou. I know t'ey all like me, but I still have t'is anxiety in me chest about it. I just want t' make a good first impression, I guess. Want t'em t' t'ink I'm wort'y o' t'eir son and brot'er, you know?" Niall says, his accent becoming a bit thicker with nerves.

Louis looks over at him with a frown when they come to a traffic light, a frustrated expression on his face.

"I wish I knew what to do to help you, love. I know they'll love you just as much as I do, but I know just saying that isn't going to change how you're feeling." Louis pauses as the traffic light turns green and starts moving again down the road. Once he reaches a point where he doesn't have to concentrate so much on driving, he continues. "I just hate feeling so helpless."

Niall considers joking about the fact that of course Louis hates feeling helpless, that he has a Daddy kink, after all, but decides against it. Now's not the time or place.

"'S okay, Lou. Just having you t'ere wit' me will help," Niall tells him, wanting to grab Louis' hand and squeeze it in reassurance, but he currently has both hands on the steering wheel, like he always does when he's not fiddling with one of the levers or the gear shift.

Instead, Niall settles for leaning over the center console and pecking the older man on the cheek, feeling his rough facial hair rub slightly against his lips and general mouth area. Louis glances at Niall from the corner of his eye and smiles at him genuinely, even if it's a bit small with worry.

Niall could take on the world with Louis by his side.

~

Contrary to what Niall expected, the visit went well. Extremely so, even.

Jay had been lovely, an absolute doll, inviting Niall in with a big, long hug, smelling faintly of vanilla and jasmine and baby powder. Louis had hovered a bit all day, watching Niall as if to make sure he didn't have a panic attack, which the faux blond appreciated, even if it wasn't strictly necessary. By the end of that first night, Jay and him were fast friends. Niall hadn't missed the look of pride and happiness in Louis' sleepy eyes when he'd joined the older man in his childhood bed and told him quietly that he loves Louis' mum.

All of Louis' siblings had been lovely as well. Lottie takes after her brother in the quip department, always ready with a snappy response that had Niall in stitches more times than he could count. Fizzy is a bit sweeter and softer than Lottie, though by no means would she back down from an arguement or debate, Niall found. Daisy and Phoebe are adorable and energetic like most kids their age, and had been constantly asking Niall if they could paint his nails and do his makeup, which he'd agreed to, if only because he has a weakness to children and can't say no to them. Ernest and Doris are still young, haven't grasped their words yet, but Niall had brought soft, plush toys for them, and they seemed to love them. They always seemed to be holding them whenever Niall had seen them.

Dan and he got on nicely, as well. He'd been absent that first day, as he'd been gone on a business trip, but when he'd come back, he'd wrangled Niall into a discussion on footie, which Niall wasn't going to complain about. They bonded over it, and Niall had babbled on and on about Derby while Louis watched him fondly, holding his hand beside him on the sofa.

So, over all, it went much better than Niall had even hoped for.

"God, Lou, can I keep t'em?" Niall mumbles into Louis' chest from where they're cuddled up in their room, having decided to spend a couple of days back home before they go back on tour.

"You can keep them for as long as you want, love," Louis replies, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he runs his fingers lightly down Niall's spine.

Niall shivers and arches his body closer to Louis, feeling himself start to chub up in his pants, embarrassingly quick. While at Louis' mum's house, they'd not had time for more than a quick wank in the shower, a blow job if they were exceptionally lucky, and it had been stressful. Now that they're alone, truly alone, for the first time in months, Niall can't help but bite his lip as he looks up at Louis.

Louis' already looking down at him, and when he seems to register the look on Niall's face, whatever that may be, his fingers pause in their idle movements before sliding down to Niall's bum, dipping under the loose joggers he's wearing to grasp him through his boxers. Niall's torn between pushing forward to grind against Louis and pushing backward to get more of Louis' hand on his bum.

"Yeah?" Louis murmurs.

Niall just nods helplessly.

"Please."

Louis' tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"You want to ride me, baby? Can your knee take it?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, please, Daddy," Niall says breathlessly.

Louis groans and rolls them over so that Niall is trapped underneath the older man, quickening the faux blond's breathing in arousal rather than panic. Louis brings him into a heated kiss as he grinds their hips together, moving in slow figure eights.

They don't always play like this. They don't always have time for more than a quickie. But it's always just as good as the first time every time they can play.

"Fuck, babe, your mouth," Louis moans out, rubbing his scruff against the line of Niall's jaw lightly.

"Please, Daddy. Wanna feel you," Niall begs, his hips jerking up.

"Be patient, love," Louis chastises, pulling away to look at Niall. "We finally have time to play, and I'm going to spend hours taking you apart before I let you ride me."

A long, high noise escapes Niall's throat at that, his hips jerking against Louis'.

"Please. Want it," Niall begs.

"I'll give you what you need, baby. Just let Daddy take care of you."

~

By the time Niall and Louis meet back up with Harry and Liam in America, somewhere on the west coast, Niall has a vast assortment of love bites that he's sure Lou is going to scold him for and Harry is going to tease him mercilessly for. Louis at least seems quite proud of how dark and how many love bites he's made on Niall's pale skin, often brushing his fingers against them and pressing down on them idly. Niall, himself, is rather pleased with them. They make him feel like he belongs to Louis, in every sense of the word, and that makes him feel safe and loved.

When they land in America, though, it's not to Lou's scoldings or Harry's teasing remarks. It's to paparazzi shouting questions about the man from Mullingar who recently stepped up and gave an exposé on Niall.

Niall's confused, because he's not quite sure what they're talking about, but when he and Louis arrive at their hotel, he finally gets a chance to boot up his laptop and search what the hell is going on.

He immediately wishes he didn't.

Once he's read through several versions of the same article, Niall closes the laptop screen as calmly as he can, so as not to alert Louis that anything is wrong, and stands from the bed.

"Alright?" Louis asks, looking up from his phone.

"Yeah. I- Yeah. I'm going t' take a shower. You can go ahead and go t' bed if you want," Niall mumbles, trying his best to keep his tone even.

"We just showered this morning, babe. Is something wrong?" Louis asks, sounding concerned and puzzled in equal parts.

"Everyt'ing is fine. Just want a shower, 's all," Niall replies, moving towards the bathroom slowly.

Niall doesn't give Louis a chance to respond as he immediately shuts the bathroom door behind him and turns the shower on, removing his clothes as an after thought. He doesn't even wait for the water to warm before he steps into the freezing spray, flinching for a moment at the cold before he relaxes into it. He washes his hair with the provided shampoo and conditioner mechanically before he washes his body, the water having turned scalding at this point, but Niall's past the point of feeling anything.

Once he's clean, Niall just stands there in the shower, staring at the wall. He doesn't know how much time passes before he realizes he's curled up on the floor of the shower, the water having gone cold again. He's not sure what made him stir until he hears a knock.

"Ni? Everything okay? You've been in there a while," Louis calls over the water pounding down on and around Niall.

Niall can't even find the words to answer, so he stays silent, staring at the water droplets as they slip down the glass shower door.

Suddenly, the door slides open and Louis appears.

"Fuck, what- Niall, what's wrong, baby? What happened? Speak to me, love, please!" Louis says, but Niall can't. He can't.

He just stares up at Louis blankly, water splashing into his eyes, and that seems to send Louis into a panic.

"Niall? Baby? What's wrong? Tell me what I can do to help. Please!" Louis half-shouts, which finally gets a reaction from Niall.

"Please! No more! Don't hurt me, please! Please, not again! Please, Damian, let me go!" Niall whimpers, feeling tears prick his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the slick tiled floor of the shower.

All motion above Niall halts. At least, that's what it sounds like. Niall's eyes are clenched shut in fear, and he's not about to open them any time soon.

The water turns off, and for the first time, Niall fully understands who he's talking to when Louis speaks again.

"Babe, who's Damian?" Louis asks, sounding fearful.

Niall peeks up an eye to see Louis staring down at him, looking as scared as he sounded.

"Lou," Niall chokes out, feeling his hot tears spill down his frozen cheeks, leaving burning trails.

"I'm here, babe. Talk to me. What do you need?" Louis says softly, reaching forward hesitantly to push back Niall's bangs that are plastered to his forehead. "Jesus! You're freezing!"

"I- Will you hold me and- and sing to me?" Niall asks, feeling his lower lip wobble from trying to hold back the tears, ignoring Louis' last sentence.

"Of course, baby. Let's get you to the bed, yeah?" Louis murmurs, sliding one hand under Niall's knees and one hand under Niall's back, picking him up and cradling him in his arms like an overgrown baby with minimal strain, but it's exactly what Niall needs right now.

Louis walks them back to the bed and gently lays Niall down like he's made of glass before climbing in beside him and fitting his arms around the shivering, wet, naked man. Louis grabs the end blanket at the foot of the bed with his toes and pulls it up so he can wrap it around them both to alleviate Niall's shivering.

Louis then sings soft lullabies to Niall, like he requested. They've done this once before, when Niall'd had a severe panic attack after being mobbed and his claustrophobia had kicked into over drive, and the only way to calm him down was Louis singing to him and holding him.

By the time Niall's breathing normally again and his tears have dried up, it's ten in the evening.

"Babe?" Louis whispers.

Niall hums in response, feeling lethargic.

"Can we talk about this?" Louis asks uncertainly.

Niall stiffens in Louis' arms, reminded just what caused him to spiral, before he looks up at Louis hesitantly.

"I don't- I've never talked about it before," Niall admits, biting his lower lip.

"We don't have to talk if it makes you uncomfortable or panicky, but just know that I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what, okay?" Louis murmurs, rubbing his fingers through Niall's tangled hair.

The faux blond continues worrying his lip for a moment before he comes to a decision.

"You remember how when we landed, t'e paparazzi were asking me about t'at man from Mullingar?" Niall begins, wanting to look away from Louis in shame from what he's about to tell the older man, but he forces himself to keep his gaze firmly locked with Louis'.

"Yeah, I do." After a moment, Louis adds, "Were they talking about Damian?"

Niall's breath catches in his throat at the name, but he forces himself to swallow and breathe through it.

"Yeah," Niall confirms, his mouth suddenly dry. "I- I have a bit of history wit' him."

"Not good history, I'm guessing," Louis mutters grimly.

"No, not good history," Niall agrees. "Very bad history, even. It all started after I was sent home from T'e X Factor. T'ere was a boy I was friends wit' named Damian. He was- He was twenty-four at t'e time. I guess you could say he was a man, but he was always nice to me."

Louis looks a bit apprehensive, his face drawn like he can already see more or less where this is going, and it's not good. Niall continues.

"He was my neighbor. I'd known him since I was a kid, and he would watch me sometimes when me parents went out and Greg was busy or gone or moved out. He was- I really liked him. Sort of like anot'er older brot'er, I guess."

Niall takes a moment to breathe and prepare himself for the next bit. That would be the hardest.

"When I turned seventeen, Damian asked me if I wanted t' go on a trip wit' him t' t'e cabin he had out in t'e country. Like a lads camping trip, only wit'out t'e tents. My parents didn't have a problem wit' it. We went on Spring Break, planned t' spend t'e full nine days toget'er. It was t'e worst nine days of me life."

Louis' arms tighten around Niall.

"He didn't...," Louis whispers in horror.

Niall finally turns away.

"When we got t'ere, it was getting dark, so we broke out t'e alcohol. Damian gave me enough beer and hard liquor t' make me pass out, and when I woke up, I was tied t' t'e bed, naked." Niall hears Louis make a soft noise, but doesn't look back up.

"He- He told me t'at he was angry I'd left him. He told me t'at I shouldn't have tried out for T'e X Factor, and t'at I was his. He- He told me t'at I had t' be punished for trying t' abandon him. He- Oh, God, Lou, he- he raped me."

Niall feels Louis' body go rigid at that, and Niall has tears streaming down his face again.

"I don't kn-know how many ti-imes he r-raped me, but- But I know it hurt a lot. He- Damian once cau-caught me trying t' escape when- when he'd gone out and he kicked me. He dis-dislocated me knee and didn't re-re-set it until after he'd ra-raped me again. After t'at, he- he would dislocate me kn-knee if I did somet'ing he didn't- didn't like, and he'd leave it t'at way for longer and lon-longer. It was- It was awful! I wanted t' die!" Niall sobs.

Louis seems to finally snap out of whatever daze he was in while listening to Niall and rubs his hand down the Irish man's back to soothe him.

"Did you report him?" Louis asks, his voice sounding strangely hoarse.

Niall looks up and sees that Louis is crying, too, and that's- that's not right. Niall's never seen Louis cry, ever. His eyes watery? Sure. But Niall's never seen tears spill down Louis' face before, and now he's crying because of Niall.

"N-No. He told me t'at if I told anyone, he'd- he'd hurt me again," Niall whispers.

"Oh, babe," Louis whispers back, wiping Niall's cheeks softly.

"It's- It's okay. I- I'm happy now. I'm a part of me favorite band in t'e world and I have an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends and- And I wouldn't change t'at for anyt'ing in t'e world," Niall tells him, giving the older man a genuine, if wobbly, smile.

Louis presses their lips together gently for a moment before he pulls away with a tiny smile of his own.

"I love you," Louis murmurs.

"I love you, too, Louis," Niall returns.

"I'm going to nail this bastard to the wall for you. He's going to go away for life, I promise you," Louis vows, a hard look in his eyes that Niall's unfamiliar with.

Niall bites his lip.

"Lou, it's fine. I don't care any more. He can't hurt me anymore, not wit' all of our security and my big, strong boyfriend," Niall tells him, before he grows more serious. "It would be a lot of effort t' charge him, and t'e whole world would know, Lou. I don't want t'e world t' know all t'at. Besides, I- he can't shame me any more t'an he already has, not wit'out revealing what happened. If he did, he'd get caught, because I was a minor when it happened."

Louis frowns at him unhappily before he sighs in defeat.

"I'm not happy," Louis tells him. "But I won't do anything you don't want me to. I just really wish I could do something for you, babe."

"I know, Lou. I know. I'd let you if t'ere was a way to keep it quiet, but t'ose t'ings are public record. I t'ought about it when I moved to London, did all kinds of research, but by t'at point, it had been too long to hope for a anyt'ing. Just... Just try to forget it, okay? We'll- We'll call Simon in t'e morning to see if t'ere's anyt'ing he can do, yeah?" Niall tells him.

"Yeah, okay. I haven't read what this shithead has said about you, but I'm sure it'll make me want to spend life in prison happily," Louis mutters, glowering at something over Niall's shoulder.

Niall frowns and brings his hands up to hold Louis' scruffy cheeks.

"I'll be okay. We'll be okay. Just hold me tonight, and we'll figure all t'is out in t'e morning, okay?" Niall murmurs, seeing the irony of the situation. He's having to comfort Louis after a painful reminder from Niall's past showed up unexpectedly. Irony at its finest.

Louis takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly through his nose.

"Yeah, okay. Love you," Louis whispers.

"I love you, too."

~

Turns out, Simon's just as furious as Louis was.

"We have The Mirror on payroll, as well as The New York Times, and they still printed this shit," Simon rants, sounding like he's pacing. "I ought to have them cut off for this!"

Niall blinks over at Louis, who's seated across from him on the bed, listening to Simon lose his cool.

"I- Is there anyt'ing we can do, sir? Get t'em t' stop talking about it, or put out a statement or somet'ing?" Niall asks, when it sounds like Simon is pausing for breath.

"We'll fix this, Niall, I assure you. I will personally do it, if I have to. I'll call back when I have it figured out. Be expecting a call in another hour or so," Simon replies, sounding a bit calmer than before.

"Yes, sir. T'ank you, sir," Niall tells him, before the call ends.

"Well, I guess that's that," Louis says, sounding a bit shell-shocked.

"I guess so," Niall returns, sharing the sentiment.

"I've never heard him so worked up before, even when Zayn started saying all that shit about finally making real music," Louis tells him.

"Really?" Niall asks, surprised. "Why do you t'ink t'at is?"

"Probably half in love with you, too, love," Louis replies, grinning over at Niall.

Niall just rolls his eyes and tackles Louis into the mattress, being careful not to knee him in his bits. He'll need those later.

When Niall's finally settled on top of Louis, he's straddling the older man's waist, his bum resting against his pelvis.

"We have at least an hour until Simon calls back. What should we do, I wonder?" Niall muses, going so far as to tap his chin with one finger like a cliché twat.

Louis' hands come up to grasp at Niall's hips, rubbing small circles into his exposed hip bones.

"I have a few ideas," Louis replies, looking up at him with mischievous eyes.

"Oh, yeah?" Niall goads. "Like what?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe I could call me mum and you could read your fanfiction?" Louis suggests.

"Lou!" Niall gasps in embarrassment.

"Kidding, love. I'm going to make sure the only name you can remember is mine," Louis promises hotly as he rolls them over so he's between Niall's spread legs, hovering over him.

And he holds true to that promise, making Niall come twice with Louis' name on his lips.

~

When Simon calls back, it's with better-than-bad news.

"You'll have to give an interview addressing the matter, Niall. I don't know your exact relation to this man, but I've gathered enough from Louis' hatred for him to know it's not a good one. I've set up an interview with Nick Grimshaw to make this all a bit easier on you," Simon tells him, sounding a bit apologetic.

Niall feels cold at having to come clean, but he just answers, "Yes, sir. T'ank you, sir," in a slightly flat tone that had Louis looking at him worriedly.

"I know you just got back to the States, but you're going to have to fly back to London after tonight's show to have your interview. You can bring Louis along, if that'll make you feel better. I'm sorry, Niall," Simon says, before he ends the call.

After a few moments of Niall just staring at the phone, Louis speaks up.

"What did he say?" Louis asks.

"I have an interview wit' Nick tomorrow morning t' clear everyt'ing up," Niall mumbles. "After tonight's show, I have t' catch a plane. He said you can come wit' me if you want."

"Of course I want to, baby. I'm not gonna let you do this alone," Louis hurries to say. "Hey, look at me. Ni, look at me, babe." When Niall does, Louis continues. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'll be by your side the whole time. I promise."

Niall bites his lower lip and nods hesitantly.

"Love you," Niall whispers.

"Love you, too. Always," Louis promises.

~

Niall feels dead on his feet when he comes in to BBC Radio 1 for the interview with Nick the next morning, Louis right by his side. He didn't get to sleep on the plane until an hour before they landed, and Niall's sure it hurt more than it helped.

Louis, perfect boyfriend that he is, got Niall a coffee without a single complaint, even though he swears up and down that it's just dirty water that should not be consumed. Niall had thanked him with a chaste peck on the cheek, not caring about the wide-eyed Starbucks cashier staring at them through the drive-through window. He's too tired and stressed out to care about anything other than his coffee, his boyfriend, and his upcoming interview about his rapist of an ex-neighbor.

Now, about a half hour later, Niall feels a bit more awake and clear-headed. Louis' doing his best to keep him calm, but there's only so much the older man can do.

"Niall! Hey, how are you holding up?" Nick asks as he welcomes them into the sound room. "I heard this is your second flight in two days."

"Yeah. It's pretty shit, if I'm honest, but you have t' do what you have t' do," Niall grumbles.

Nick opens his mouth to say something before he pauses, seeming unsure for a moment.

"What?" Niall asks.

"I- This is about that man from your hometown, right? How come- How come I've never heard about him?" Nick asks hesitantly.

Niall closes his eyes and digs the palms of his hands into them.

"It's because he hurt me when I was younger, and I wanted to forget about him," Niall replies lowly.

"Hurt you? Wait, isn't he seven or eight years older than you? How did he hurt you?" Nick asks, sounding a bit panicked and angry and horrified already.

Niall looks up with a grim smile.

"Take a guess, mate. I was seventeen."

"Oh, god, Niall...," Nick whispers.

Niall shrugs helplessly.

"Can't change t'e past," Niall tells him with a sad smile.

"Didn't you- You moved to London when you turned eighteen, didn't you? How long was it going on?" Nick whispers, looking faintly sick.

"It only happened a few times. Me parents didn't go out much, and I only left t'e house for work or school. Never got me license, so I always needed a ride everywhere," Niall replies. "If I had to go t'rough t'at any more t'an I did, 'm not sure I'd be here."

Niall gives another sad smile and shrugs.

"Oh, babe," Louis whispers, tightening his grip on Niall's hand.

"I'll be okay. After t'is, I never want t' talk about him ever again," Niall says.

Louis gives him a sad, pained smile as he kisses Niall's hand, still entwined with his own.

"I love you, baby," Louis murmurs.

"I love you, too," Niall replies, giving the older man a small, wobbly smile.

~

When they're finally given the cue to start The Breakfast Show, Niall takes a deep breath and squeezes Louis' hand tight, the man having refused to leave Niall's side when a sound tech tried to make him leave.

After Nick's intro, and the few minutes he takes to talk about other things, like the weather and the traffic and other news in the media, he finally introduces Niall.

"Now, The Breakfast Show has a very special guest this morning. He's our favorite Irish lad from One Direction, Niall Horan! Say hello, Niall."

"Hey. Good morning, everyone," Niall says into the microphone.

Louis makes an indignant noise and Nick rolls his eyes.

"Right, right. This Louis Tomlinson bloke is here, too. Say hello, dickwad," Nick teases.

"Love you, too, Nicholas," Louis snorts. "Morning, everybody. Hope you're having a better morning than us."

"And why would you be having a bad morning?" Nick asks, even though he knows why.

"Niall and I just got back to London an hour and a half ago after flying out to California the day before yesterday. We'll have to fly back right after this to make it to our next show in time, too," Louis explains easily.

"Oh? Sounds rough. Why would you come all the way back to London so soon?" Nick asks.

"That would be for Niall to answer, I think. Anything I say will get graphic and bleeped out for seconds at a time, so I'll leave that to him," Louis jokes, though Niall knows he's serious from the way his smile turns sharp and his hold on Niall's hand gets a bit tighter.

"Right. Always did have a mouth on you. Now, care to explain, Niall?"

Niall takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he answers.

"Yeah, right. So, t'ere was an article about me recently from a man called Damian, and I'd like to clear some t'ings up," Niall starts, voice shaking slightly.

"Oh, right, I remember reading that. I don't think anyone believes a word of it," Nick says. "Who could, with a face like yours?"

Niall laughs uneasily and bites his lip.

"So, what would you like to start with?"

After a moment of thought, Niall answers, "Well, t'e bit about me defacing private property was entirely false. I got into trouble a lot in school for not paying attention, but I never got in trouble wit' t'e law."

"Hmm, head in the clouds, babe?" Louis teases.

Niall smiles a small but firm and genuine smile.

"Yeah, I guess you could say t'at," Niall agrees.

"What else?" Nick prompts.

"Well, t'e bit about coming onto him when I joined One Direction is wrong. We knew each ot'er when I was younger, but I have quite happily not seen him since I moved t' London," Niall replies. After a pause, Niall adds, "I also never came onto him before I left for London. Wouldn't have been legal, now would it?"

If that comes out a bit sharp and pointed, what's Niall supposed to do about it?

"Right," Nick replies, with the same pointed tone. "Anything else?"

After a moment, Niall answers.

"Yeah. T'e bit about me being a slag is false. I've only ever slept wit' five people in me life, and I was in long term commited relationships with t'e last four," Niall says.

"Oh? What about the first?" Nick asks, his voice confident, but his face uncertain.

"Oh, he knows who he is," Niall spits out. "If I ever see him again, me b- certain people wouldn't let him leave wit'out a firm reminder to never even glance in me direction."

Niall had stumbled, almost mentioned Louis, but he thinks he caught himself in time to not give himself away.

"Your b-? Your boyfriend?" Nick asks, perking up.

Niall glances at Louis, who mouthes at him, 'Want to do it?'

After a moment of thought, Niall nods with a brighter smile than he's had in days.

"And who might that be?" Nick continues, catching the exchange.

"That'd be me," Louis answers. "If I ever see the bastard so much as look at me boy, I'll give him what's coming to him."

Niall beams over at Louis, squeezing his hand in relief to finally be out and happiness that his boyfriend loves him enough to risk a battery charge against the man who stole his virginity in the worst way.

~

When Niall and Louis land back in California that evening, they don't have time for much else than preparing for their show. They get a few congratulations from the crew when they have a spare moment, and Harry and Liam pull them into a cuddle session for as long as they can hide from Lou, who gives her own congratulations after scolding the four men.

By the time they go up on stage, Niall's running off of caffeine and happiness and love and excitement. He's absolutely exhausted, since he never sleeps well on planes, but he's still riding the high of finally being out in his relationship with Louis. Niall's not sure how the fanbase is taking it, but he's not too worried about it right now. He's too exhausted to care about more than giving the fans the show they paid for and deserve.

It's about halfway through their set, having a bit of a chat between songs, when Niall sees it.

'Thank you for coming out, Nouis!'

After that, Niall sees signs everywhere.

'Shouldn't have let you meet me mum'  
'Me favorite Irish band mate'  
'Niall, don't forget where you belong: Louis' arms'

It's the last one that makes Niall burst into happy tears, and Louis, ever the vigilant boyfriend, is by his side in a moment.

"What's wrong, babe? What's got you all weepy?" Louis asks, not even bothering to take the microphone away from near their mouths.

 

"'M just happy, Lou," Niall babbles through his tears. "Love you so much."

"Love you, too, babe," Louis murmurs, bringing the crying lad into a hug right there on stage, because they're allowed to do that now.

The screams, which had been steadily growing louder the longer their interaction went on, are almost deafening when Niall leans in to give Louis a peck on the lips before he turns to address the band as a whole.

"If it's okay, I'd like t' request a song, lads," Niall tells them, wiping the tears from his face.

"And what song is that, Nialler?" Liam asks, throwing his arm around Harry's waist. The faux blond has a feeling it's not going to be long until they come out as well.

"Could we sing my song? T'e first song I ever sang for you lads?"

Harry nods immediately, and after a moment, so does Liam. Niall turns to Louis with pleading eyes, and Louis laughs.

"Can't resist such a cute face. Wouldn't have said no, anyways," Louis says fondly, bopping Niall on the nose lightly before he turns to the band. "Cue up the first song, Niall's song, yeah?"

After a few murmurs, the band seems to all be on the same page, so Louis leads Niall over to where his guitar sits in its stand by the stairs, and Liam and Harry follow behind, all of them sitting in a row on the stairs as Niall check his tuning. Once he's done, Niall looks up at the crowd.

"T'is is a song t'at's quite special t' me, and I want everyone t' know t'at I'll never forget where I belong."

Niall looks back and nods to the band. There's a countdown on the drumsticks and then Niall starts playing and Liam sings the opening line.

"Been a lot of places..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. So, this isn't a new chapter. This is just the story without Niall's accent, as I've been told that it detracts from the story. I tried my best to fix it all, but I may have missed a few things, so if you spot any errors, please let me know. I hope it's more enjoyable now.

For as long as Niall can remember, he's loved music. His mum always loves to tell anyone who will listen stories about how when he was a kid, he would enter talent shows to sing. Always said he had the voice of an angel. His mum's a bit embarrassing, but he loves her, without a doubt.

When he entered The X Factor, he was young, full of dreams and hope, only to fail. He was crushed when he was sent home. The X Factor is where some of his fondest memories are, and also where all of his most painful memories begin.

He will admit, he almost gave up on his dreams of ever making it into the music industry, but after a few weeks of wallowing in self pity, he pulled himself back together and began writing again. He got a job so that he could pay for voice lessons(merely because he wanted to improve for himself. He's sort of given up on his dream to ever be a professional singer), finished school, and, when he saved up enough money, he moved to London, even though it was hard to leave behind everything he's ever known. He knew his best shot at making it into the music industry was in London, so he went through with it, despite how much he knew he'd miss his family. He's always felt like something was missing from his life, though. He never realized just what that was until he finally allowed himself to watch the reruns from the season he was on The X Factor.

It was then that he found out that a few of the lads he'd met had been made into a group. The four boys, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson, made for a pretty group of boys, that's for sure, and their voices blended in such a way that had Niall blinking in awe and fascination, even if it felt like something was missing. Regardless, that was the day that Niall became One Direction's biggest fan.

Now, five years since his time on The X Factor, Niall is content with life. He has a decent paying job as an assistant to Nick Grimshaw, a radio host at BBC's Radio 1, even if it's not exactly what he wants to do with his life, he has a few friends in the music industry, and he's still writing music. Also, he's been to exactly seven One Direction concerts, even if he's never met them.

"Nick, not that I don't love you or anything, but what the fuck are you doing in me flat?" Niall calls cheerfully as he throws his keys into the dish he keeps in his hallway, recognizing the ridiculously expensive(and rather ugly) shoes at the door.

Nick peeks his head around the doorway of the living room with a grin.

"Finally! Took you long enough to get home. Did you miss the tube again?" Nick teases.

Niall rolls his eyes fondly. He met Nick when he moved to London, literally ran into him and spilled the man's coffee all over him. After Niall had apologized approximately eighty seven times, Nick had just rolled his eyes and told him he could make it up to him by buying him a new coffee, if he felt so bad about it. Needless to say, Niall did, and after a few dozen more apologies, Nick had asked his name. Once Niall had told him, however, his eyes had shone with interest and recognition, oddly enough.

"Did you happen to be on The X Factor in 2010?" Nick had asked.

Confused, Niall had nodded.

"Yeah, I was. Not for long, though. No one's ever recognized me before," Niall had admitted sheepishly.

Nick had stared at him for a while, looking contemplative, before he clapped his hands loudly, startling Niall.

"Would you like a job?"

And that's how Niall ended up working for Nick. Though that still doesn't explain why he's in Niall's shitty flat, waiting for him to get home.

"No, I didn't miss the tube, you wanker," Niall replies. "I was out buying the new album. Took going to a few stores to find it still in stock, though."

Niall holds up the plastic bag, holding his prize.

Nick rolls his eyes.

"I don't know why you refuse to meet them. You have plenty of opportunities, yet you never take them. You ought to have more perks to working for me than being able to call me your friend, amazing man that I am."

"I do have perks! I got to meet Ed, didn't I?" Niall shoots back, slipping his shoes, a ratty old pair of trainers that used to be white, off carelessly as he walks past Nick to sit on his lumpy sofa.

"Niall, you're obsessed with One Direction. Professional Fangirl, and all that. Why won't you let me set you up with them?" Nick asks, running his hand through his quiff and messing it up.

Niall sighs.

"We've been through this, mate. At least a hundred times. I can't meet them. I'll make a fool of meself. Especially-" Niall quickly cuts himself off. He doesn't need more of Nick's teasing right now.

"Especially...?" Nick echoes, before his lips lift into a smirk. "You mean Louis?"

Niall groans and buries his face in his hands. The faux blond regrets ever getting drunk and spilling his feelings for Louis out to the older man.

"I think you should really meet them, mate. Besides, you and Louis would be great together. You know he just came out," Nick points out, sitting next to him on the sofa.

"Nick, no. Just, stop it. Please. Don't tease me by saying things that'll never happen," Niall whines miserably.

Nick frowns.

"Niall, I don't know why you think you don't have a chance with him. You're attractive, sweet, funny, and a literal ball of sunshine. Why the fuck wouldn't he like you?"

"Nick," Niall protests, not wanting to say why he doesn't have a chance. It should be fairly obvious, anyways.

"No, Niall. Tell me why," Nick demands, though his tone is soft.

Niall shoves the palms of his hands against his eyes, hard, and hunches over, settling for the truth he's more comfortable telling(by a rather large margin, though he's not comfortable sharing this truth, either), since he knows Nick won't let this go.

"Because I failed! I failed, and they succeeded! I wasn't good enough. I didn't sing well enough. I don't deserve to even meet them," Niall tells hims shakily, yelling in the beginning, but then quieting down into a whisper.

"Oh, babe," Nick whispers, wrapping his arms around Niall as the younger man trembles. "I thought we were past this. How many times do I have to tell you that you being sent home was a mistake?"

Niall just shakes his head silently in denial. It wasn't a mistake. He was young and dumb and not talented enough. Why did he ever think he even had a chance to make it in the music industry in the first place?

After a few minutes, Niall pulls away from Nick, pulling himself back together like he has so often before in the past. He needs to be strong for those around him, so no one worries. He can't break apart everytime something goes wrong.

Niall flashes Nick a half grin.

"Sorry about that, mate. I don't know what that was all about. Why are you here again?"

Nick frowns at Niall for a bit before he shakes his head, seeming to let it go for now.

"It's not important. You work on any new songs lately?"

Niall nods and pulls his notebook out from the messenger bag he carries everywhere, turning it to the most recent song. It's a sad song, like so many of his songs tend to be, about not necessarily being someone's Mr. Right, but being someone's Mr. Right Now. It's called Temporary Fix, but he's a bit stuck on some of the lyrics. He has the chorus all figured out, and figures he can just write a few variations of it throughout the song, but he can't figure out the hook, the lead in. He doesn't quite know what story he wants to tell.

As Nick reads over the lyrics, he frowns, but not like he doesn't like it. More like he's thinking them over.

"This is good so far. I really like it. Remind me again why you never try to sell your songs? They'd sell quick, and for a lot of money. You could get out of this shit flat in no time."

"These songs are personal to me, Nick. It doesn't feel right to have someone else sing them, unless I work with Ed and he wants it. And you know I wouldn't make Ed pay for something half his, anyway," Niall explains for what must be the hundreth time.

"Right," Nick says, still looking thoughtful.

~

When Niall comes in to work about a week later and looks at the schedule to see what Nick's doing today, because despite the fact that Nick doesn't actually need an assistant, he takes his job seriously(most of the time), he nearly drops the paper mug his coffee is in, in shock. He rereads it, sure he's seeing wrong, but no, the words don't change.

Niall nearly sprints to find Nick, sure that he's setting up for The Breakfast Show, and finds him exactly where he thought. The faux blond doesn't hesitate to barge into the soundproofed room, and when Nick looks up at him, he knows the older man knew.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were interviewing One Direction today?" Niall splutters.

Nick at least has the decency to look sheepish, though only for a moment.

"I knew you wouldn't even bother coming to work today, like every other time, if you knew. You're lucky I'm such an understanding boss, you know?"

Niall frowns.

"You know how I feel about them, Nick. For fuck's sake," Niall huffs, trying to hold onto his anger, but he knows he can't stay mad at Nick for long. He's a good friend, and Niall's never been any good at holding grudges.

"Niall, I'm not saying you have to meet them if you don't want to. I just don't want you to live in fear of it, okay? I know you feel like you don't deserve to meet them, - which is total bullshit, by the way - but they're nice lads. It's not like they're going to hurt you."

Niall feels the fight in him drain away, but he still tries to put up a front, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at Nick with a frown. He knows how unsettled it makes Nick when he has anything other than a smile on his face, and the wanker ought to feel bad about making Niall panic so early in the morning.

It doesn't take long for Nick to start shifting uneasily in his chair, looking slightly pained and uncomfortable. That's when Niall sighs and waves his hand.

"It's fine. Just let me know next time, you arse," Niall says teasingly.

The younger man laughs as he watches the tension in Nick's body drains away, taking a seat across from Nick and pulling out his notebook to work on his song while the older man sets up for The Breakfast Show, knowing he has at least an hour and a half until One Direction arrives. Until then, he'll try to finish this song. He's got a pretty good idea of where he wants to take it now.

~

Niall's pulled away from his song, which is more or less finished, when Ed comes by unexpectedly. Niall grins and stands, walking over to the redhead to clap him on the back.

"Hey, Ed. What are you doing here? And when'd you get back in London?" Niall asks, walking with him out of the room to give Nick some quiet time before he has to go on the air. Nick, despite his appearances, actually takes his job seriously, and needs time to sit and go over then entire show in his mind a few times - the planned bits, at least.

Ed shrugs.

"Just got back last night. Would have texted you, but it was late. I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast?" Ed asks.

Niall grins.

"Of course, mate. I live for our breakfast dates," Niall teases, just to get a blush out of the older man.

Niall met Ed about two years ago, about a year after he moved to London. They hit it off, and they've been great friends ever since. Some would say it's a bit of an odd friendship, since Ed's a bit quieter and more shy than Niall, but once Ed loosens up, he's a total laugh. He's got a wicked sense of humor, and he's not a bad singer, either(phenomenal, more like). Overall, he's one of the best friends Niall's ever had.

As expected, Ed's cheeks flush pink, even if he's used to Niall's teasing after so long.

"I'll be right back. Gonna tell Nick I'll be gone for a bit, yeah?"

When Niall gets a nod in return, he turns on his heel and walks the few steps they'd taken away from the door, popping his head into the sound room.

"Ed and I are gonna go get breakfast. That okay?" Niall asks, already knowing Nick won't have a problem, but he asks anyway, because his mum raised him to be polite and use his manners.

"Yeah, yeah. Just be back in an hour, okay?" Nick says, waving distractedly as he reads something on his phone.

"Love ya, Nick! You're the best!" Niall sings, shutting the door and turning back to Ed.

"We're all good to go. So, where are you taking me today, my ginger friend?"

~

When Niall gets back from his breakfast with Ed, it's been a bit more than an hour, since they got stuck in a bit of traffic on the way back. Niall figures Nick won't be mad about it, so he just checks to make sure he's not on the air before he knocks, walking in without waiting for a response, as usual. He's halfway to Nick before he registers the three other people in the room.

Niall almost has a heart attack seeing Liam, Harry, and Louis sitting at the table, staring at him, and for a moment, Niall's frozen, before he turns on his heel and walks back out as quickly as he can without running. He knows he probably comes off as weird and maybe like he doesn't like them, but Niall doesn't deserve to meet them. He doesn't deserve for them to know that he exists.

Still, he can't keep himself from watching through the one-way glass as Liam says something, Nick says something back, and, after a few moments, Louis' eyes widen before he whips his head towards the door, so quickly he must have whiplash or something. Nick laughs at him before Louis gets up and rounds the table, looking like he's shouting at Nick, which. Niall knew he and Nick weren't on the best of terms, but they've always been civil to each other, at least. Whatever Nick said must have struck a nerve, something the older man is rather adept at.

Niall sucks his lower lip into his mouth as he watches the proceedings inside, feeling odd. He's always felt like he should be in the band with the rest of them, like he belongs there, and even if Niall tries to tell himself that he's delusional, it doesn't change that nagging thought at the back of his head.

With effort, Niall turns away from the room and goes to make Nick his coffee, having to throw it out and remake it when he adds too much sugar, and again when he spills the milk everywhere and knocks the cup over(Nick doesn't even like milk in his coffee). When he's finally got the coffee the way Nick likes it, Niall walks back to the sound room and knocks, seeing that they're taking another break. This time, he waits for someone to open the door, not sure if he can open it and not spill the coffee at the same time, and just prays that it's not Louis who opens the door.

It's Harry, it turns out. He looks really pretty, Niall can't help but think, his long hair pulled up into a bun at the crown of his head and his eyes so green, Niall's not certain they're real. Still, Niall holds out the coffee.

"Could you give this to Nick, please? He's about due for his mid-morning coffee," Niall says politely, avoiding Harry's curious gaze.

"Sure. You know you could come in, though, right? We're not going to, like, bite you or anything," Harry says, his voice coming out in a slow, deep drawl.

Niall feels panic start to well up inside his chest, but he pushes it back.

"Thanks, but I actually have a lot of stuff to do. I appreciate the offer," Niall says sincerely, flashing Harry a quick grin, though he's careful to avoid looking at him directly.

"Oh. You're Irish?" Harry asks, sounding surprised. It's kind of a hard thing to miss, but apparently, his first two sentences didn't make the connection for the younger lad. Maybe his accent has faded more than he thought after spending so much time in London?

Niall shuffles a bit awkwardly in place, still holding the coffee out, but he nods in response.

"Yeah. Sorry, but Nick will get cranky if he doesn't get his coffee soon, so will you please give him it?" Niall asks, pushing back the panic again.

Harry nods slowly and takes the coffee carefully.

"You know, you look really familiar. Have we met somewhere before?" Harry asks carefully, just as he's about to leave. He searches Niall's face, like he's trying to find something specific that will jar his memory.

Niall's breathing speeds up as he begins to panic. No, no, no! He can't tell someone he looks up to about how they met years ago, only for Niall to have failed before he even really got a chance.

"No, I think- You're mistaken. I- I have to go!" Niall squeaks out, turning on his heel and running away.

He needs to find somewhere to be alone, somewhere he can calm down. Fuck, he hasn't had a panic attack at work since his first year working here. Where did he go when he did have a panic attack?

Niall's feet take him there automatically as he starts to feel a bit dizzy from lack of air. It feels like the air is too thin, like he can't get enough of it. Fuck, he's going to pass out!

Just as Niall reaches the lounge, where interviews are sometimes conducted, he stumbles, banging his bad knee on the coffee table. Pain shoots up Niall's spine, and his knee feels like it's shattered. It's a mixture of pain, flashbacks to when he hurt his knee, and a lack of air that makes him pass out, dropping to the floor with a loud thud.

He's unconscious before he even hears the shouts of his name.

~

When Niall wakes up, he has a splitting headache. He groans and tries to sit up, but he yelps and falls back into bed when his knee protests with a jolt of sharp pain, like he's being stabbed by a really sharp knife. Or something. Niall's not really good at coming up with a comparison when he can barely think through the pain.

"Fuck, are you okay?" comes a voice to his side, sounding incredibly familiar.

Niall opens his eyes, trying to push back the pain, and when his blurry vision clears, he nearly has a heart attack.

There, looking incredibly worried, is Louis Tomlinson, half-risen from his seat beside Niall's bed with his hands hovering in front of him, like he doesn't quite know what to do with them.

Despite feeling like his heart is going to beat out of his chest, Niall speaks freely, his tongue loose with pain.

"Jesus, fuck! You scared me half to death! Thought an angel came to take me to the afterlife or something," Niall says teasingly, and immediately wants to smack himself. That totally sounded like a come on.

Louis seems to freeze for a moment, like he's not quite sure he heard him right, but then he laughs, long and loud.

"Well, you seem to be alright if you can flirt with anyone who stands on two legs," Nick deadpans as he walks through the door, Liam and Harry following behind and nearly sending Niall into cardiac arrest.

Actually, now that Niall's not focused on his pain or Louis fucking Tomlinson talking to him, he registers the loud beeping echoing in his room, in time with his fast heartbeat. Niall looks around and finds he's not at home, nor is he at Nick's or work. It looks an awful lot like a hospital room, to be honest.

"Nick, what happened? Where am I, and why am I here?" Niall asks, deciding that's more important than screaming at Nick for dragging One Direction to see him when they obviously have better things to do.

"You're in the hospital. You had a panic attack and banged up your knee pretty bad," Nick answers, coming to stand beside Louis by his bed.

Niall frowns.

"Your fault, mate," Niall accuses, not entirely serious.

Nick actually looks guilty, to Niall's surprise.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just didn't think you'd freak out and hurt yourself," Nick murmurs, looking ashamed of himself.

"Nick, I'm just fucking with you. I know it's not your fault."

The room is quiet for a few moments before Liam speaks up, nearly making Niall jump. He'd forgotten he and the other lads were there.

"What's going on? Is Niall okay? Why'd he freak out when he saw us?"

Niall turns pleading eyes to Nick, feeling and hearing his heart beat pick up. Nick sighs.

"Niall here has a bit of anxiety when it comes to meeting celebrities. I didn't tell him beforehand that you lads were coming to visit, and he freaked out. Sorry about that," Nick explains.

"Then why'd he freak out so badly when I asked him if he looked familar to me?" Harry asks gently, a knowing look in his eye that makes Niall uncomfortable.

Niall curls up as much as he can without jarring his knee and grips his hair tightly.

"It's because we've met before, years ago. All of us. On The X Factor," Niall whispers, not looking at anyone.

"Fuck," Louis breathes. "I knew it! We've been looking for you for years, Niall!"

Niall turns to Louis with wide eyes. The older man looks breathless and excited, for reasons Niall doesn't understand.

"What?"

"You were supposed to be in the band with us, Niall. You were supposed to be put together with us on The X Factor, but you disappeared after we were all eliminated from the boys category," Liam explains.

"I- What? No, no, you're wrong. I wasn't good enough! I wasn't- No!" Niall wails.

"Babe, listen to them. They're not lying to you," Nick tells hims gently, resting his hand on Niall's shoulder.

Niall jerks away, crying out when the movement jars his knee, but just grits his teeth and speaks through the pain.

"You knew?" Niall asks, feeling strangely betrayed, even if he's sure this is all a mistake or a cruel joke.

Nick looks proper chastised, but he still tries to explain.

"I didn't know how to tell you, and after we became such good friends and I learned just how much being sent home affected you, I couldn't bring myself to tell you. Couldn't in good conscience tell the other lads I knew you, either, since you were so adamant about not meeting them."

Niall shakes his head in denial.

"No, just- Get out, all of you. Please. I need some time. I- Please, just let me be," Niall says quietly, trying hard to keep from crying in front of everyone.

The room is quiet for a moment before Nick sighs and guides the three other men out of the room, though Niall's only alone for a few minutes before a doctor comes in and fills him in on what's wrong.

Turns out, he dislocated his knee when he hit it on the table and fell, but it should be fine after a few weeks, so long as he doesn't put much weight on it, and then wears his brace for a few weeks longer. He's given crutches and some pills for the pain and is free to go after he signs the papers. Niall calls up Ed for a ride, since he's not sure he's willing to risk a ride on the tube, and he's still upset with Nick.

Ed is surprised and worried when Niall tells him what happened and agrees easily to come pick him up. He also offers to take him to work every morning until he's all healed up, which is sweet of him, and, after Ed reassures him that it's on the way to the studio where Ed's been writing for his next album, Niall accepts gratefully. He's not as cheerful as usual, because of everything that's happened today, but Niall just wants to go home and sleep for the rest of the day.

When Ed arrives, he somehow ropes Niall into going to lunch with him. Ed takes him to Nando's, his favorite restaurant, even though Niall knows Ed's not particularly fond of it, and Niall feels warm affection for the older man. It feels nice to be spoiled a bit after a bad day.

Ed doesn't leave immediately when he drops Niall off, opting to stay with him for a bit and work on some songs. They don't often get the chance, and Niall's name is either never on the song or he keeps it for himself, but they enjoy doing this from time to time.

They've been working for about half an hour in silence, and Niall has about half a song written out, when Ed suddenly speaks up.

"You got anything good so far?"

Niall furrows his brows and looks down at what he's written, reading through the words, and finds there's a sudden pressure in his chest.

The faux blond hands over the notepad he's working on, since he seems to have left his usual notebook at work, and lets Ed read through it, feeling oddly nervous. He knows Ed will give his honest opinion, and that sort of makes it worse, because this is a song he's been putting off writing for a very long time, because he didn't want to admit the possibility. And now, it seems like there's a real chance-

"This is good, Ni. You calling it Don't Forget Where You Belong?" Ed asks thoughtfully.

Niall nods, swallowing around the lump in his throat.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask what the inspiration behind it is?"

Niall bites his lower lip, trying to decide if he should tell him. Ed's one of his best friends. He should be able to tell him this.

"Ever since I was sent home on The X Factor, I've always felt like something was missing, like I belonged somewhere else. I thought it was the usual teenage angst bullshit until I found out about One Direction."

At this, Ed looks up from the lyrics, his eyes shining with interest. Niall hardly ever talks about his time on X Factor in conjunction with One Direction.

"I found out they were put together at the same time I was sent home. And, listening to them, I always felt like something was missing from them, like their voices didn't exactly mesh as well as they could. It was like something was missing to balance all the extremes out."

Ed nods.

"I've always thought that, too," Ed agrees.

Niall nods and continues.

"Sometimes, I thought maybe I was what was missing, and would then have to remind myself that it was just wishful thinking, but after today, I'm not quite so sure."

"What happened?" the red-haired man asks curiously.

"I met One Direction today, and they told me the funniest thing," Niall says, his voice getting quieter. Even though the words would normally be said in a teasing or humorous manner, Niall can't seem to manage it this time. "They told me that I was originally meant to be in the band with them, but I'd disappeared after I was eliminated. That's crazy, right? There's no way that's true, right?"

Ed is quiet for a moment before his eyes widen.

"Oh. Harry sometimes mentioned- But I didn't think- It was you?" Ed says, sounding confused and surprised.

Niall feels his breath leave him.

"It's true? I really was meant to be with them?" Niall asks quietly, his voice trembling. He feels so small all of a sudden, kind of like his entire life has been a lie, like everything he's gone through means nothing in the long run. He doesn't hold it against Ed, since he seems to have only just put the pieces together, but it still hurts that two of his friends, his best friends, knew something so vital to his future and didn't tell him.

"Oh, Niall, it's okay," Ed says softly, wrapping his arms around Niall as he begins to shake with suppressed sobs. "It'll be okay. We'll get this all sorted, yeah?"

Niall just cuddles into his friend and finally lets the tears fall.

It only occurs to him later that he didn't really answer Ed's question, and if the red-haired man noticed, he was a doll and didn't mention it in favor of making sure Niall was okay.

~

When Niall comes into work the next day, Nick looks surprised to see him.

"They let you out of the hospital already?" Nick asks, standing from his seat abruptly, even though he's about to come on the air and one of the sound techs is yelling at him.

Nick just flicks him off and sets up another song to play.

"Yeah. I was let out after you left. Had Ed pick me up," Niall answers, limping over on his crutches to take a seat opposite Nick.

"Are you okay? After everything that happened yesterday, I didn't expect to see you again for at least a week," Nick says worriedly, taking the seat next to him.

"'M fine, Nick. Stop being such a mother hen," Niall says, rolling his eyes.

Nick frowns.

"Are you still mad at me for keeping that secret from you?"

Niall pauses, before he shrugs.

"I can't stay mad at you for long. Besides, Ed talked me through it. I'm not really okay right now, but I could be, with time."

Nick pulls Niall into a hug, careful not to knock his knee.

"I'm really sorry, Niall. If I knew it would hurt you so much, I never would have kept it a secret for so long," Nick tells him sincerely as he pulls away.

"It's okay. I understand why you didn't," Niall replies before he laughs. "We're talking in circles, Nick, and you've got a show to host. Get on with it."

Nick smiles and nods.

"Okay. You want to stick around?"

"Yeah, sure," Niall agrees easily.

~

It's about a week after his stay in the hospital that Niall walks into work and sees a man he's not seen in person for five years. Niall's confused, but thinks nothing of it, figuring he's got his own business to take care of, and limps by on his crutches, heading for the sound room to check in with Nick. He's not expecting it when he hears the man's voice call out to him by name.

"Niall Horan?"

Niall turns as best he can to meet the man's gaze.

"Yes? What can I do for the illustrious Simon Cowell?" Niall quips with a grin, masking his nerves.

"I'm going to need you to come with me to my office. There's a few things we need to discuss. I've already cleared it with your employer, so if you'll just follow me, that would be great."

Niall tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"Are you having me on?" Niall asks, unsure.

"I assure you, Niall, I am not. Come with me and we'll discuss the matter at hand."

After a moment of hesitation, Niall sighs and nods.

"Just let me go check in with Nick real quick. I'll be back in a minute, yeah?"

When Simon just nods in understanding, Niall turns back around and limps his way to the sound room, knocking and waiting for the door to open. When Nick does, he grins.

"Any idea why Simon Cowell would be coming to see me?" Niall asks before Nick can even open his mouth.

Nick frowns, but shakes his head.

"No idea. He just said he needed to take you away to have a chat. Text me when you get done and let me know what happened, yeah?"

Niall nods.

"See ya, Nick. Let's grab a pint soon," Niall says as he limps off.

"As long as you don't moon over Louis again!" Nick calls back teasingly.

Niall has to stop to flick him off, but he's still grinning when he meets Simon back in the lobby.

~

The ride to Simon's office is spent in silence, making Niall a bit nervous. He has no idea why Simon Cowell would want to speak to him. He shouldn't even be a blip on his radar.

Needless to say, when he and Niall enter Simon's office and see Harry, Louis, and Liam waiting for them, he's even more confused and nervous.

"What's going on here?" Niall asks warily as he limps over to the only empty seat, which seems to be conveniently(or inconveniently) next to Louis.

"Niall, I'm sure the boys have already told you about how them being formed as a four-piece on The X Factor was a mistake," Simon begins. "You were chosen to be in the group as well, but you disappeared before you could be told. By the time we located you, One Direction was already a hit, and adding you into the group at that time would have caused turmoil. With Zayn's recent departure, I believe now would be a great time for you to join, as you were meant to from the start. That is, if you still want to."

Niall sits there, sure he must look comical with his mouth agape in shock. Surely he heard wrong?

"I- What? You want me to join One Direction?" Niall asks faintly.

"Yes. If you want to."

Niall just stares at Simon in shock.

"But- But why? I'm not a good enough singer for that," Niall protests.

"Then sing for us. We'll each get a vote. It'll be like X Factor again. Choose any song you want," Simon says, leaning forward in his seat to thread his fingers together with his elbows on the desk.

"Sing?" Niall echoes dumbly.

"Yes, Niall. Sing," Simon replies, sounding faintly amused.

Niall searches his mind frantically for something to sing, and when he finds the perfect song, he looks up.

"Could I sing a song I wrote meself?" Niall asks hesitantly.

Simon just nods.

"And would you happen to have a guitar laying around somewhere?" Niall asks.

Simon nods again, calling someone on his desk phone for a guitar.

"You play guitar?" Louis asks from beside him.

Niall nods, doing his best not to look directly at Louis, for fear of having another panic attack.

"Learned when I was a kid," he answers distractedly, turning to the door when it opens and a woman carries in a beautiful guitar with a light brown finish that probably costs more than his entire flat.

As Niall sets to tuning it, not that it needed much work to begin with, he feels the intense gazes of every man in the room. It's a bit stifling, to be honest, but Niall tries to ignore it. He can pretend he's just in his flat alone.

As Niall begins to play the opening chords, he goes over the words in his head once more before he closes his eyes and sings.

"Been a lot of places,  
I've been all around the world.  
Seen a lot of faces,  
Never knowing where I was."

Niall hears a sharp intake of air from somewhere, but he pays it no mind as he continues.

"On the horizon,  
Oh, but I know, I know, I know, I know the sun'll be rising,  
Back home.

"Living out of cases,  
Packing up and taking off.  
Made a lot of changes,  
But never forgetting who I was.

"On the horizon,  
Oh, well I know, I know, I know, I know the moon'll be rising,  
Back home."

Niall takes a deep breath before he begins the chorus, feeling his nerves slip away the longer he plays and sings.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song."

Niall feels his eyes start to sting. This is a really difficult song for him to sing because he wrote this thinking about what it would have been like to be in One Direction from the start, and now he has a chance. He doesn't have high hopes, but the hope is still there, sitting in his chest. He doesn't know if he'll survive being rejected again. Things fell apart for him last time.

"Been away for ages,  
But I got everything I need.  
Flicking through the pages,  
I've written in my memory.

"I feel like I'm dreaming.  
Oh, so I know, I know, I know, I know that I'm never leaving.  
No, I won't go.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Lights off when they should be on.  
Even stars in the skies, they're wrong.  
Short days when the nights are long,  
When I think of the things I've done.  
Don't matter how far I've gone,  
I always feel at home.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own.  
Never, never, never.

"Don't forget where you belong, home.  
Don't forget where you belong, home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Home.  
Don't forget it.  
Home.  
If you ever feel alone, don't.  
You were never on your own,  
And the proof is in this song.

"Never forget it,  
This song.  
Don't forget it.  
No, I never forget it,  
This song.  
You were never..."

As Niall finishes up the song, he tilts his head back, feeling a few tears slip down his cheeks. He knows he probably looks ridiculous, crying over a song that probably doesn't even sound sad, lyrically, but it means so much to him. It hurts. It feels like his heart is throbbing in his chest.

He's just always wanted to be a part of something like One Direction, imagined all of the adventures he would have had, if he'd gone on to be with them. Niall's sure he'd be a different person then. He'd probably be happier at the end of the day, and he wouldn't have had to deal with a lot of the shit he's had to in his life.

"Oh, wow. That was beautiful, Niall. Did you really write that?" Niall hear Harry say.

Niall opens his eyes, blinking through the tears, and manages a small smile for the long-haired man.

"Yeah. Finished it a few days ago. It was a song that wanted to be written for a really long time, but I couldn't let meself do it," Niall says as he lets his gaze drift from Harry.

"Couldn't let yourself? It really was beautiful, mate. Why couldn't you write it?" Liam asks.

Niall bites his lower lip.

"It hurt too much," Niall replies, hoping that'll be enough.

"Hurt too much?" Louis asks, sounding confused, but his voice is soft, like he's not quite sure if he should be asking. "Why would that song hurt?"

Niall clenches his eyes shut as he decides he might as well tell them.

"I wrote it for you guys," Niall begins, hearing a sharp intake of breath from someone. "I always felt like something was missing from me life, and I didn't know what that was until I found you all. I thought maybe that's where I belonged, with you lads, but I figured it was just fanboy nonsense on my part. I imagined all the places I'd get to visit, all the things I'd get to see and experience, and it just hurt too much to write this song before, knowing all of that wasn't gonna happen."

Niall shrugs, opening his eyes.

"I guess I'll be going now. Nick'll be needing his coffee soon," Niall says quietly as he gently leans the guitar against Simon's desk and begins to pull himself up.

"Wait, babe, we didn't vote yet. You can't leave until we do," Louis says firmly, grabbing onto Niall's arm to stop him from standing.

Niall feels his cheeks flush from the endearment as he settles back into his seat. Regardless, he still shakes his head.

"Why would you lot want me anyways? 'M not good enough for One Direction," Niall mumbles.

"Think we're the ones who decide if you're good enough, Niall. And I vote for yes," Harry drawls.

Niall looks up wide eyed at that.

"I'm all for it. Yes," Liam chimes in.

"Yes, definitely," Louis says, smiling so his eyes go all crinkly. Niall can't breathe.

"It'll be a yes from me, as well. Welcome to One Direction, Niall," Simon says warmly.

And Niall promptly faints.

~

When he comes to, Niall looks around blearily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his fist. God, his head hurts. What the fuck did he do?

"Oh, you're awake."

Niall looks up and sees Louis standing in the doorway.

"Um?"

Louis laughs.

"Confused?" he asks teasingly.

Niall nods dumbly.

"You fainted. I was able to catch you before you fell and hurt yourself more, though. Is this going to be a habit of yours?" Louis muses.

Niall blinks before he throws his head back and laughs. He always knew Louis was funny, but he didn't think he'd ever get the chance to experience it in person. Niall's entirely besotted.

When Niall finally calms down, he sees Louis' just staring at him, so he raises an eyebrow.

"So, what are you doing here?" Niall asks, stretching his back a bit.

"I do live here, you know," Louis tells him distractedly.

That's when Niall realizes for the first time that he's not in his shitty flat. The first tip off should have been how comfortable the bed is. It's easily the best bed Niall's ever been on, just the right amount of firm and soft.

"Oh. I'm sorry?" Niall says, though his voice lilts up uncertainly at the end, turning his apology into a question.

"Don't worry about it, babe. Didn't know where else to take you. I didn't know where you live, and I knew Nick would still be working for a few hours. You hungry?"

Niall feels his cheeks flush at the endearment, the same one from before, but he pushes it back.

"I'm always hungry. I've a bottomless pit for a stomach," Niall tells him honestly.

Louis laughs, and Niall feels his breath leave him again. He's just so attractive.

"Great. The lads and I wanted to have lunch to get to know you better. You mind?" Louis asks.

Niall shakes his head.

"I don't mind. I'll need to go home first, though. I need a shower. This bed is really hot. Sweated through me clothes a bit," Niall says, and wants to smack himself. That's way to much information.

"Yeah, I usually don't sleep with the duvet meself. I can take you home, if you want."

Niall nods, and goes to get out of the bed, when what Louis said registers.

"Is this your bed?" Niall asks.

"Well, yeah. Don't have the guest room set up, and I didn't want you to sleep on me sofa. It's nice to look at, and sit on, but it's not meant for sleeping on," Louis explains.

"Oh," Niall breathes before shaking his head. "Think I'll take you up on that ride. If you wouldn't mind."

"Wouldn't have offered if I minded, love," Louis teases, and Niall's sure he's about to explode. In what world does Louis Tomlinson call him pet names?

Niall forces himself to the edge of the bed and looks around for his crutches, but they seem to be nowhere in sight.

"Louis?"

Niall watches as Louis' eyes widen a bit when he says his name for the first time.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen me crutches anywhere?"

The room is silent for a few seconds.

"Fuck. Think I left them back at Simon's office."

Niall sighs but shakes his head.

"It's fine. I've got another set back at me flat. May have to use you until then, though," Niall grins, waggling his eyebrows.

Louis flushes a bit, looking stupidly attractive, before he grins back.

"You can use me anytime, Blondie," Louis says with a wink.

Niall laughs, making grabby hands at Louis for him to come help him stand. Once he's up from the bed, Louis helps him out of the house, just grabbing his shoes on the way out to put on in the car. After Niall's safely in the passenger seat of Louis' American model car, some sleek, black convertible type (Niall doesn't know shit about cars), Louis goes around to the driver's side and pulls out of the driveway without putting his seatbelt on.

"Not a believer in seatbelts, or are you just absentminded?" Niall teases, patting his seatbelt in a mocking fashion.

Louis glances at him quickly from the corner of his eye.

"Don't get smart with me, Horan. I'll make you take the tube home," Louis threatens, but Niall knows he's not serious.

"Hmm, I dunno. I could just find some tall, dark stranger to help me home," Niall says, purposely making his tone considering, his words suggestive, even if he'd never even think about doing that. He's thoroughly amused with their conversation, however, and he's interested in seeing how Louis reacts.

Louis swerves a bit before he gets the car back under control. When he gets to a red light, he turns to Niall with wide eyes.

"Are you-?" Louis cuts himself off before he can finish the question, but Niall understands anyways.

"Gay? No, not really. Bi, maybe. I tend to lean more towards lads than birds, though," Niall answers the unasked question easily enough.

Louis stares at him for a few moments before a loud honk from behind them makes them jump. Louis flicks off the driver behind him as he starts driving again.

"Yeah? When'd you figure it out?" Louis asks curiously.

Niall feels his cheeks get a bit hot.

"May have been when I tried out for X Factor and saw all these attractive blokes around," Niall tells him, which is close enough to the truth. He can't tell Louis that seeing him, in particular, made Niall reconsider his entire outlook on life, regardless of the fact that Niall had conveniently forgotten his entire existence until he discovered One Direction.

"Yeah? Was there anyone who caught your eye back then?" Louis asks with a glint in his eye.

"Might have been," Niall hums.

Their banter lasts for the rest of the car ride, and when they pull up to Niall's building, he realizes he never gave Louis any directions.

"I thought you said you didn't know where I live?" Niall asks suspiciously.

Louis looks a bit nervous.

"May have texted Nick and asked him for your address while I was waiting for you to wake up. May also have looked it up and memorized the directions."

Niall stares at Louis for a few seconds, during which Louis seems to get more and more uncomfortable, probably realizing just how creepy that is, which. Yeah, actually, that is a bit creepy, but Niall mostly thinks it's sweet that he's making such an effort to include him in the band already.

Finally, Niall decides to set the older man at ease.

"Am I gonna have to worry about you coming to kidnap me in the middle of the night?" Niall asks jokingly.

Louis shakes his head as he chuckles.

"Maybe. Sleep with one eye open, Horan!" Louis quips as he turns the car off and slips out of the seat gracefully, going around to open Niall's door and helping him out.

They make their way up the stairs slowly, and when they reach Niall's door, he reaches into his pocket for his key, quickly unlocking it. Once the door is open, Niall flicks on the light and reaches for the extra set of crutches by the door. Louis lets go of him after a moment, seemingly reluctantly, and Niall closes the door after them.

"Just make yourself at home. I'll be back in around twenty minutes. Might want to sit in the chair. Sofa's a bit lumpy and uncomfortable," Niall tells him as he makes his way to the bathroom.

"Take your time. I'm sure I'll find something to occupy meself," Louis calls after him.

Niall rushes through his shower, though he makes sure he's thorough. After he's finished, he blow dries his hair and styles it before he brushes his teeth(because fainting has a nasty habit of making your mouth taste like something died in it) and puts deodorant on. When he's done with that, Niall opens the door and is startled to see Louis in the hallway, looking at the photos on the wall.

"This your family?" Louis asks, looking up before he freezes.

It's then that Niall remembers he's only clad in a towel.

"Um, yeah. I'm just gonna go get dressed real quick," Niall mumbles, limping past Louis without looking at him.

It takes a few minutes to decide on an outfit, but eventualy Niall settles on some tight black jeans, a blue and white Hawaiian themed button-down that reminds Niall of Harry, and some white Adidas. He figures it's nice enough without looking like he's trying too hard.

Niall makes his way out to the living room and finds Louis messing around on his phone. When Niall enters, Louis looks up.

"You look good, babe. You ready to go? Liam and Harry are meeting us at the restaurant."

Niall feels his face warm at the endearment, just like every time Louis' used one, and nods.

"Where are we going?" Niall asks as he follows Louis out, picking up his wallet and his key on his way by.

It's when Niall is locking the door that Louis answers.

"We're going to Marcus Wareing," Louis answers nonchalantly, like he's talking about grabbing a bite to eat at McDonald's and not one of the most exclusive and expensive restaurants in London.

Niall chokes on his own spit and drops his key.

"What? Louis, I can't go there! For one, I don't think I can afford it, and two, I'm pretty sure I don't even own a suit!" Niall exclaims.

Louis blinks at him as he bends down to pick up Niall's key.

"I never said you were paying for anything, Niall. Besides, you don't need a suit. What you're wearing looks fine to me," Louis tells him, giving Niall an obvious once-over.

Niall bites back the noise that wants to escape him at that and continues his arguement.

"Louis, no. That's, like, super fancy. I'm pretty sure a meal would cost more than my entire outfit. Can't we just go to Nando's or something?" Niall pleads.

Louis purses his lips but then sighs.

"Fine. But only because you're so pretty when you beg," Louis quips, pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

Niall feels his face flush for what must be the hundreth time since meeting Louis. Also, his jeans are a bit tighter in the crotch area than before, because fuck, that's- that's sexual, what Louis just said. Is Louis flirting with him?

"Okay, we have Nando's booked for lunch. Happy, Blondie?" Louis teases.

"'M not actually blond, you know," Niall mumbles.

"You're not?" Louis asks, his eyes shining with interest.

"I have brown hair naturally. Started bleaching it years ago," Niall confirms.

"Fuck, I bet you look amazing with brown hair, babe. Is it dark?" Louis asks.

"Almost black," Niall answers, sure Louis is flirting with him now.

"I'd love to see that some day, love," Louis tells him as he guides Niall down the stairs, keeping a firm grasp on his arm to make sure he doesn't fall.

"Probably will at some point. 'M getting a bit tired of the blond," Niall confides.

The drive to the restaurant is filled with chatter between the two of them, with a few flirty comments thrown in there from both of them. Niall's sure that if someone saw them, they'd think they were dating(well, if they didn't recognize Louis. Or maybe they would anyways, since Louis' recently come out). Regardless, the ride is fun and comfortable for Niall.

When Louis pulls in to Nando's, he parks the car and quickly rushes over to Niall's side to help him out, letting the faux blond lean on him as Louis grabs the crutches out of the back seat.

They enter the restaurant together, Louis holding the door open for him, and Niall sees that the entire place is empty, except for Liam and Harry. Niall turns to Louis, finally piecing together what happened.

"So this is what you meant when you said you booked it for lunch," Niall says flatly.

"Well, yeah. We're famous, babe. We can't just go anywhere, unfortunately," Louis replies as he guides Niall to the table Liam and Harry are at with a hand resting warmly on the small of his back.

"I can understand that, but this seems a bit much, don't you think?" Niall grumbles.

"You'll learn eventually, young Niall," Louis laughs.

"Hey, Lou. Hey, Niall. You feeling better? Gave us all quite a scare when you fainted earlier," Liam greets as Niall slides into the booth after Louis out of habit. His claustrophobia still hasn't eased up after all these years, and he'd really rather not mess up this band bonding experience by having a panic attack.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Dunno why I fainted like that. Overwhelmed, probably. Sorry to worry you all."

"Don't worry about it, Niall. You scared Louis the most, though. Proper freaked out when you collapsed into his arms," Harry tells him conspiratorially, leaning forward.

"H, why'd you have to tell him that? I'm trying to make him think I'm cool! Don't ruin me chances," Louis whines.

Niall giggles, and then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth. That did not just happen.

"Aw, babe! That was so cute," Louis coos, ruffling his hair.

"Hey! Hands off the hair! I spent a good seven minutes on this, thank you," Niall pouts, slapping Louis' hand away playfully.

"You two are so cute together," Harry says with a smile.

Niall's face is going to get a sunburn with how much it's turned red today. He's sure of it.

The waiter comes over and takes their drink orders then, and everyone finally looks at the menu. Niall already knows what he wants, but he still looks over the menu to see if anything's change since last week. It hasn't.

"Didn't think there could ever be so much chicken on one menu," Liam murmurs.

"You've never been to Nando's?" Niall asks, aghast.

Liam shakes his head.

"Don't think I've ever been, either. Have you been, Lou?" Harry asks.

"Never," Louis answers.

"New band tradition: we come to Nando's at least once a month together. How are you lads even British?"

"To be fair, you're Irish. Who are you to tell us that we're not British?" Harry drawls.

"Who are you to have never been to Nando's?" Niall shoots back.

"Passionate about chicken, love?" Louis asks, looking thoroughly amused.

"I'm passionate about food in general, Lewis. Get your facts straight," Niall quips. After a pause, he continues. "Or, maybe don't. Kind of contradictory, innit?"

Louis bursts into laughter.

"I'm gonna keep you, Niall Horan."

~

When Niall goes home to see his family, the rest of the lads somehow end up coming with him. He's not quite sure how that happened, how they convinced him it was a good idea, but the flight is fun.

They were all very adamant about meeting his family when he told them he was going home for a bit to break the news in person that he was now in an international boy band, and Niall couldn't for the life of him deny them that, even if it was probably a bad idea.

When the car pulls up to his parents' house, they all file out and follow Niall to the door, even if it's a bit slow with him still on his crutches for another week or so. They don't complain about it, though.

Niall knocks on the door, suddenly nervous. He somehow forgot to tell his mum that he'd hurt himself in all the confusion, didn't want to worry her, and now he's about to drop a huge bomb on her. He just hopes she doesn't embarrass him too much.

The door opens and Maura is about to greet Niall when her eyes suddenly widen.

"Niall? Why are you on crutches? And why is that boy band you like so much standing behind you?" his mum asks, sounding faint.

Niall laughs nervously.

"Could we come in first, Mum? We have some things to tell you, and it might be a bit hard to swallow. Is Dad here?" Niall asks.

Maura quickly moves out of the doorway to let them in, and follows them into the living room.

"Your father is still at work, at the moment, but he should be home soon," Maura answers a bit distractedly. "Would any of you like something to drink?"

Liam and Harry both shake their heads.

"Tea would be lovely, Mrs. Horan," Louis says, smiling sweetly.

"Right away, dear. Yorkshire, two sugars, no milk, yeah?" Maura asks.

Louis looks surprised.

"Yeah, actually. How did you know?" Louis asks in return.

"Niall here is a bit obsessed," Maura says fondly, though there's a teasing tone to her voice.

Louis looks at Niall with a wicked grin.

"Aw, you know me favorite tea, babe? That's so cute!" Louis coos.

Niall feels his face heat up and buries his face in his hands.

"Mum!" Niall whines, mortified.

Maura just laughs and walks away to the kitchen.

"So, you weren't lying when you said you were a fanboy?" Louis says teasingly.

Niall lets out a noise that sounds embarrassingly like a whimper.

"'M not proud of it, okay? I was proper obsessed," Niall says, the words coming out muffled through his hands.

"Love, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe you were so drawn to us because you knew we were supposed to be together," Louis says softly.

"Maybe, but I'm so embarrassed," Niall whines. "I didn't want you to know about my One Direction obsession."

Harry snorts, probably at the unintentional rhyme, but everyone ignores him.

"What all do you know about us?" Liam asks, sounding curious.

Niall peeks up through his fingers to see they're all looking at him with genuine curiosity. He removes his hands and thinks.

"If I had to list out everything, we'd be here for days, so what specifically do you want to know?"

"How many siblings do I have?" Louis asks.

"You have six sisters and one brother, and from oldest to youngest there's Lottie, Fizzy, Daisy, Phoebe, Ernest, and Doris on your mother's side, and Georgia from your father's side," Niall answers promptly.

Louis stares at him for a moment before he nods.

"Yeah, that's right. What about Harry and Liam?"

"Harry has an older sister named Gemma, and Liam has two older sisters named Nicola and Ruth."

"Right. Do you know our birthdays?" Liam asks.

"Louis was born December 24th, 1991, Liam was born August 29th, 1993, and Harry was born February 2nd, 1994."

"What's your birthday?" Harry asks.

"September 13th, 1993," Niall replies.

"Really? You look younger than Harry. That makes you 22 now?" Louis says, seeming surprised.

Niall nods.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Makes it hard to pull at pubs when everyone has to ask if you're even legal," Niall says jokingly.

Louis frowns at that, but doesn't comment, surprisingly.

"What's your favorite song of ours?" Louis asks instead.

Niall frowns.

"Don't ask me that! It's like trying to choose your favorite food!"

"Think you're the only one who has that problem, mate," Liam tells him with a teasing smile. "What's your least favorite song, then?"

"Stockholm Syndrome," Niall answers immediately, not even pausing to think about it, because he hates that song.

Harry pouts.

"What? Why? I loved writing that song!" Harry asks.

Niall shifts on the sofa before he shrugs.

"Sorry, mate. Dunno why I don't like it."

"What your favorite song on our most recent album?" Louis asks, probably sensing that Niall is uncomfortable.

Niall frowns, thinking.

"They're all really good. Don't know if I can pick just one," Niall admits. "I quite like A.M., though. 'S sad."

"Sad?" Harry asks, dropping his pout.

"Yeah. Just kind of gave me that vibe. It's reminiscent, yeah? Reminiscing is always kind of sad, innit?" Niall says quietly. "I think the thing that really made it sound sad for me was Louis' vocals. Don't know if that was intentional or not."

Louis perks up at that.

"Yeah?"

Niall nods, feeling his cheeks heat up again. He's always loved how expressive Louis' voice is. Made him cry sometimes, just listening to his singing.

"Made me cry a bunch over the years," Niall replies.

"Well, you're gonna have to make up all those tears, Tommo," Liam teases.

"What about on Four?" Louis asks, flipping Liam off.

Niall feels his ears turn red from how much he blushes. His first instinct is to say No Control, because Niall will admit, if only to himself, that he's had a good few wanks to that song, listening to Louis sing about early morning blow jobs, but he quickly defers to another of his favorites.

"Fool's Gold, probably. It's just kind of one of those songs that you can relate to easily."

Louis looks at him closely, seeming like he's trying to figure something out, but Liam asks him another question.

"And on Midnight Memories?"

Niall hums as he thinks for a moment.

"Something Great is a good one. Makes me cry every time I listen to it," Niall admits with a nervous laugh.

Niall sees Louis frown and open his mouth to say something, but Maura comes back with his tea then.

"Thank you, Mrs. Horan. You're a doll," Louis says, flashing her a smile.

"Oh, please. Call me Maura. I feel like I know you boys already from how much Niall talks about you," Maura tells him, laughing lightly.

"Mum!" Niall groans.

Maura just laughs and waves him off as she sits down in the chair, since Niall and the other lads are taking up the entire sofa.

"Now, while we wait for your father to get home, why don't you play for us, Niall? It's been so long since I've heard you sing."

"Mum, I'm sure they don't want to hear me sing," Niall protests.

"Nonsense. You're a lovely singer," Maura tells him.

"Smart woman, your mum is," Louis says teasingly. "I, for one, would love to hear you since again, babe."

"Yeah. We've only heard you sing once before. Sing us something else," Liam insists.

Niall sighs and pulls himself up from the sofa.

"I'll be right back with me guitar, then," Niall mumbles, limping to his old room, which his mum never converted when he moved out, probably in the hopes that he'd come back. Niall tries not to feel guilty about that.

He has another guitar back in London, but he still has another here because him mum loves to hear him play when he visits.

Niall grabs his guitar case and awkwardly makes his way back to the living room, having a bit of trouble holding the case and the crutch at the same time. When Niall makes it to the living room, he nearly drops the guitar and falls, so Louis quickly gets up and takes the case, steadying Niall.

"Should have just asked for help, love," Louis scolds him.

Niall shrugs and lets Louis help him over to the sofa, taking the case and opening it when Louis hands it to him. He quickly sets to tuning the guitar, and once it's done, he looks to his mum.

"What do you want to hear?" Niall asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe that one you always like to play? The sad one about unrequited love?"

Niall nods, feeling a bit nervous. He hopes he doesn't disappoint Louis, Liam, and Harry with this.

As Niall plays the opening chords to the song, he sees them all perk up in interest and recognition. It's a more mellowed out version, more of a campfire version with only his guitar to make music, but it's recognizable and Niall enjoys it. He just hopes the others like it, as well. Or, well, at least don't hate it.

"I'm broken.  
Do you hear me?  
I'm blinded,  
'Cause you are everything I see.

"I'm dancing,  
Alone.  
I'm praying,  
That your heart will just turn around.

"And as I walk up to you door,  
My head turns to face the floor,  
'Cause I can't look you in the eyes and say:

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside.  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this."

Niall takes a deep breath before he begins the next part, to settle his nerves. This is probably the most emotional part for him, the one he relates most to.

"If I'm louder,  
Would you see me?  
Would you lay down,  
In my arms and rescue me?

"'Cause we are,  
The same.  
You save me,  
But when you leave, it's gone again."

Niall's a bit more nervous to sing the next bit, because it's Louis' part, and it feels wrong to try to sing it. Regardless, Niall pushes through.

"And then I see you on the street,  
In his arms. I get weak,  
My body fails, I'm on my knees,  
Praying.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this.

"Yeah, I've never had the words to say,  
But now I'm asking you to stay,  
For a little while inside my arms.

"And as you close your eyes tonight,  
I pray that you will see the light,  
That's shining from the stars above.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this.

"When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight,  
It just won't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this, yeah.

"When he lays you down, I might just die inside,  
It just don't feel right,  
'Cause I can love you more than this,  
Can love you more than this."

The room is quiet for a few seconds after Niall finishes, and it's making his anxiety rise. Did they not like it? Did they hate it? Did he make a fool of himself?

"Oh, fuck, that was amazing, love. Sang it like you owned it," Louis breathes. "Dunno why you need the rest of us. Could be a solo artist right now and make it bigger than us."

Niall ducks his head in embarrassment, but feels a wide grin take over his face.

"That's not true. You lads are lovely to look at. Don't sing half-bad, either," Niall teases.

Niall sees his mum smiling at them from the corner of his eye, but he can't focus on that, because Louis' pulling him into a headlock and giving him a noogie.

"Oi!" Niall squawks, batting at Louis.

"Learn to take a compliment, Neil! I'll tickle you until you piss your pants!" Louis threatens, moving his hands down to Niall's sides and wiggling his fingers.

Niall howls with laughter, trying to get away from Louis' devious fingers, and when he pleads with Liam and Harry to save him, they just laugh at him, the fuckers.

Niall's never been happier in his life.

~

Niall's been back in London for a few days when he realizes his notebook is still missing.

If he thinks back, he knows it was missing before he went to visit his parents(who took the news of Niall being in One Direction now rather well, in his opinion, even if his mum cried). Niall tries to remember when he last had it, and realizes it was that day he met the lads and hurt his knee again.

So, Niall texts Nick to ask him if he's seen his notebook.

'wey hey ! u seen my notebook ?'

Nick send him a message back almost immediately.

'No, y?'

'think i left it there whn i fcked up my knee . u seen it at wrk ?'

'No, srru. Maybe ask 1 of the lads? Think they found it'

'can do ! pub tnite ?'

'Sure. Just me & u?'

'may invite th lads . tht cool ?'

Nick sends him a thumbs up emoji, so Niall sends him the cute double heart emoji and the poop emoji back.

Niall laughs when Nick sends him the slanty eyed emoji that seems to say 'I'm sick of your shit, but I love you anyway', but doesn't text him back. Instead, he calls up Louis, which is a thing he can do now.

"How is my favorite Irish band mate today?" Louis asks when he picks up.

"I'm your only Irish band mate," Niall points out, rolling his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Neil. That doesn't mean you're not my favorite," Louis snarks back.

Niall looks around warily, suddenly sure Louis' somehow set up cameras and can see him sitting naked on his sofa.

"Stop being paranoid, Niall. It's not like I have cameras set up in your house," Louis says.

"What, are you a mind reader now, too?" Niall asks suspiciously.

"No, you're just an open book, love," Louis replies, sounding fond.

Niall just sits there, smiling like an idiot.

"Not that I don't love getting phone calls from you, but did you need something, babe?" Louis asks after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, right. Do you wanna come with me and Nick to a pub tonight? With Harry and Liam, too, of course, if they're not busy."

"I'd love to, actually. Li and Haz have plans tonight, though. What's the occasion?"

"I'm Irish. Do I need any other justification?" Niall grins.

"No, I suppose not," Louis replies, laughing. "Where and when?"

Once they've finished making plans, they just chat for a bit before Louis suddenly asks, "You wanna come over for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure. Now?" Niall asks, standing from the sofa. He's done with the crutches for now, but he has to be careful still, or his knee aches something awful.

"Yeah, if you're not busy," Louis says.

"No, I'm not busy. I'll just get dressed and take the tube over."

Louis' quiet for a moment.

"Get dressed? Niall Horan, are you naked?" Louis asks teasingly.

Niall shrugs.

"Might be. Never got dressed when I got out of the shower," Niall quips, making his way to his bedroom. "You might not want to sit on me sofa next time you come over. Me bare arse has been all over it."

Louis laughs, but it sounds a bit strained.

"I'm gonna come get you. I don't want you taking the tube with your knee still bothering you."

"Lou, it's fine. I'm already off me crutches," Niall protests, though it's half-hearted. He'd love it if Louis came to pick him up.

"Nope. Not taking no for an answer. I'll be over in fifteen minutes, so get your pale arse in gear and get dressed."

Niall just laughs.

"Yes, Daddy," Niall says mockingly.

Niall hears Louis choke, interestingly enough.

"Jesus Christ, Niall! You can't just say shit like that!" Louis tells him, his voice sounding a bit rough.

And, oh. It sort of clicks for him. Does Louis have a Daddy kink? Niall had only said it jokingly, but now that he thinks about it, Louis sort of is Daddy material.

Niall feels his cock stir a bit in interest, but he calms himself. He can't keep from teasing Louis, though.

"Does Louis Tomlinson have a Daddy kink?" Niall goads.

"Fuck, Niall. Don't, okay?" Louis pleads, a bit of a whine in his voice.

"Okay, Daddy. See you when you get here!"

And with that, Niall ends the call and has a quick wank before getting dressed.

~

When Louis picks him up, Niall finds he can't stop taking quick glances at him.

He looks good, is the thing. So well put together. Niall's always thought he was attractive, but he can't get how much Louis now looks like a proper Daddy out of his head. His scruff is neatly trimmed, and his arms look huge in his muscle shirt. His hair is soft and messy with his bangs falling over his forehead and he just looks so, well, good, for lack of a better term.

If Louis notices his staring, he doesn't mention it.

"So, I was thinking we could sit down and write a song together. What do you think?" Louis asks.

"I'd love to, but that reminds me. Have you seen a blue notebook with lyrics in it? Can't seem to find it."

Louis turns to him with wide eyes when he stops at a stop sign.

"That was yours?" Louis asks, sounding a bit breathless.

"So you have seen it?" Niall asks in confusion.

"Yeah, I found it when we came in for that interview with Nick. Sort of nicked it by mistake when Nick rushed out of the room after you. Didn't realize I still had it until I left the hospital. Sorry about that." Louis shrugs, not seeming all that apologetic as he starts driving again. "When I saw the lyrics, I just couldn't help meself. I had to read more. Hope you don't mind."

"I'd rather you found it than someone who would try and steal me songs. They're really personal."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. Is everything okay? Most of your songs are really sad, and your favorites of our songs are sad, too."

Niall shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"I'm fine. Nothing to worry about," Niall says, and it only feels like half a lie, though he's unsure of which part is the lie and which part is the truth.

Louis frowns, darting his eyes over to look at him.

"Are you sure?" Louis asks uncertainly.

"Fuck, what do you want me to say, Louis? That I hated my life before I met you? That I'm lonely? That I get pissed off me arse to forget the pain of feeling so inadequate that I just want to give up?" Niall explodes, and maybe it's not fair for him to go off on Louis when he's just concerned for him, but he's been bottling this up for years.

Louis quickly finds a place to pull over, in some abandoned parking lot, and turns to Niall with wide eyes.

"Niall...," Louis whispers. "You can talk to me, okay?"

Louis just looks so sincere and concerned and Niall wants to, he does, but he doesn't know how. He's so used to bottling everything up and being the happy one, the one who's always up for a laugh, that he doesn't know how to talk about those things he hides away.

"How?" Niall whispers. "How do I do that?"

"Oh, love, come here," Louis says softly, taking off his seatbelt and reaching out to Niall with one hand and patting his lap with the other in an obvious gesture for Niall to sit in his lap for a cuddle.

Niall can't help himself. He unbuckles his own seatbelt and climbs over the center console, settling himself carefully in Louis' lap sideways with his back to the door. Louis' arms come up to embrace Niall, just rubbing his hands soothingly up and down his back as Niall curls up into his chest. It's a bit awkward, with Niall being slightly bigger than Louis, but he doesn't care. He's feeling a bit unstable right now.

Niall doesn't know how long they sit there in silence, but he calmed down a while ago and is just enjoying being in Louis' arms now.

"What happened, love?" Louis murmurs. "What hurt you so much that you don't know how to talk about your problems?"

Niall pulls away a bit to look at Louis.

"I- I don't- I'm not- Louis," Niall whines, not sure how to answer.

"It's okay, love. Take your time. I can wait."

Niall bites his lower lip as he tries to organize his thoughts to answer Louis' question. It takes a few minutes, but finally, Niall thinks he's found the answer. Or, at least, an answer he's willing to share.

"I think it may have been when I was eliminated," Niall says quietly. "I was young and naïve and full of hopes and dreams, and when I was sent home, I just sort of didn't know how to process it all."

Louis hums encouragingly, so Niall continues.

"For a while, I considered just giving up on music entirely. It had burned me, wanting something so much, only for it to be taken away from me," Niall tells him, watching as Louis' eyes widen.

"Oh, no. Love, I'm so sorry. Things are better now, though?" Louis asks, sounding pained. Pained for him.

"Things are a lot better now, Lou. My life has been so much happier since I met you. And Liam and Harry," Niall tacks on, hoping Louis didn't notice the pause.

"I'm glad, then. It's not right for someone like you to feel anything but happy. You deserve to be happy, Niall Horan," Louis tells him, and Niall can see that he's entirely sincere. It brings tears to his eyes.

"Thank you, Lou. That really means a lot to me," Niall whispers.

"Of course, love. Do you want me to take you home?" Louis asks gently.

"No, please. Can we still hang out?"

Even Niall can hear the pleading note in his voice.

"Of course we can. Are you okay now? Or can we cuddle more at home?"

Niall feels a strange warmth fill his chest at Louis referring to his house as home, like it applies to both of them, even if he's certain the older man doesn't mean it that way.

"I'm okay now. I'd love to cuddle more when we get to your place."

Louis watches him with warm affection as he awkwardly climbs back into his own seat and puts his seatbelt back on. Niall feels his heartbeat pick up seeing it. And that's when Niall knows he's fucked.

He's in love with Louis Tomlinson.

~

When they finally arrive at Louis' house, they spend their time cuddling and just talking.

They continue to flirt a bit, but Niall stays away from the Daddy topic, since it wouldn't do to get hard when he's so close to Louis. He can't seem to stop thinking about it, but Niall forces those thoughts back as best he can.

Louis makes it so hard, though. He's stupidly attractive, and his scruff is scratchy and feels amazing against his bare skin. Louis' hair is even more messy than before from their tickle fight earlier, which had Niall howling with laughter and tears streaming down his face. They'd had to put an end to it when Niall had almost fallen off the sofa, and now they're just cuddling in silence, Louis trailing his fingers lightly down Niall's spine.

"Tell me something I don't already know," Niall mumbles, pushing his face deeper into Louis' chest.

"What do you want to know?" Louis asks, sounding lazy and a bit sleepy.

"When did you know? That you were, you know, gay?" Niall asks hesitantly, looking up at Louis. "Can I ask that?"

"Of course you can ask, love. I suppose it's only fair. Tit for tat, you know?" Louis replies.

They lie there in silence for a few moments while Louis gathers his thoughts, and Niall is content with it.

"Suppose I always knew," Louis begins. "When I was younger, I would always stare more at the boys than the girls. Girls never interested me, but I figured it was a phase. Never really clicked until puberty kicked in and I was popping a boner watching David Beckham run around the football field with sweat running down his skin. Was probably around fourteen, then."

Niall blinks and props his chin up on Louis' chest to look up at the older man.

"Then what about Eleanor? And Hannah? And that one girl at the pool over the summer?" Niall asks.

He immediately wants to smack himself. Sure, Niall could blame his knowledge of Louis' love life on his obsession with One Direction, but Niall's not sure he would have even known about the girl at the pool if he didn't fancy Louis. He doesn't keep up to date with all of Liam and Harry's flings, though he's aware of the big ones, like Danielle and Sophia for Liam and Taylor Swift and Caroline Flack and Kendall Jenner for Harry.

Louis meets his eyes with a wicked grin.

"Invested in my love life, babe?" Louis asks teasingly.

Niall feels his face burn with embarrassment and buries it in Louis' chest. Once he figures out that Niall's not going to reply, Louis speaks.

"Hannah was a genuine girlfriend at the time, because I was sort of in denial about being gay, but eventually I had to break it off when I accepted it. Eleanor was a contracted girlfriend, because management didn't want me coming out publicly yet. That was okay, since she was a good friend. The girl at the pool was also management's doing, but soon after, I started fighting a lot more to come out. They eventually agreed for me to come out before the album dropped, when we were doing all our interviews and such, to increase interest in us, which I don't agree with, by the way, but I was just happy to be able to come out. I was sick of hiding such a big part of me."

Niall frowns into Louis' shirt.

"Do you think management would make me hide?" Niall asks, and immediately wants to take it back. That sounds selfish, even if he's genuinely worried about it. He's always been open about that part of himself. Still, Louis just shared something personal with him, and the first thing he says in response is about himself. Is he really so self-centered?

Louis pulls Niall's head up so that he can meet his eyes, a fierce look on his face.

"Babe, I won't let them do that, I assure you. I don't want you to go through the same thing I did."

Niall feels a small smile begin to form on his lips.

"Thank you. Really. Means a lot to me," Niall tells him, a warm feeling building up in his chest. It's easy to tell that Louis cares for him, even if that's a daunting thought, and it makes him happy.

"'Course, love. I just want you to be happy."

And Niall knows he means it. Despite all his sharp edges and his quicksilver tongue, Louis really does mean it. Total softie inside.

Niall just smiles up at him, happier than he's ever been in his life.

~

When they leave for the pub, a bit of a higher class one that caters specifically to celebrities, it's already dark out.

Louis calls a car for them, since they're both likely to drink themselves stupid tonight. They spend the entire ride just talking, and it's nice. Louis tells him about his family, and Niall shares some things about his life, which Louis seems to really enjoy.

"Did you really get detention for writing lyrics in class?" Louis asks, sounding incredulous.

Niall laughs.

"Yeah. Me Maths teacher hated me. Couldn't stand me presence, since she had Greg a few years before, and he was really good at Maths. Total teacher's pet, that one. I nearly failed her class and always ate during class, since it was last period and I had an early lunch time. Any time she'd catch me not working on class work, she'd write me up. Sometimes, even laughing got me detention. Told me I was a disruption to the class," Niall tells him, amused with the memory.

Louis frowns, however.

"How could anyone hate you? You're a literal ball of sunshine," Louis says.

Niall just laughs and waves it off.

"I know I can get kind of annoyingly cheerful. Rubs people the wrong way sometimes."

Niall shrugs, and Louis' frown deepens. Just when he opens his mouth, though, the car comes to a stop and the driver announces that they've arrived.

Louis shoots him a look that seems to say he's not going to forget this, and they will be talking about it later, which has Niall rolling his eyes.

They get out of the car and watch as it drives off before they enter the pub, Niall leading the way towards his and Nick's usual booth. Nick had to get him in the first few times, because he's not a celebrity, but now he's been there so often that the bouncer lets him in without even stopping him. Even gives a little wave and a wink when they pass by, which has Louis stepping closer and resting a hand on the small of his back, much to the faux blond's amusement. Seems Louis' the jealous type.

When they get to the booth, Louis slides in on the opposite side of Nick and Niall slides in after him.

"Took you long enough. Had to stop fucking eventually, yeah?" Nick teases.

"Nick, shut the fuck up!" Niall whines in mortification.

"Hey, don't be mean to me favorite Irish band mate," Louis warns, looking like he's only half-joking.

"Lou, I'm your only Irish band mate. I've already explained this to you," Niall tells him.

"And I already explained to you that, that doesn't mean you're not me favorite," Louis quips.

Niall just rolls his eyes and turns to Nick, who's watching them with curiosity and amusement.

"Get me a pint, you fucker," Niall pouts.

Nick rolls his eyes but makes his way out of the booth.

"If I come back to you two fucking, I'm calling off our friendship, Niall. Never talking to you again," Nick deadpans as he leaves.

Niall feels his cheeks flush and buries his face in his hands.

"Why's he so sure we're fucking?" Louis asks, sounding quizzical, but no less amused than before.

Niall looks up from between his fingers.

"May have gotten drunk one night and talked his ear off about you," Niall mumbles, half-hoping Louis doesn't hear.

"Yeah? What about me?" Louis asks with a sharp grin.

"Your eyelashes and your scruff and your eyes and your bum and your hair and your humor and your laugh and your wit and your thighs and your biceps and your voice and your singing?" Niall lists off quickly, some of his words bleeding together.

Louis blinks, like he's trying to process everything Niall just said.

"So, pretty much everything about me? Is that right?"

Niall nods.

"Had a proper crush, I think," Niall says, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. He did not just say that.

"Had? You don't have a crush on me anymore?" Louis asks, looking vaguely disappointed for a minute.

Niall's sort of at a crossroads. They've only just met a few weeks ago, but Niall's sure he loves him. But, since they only met a few weeks sgo, it's definitely too soon to say something like that. Still, Niall thinks Louis might like him a bit, so he doesn't want to say no and possibly close that door forever.

Before Niall can make a decision, Nick comes back, setting Niall's pint in front of him, and sliding a glass full of some kind of amber liquid towards Louis, keeping a beer bottle for himself.

"First round's on me, I guess. Figure it's only fair," Nick says as he slides back into his seat.

"What is that?" Niall asks, nodding to Louis' tumbler as he takes a gulp of his own drink.

"Scotch. Louis here has a thing for old whiskey," Nick answers.

And, well, fuck. The only thing Niall can think of is Louis sitting in a big, comfy chair with a suit on, his tie loosened, having a drink by the fire. The image screams Daddy, and Niall has to bite his lower lip hard to keep from moaning at the thought.

"This one's an eighteen year old one, so it's technically legal," Nick jokes.

Louis picks up his tumbler and swirls the liquid inside for a moment before he takes a small sip. He hums in approval.

"This one's one of me favorites," Louis comments.

"It's the only one I'm buying you. Being a radio show host doesn't pay as well as you'd think," Nick tells him.

Louis just laughs and turns to Niall.

"What's up, babe? You got all quiet," Louis asks.

Niall releases his lower lip from between his teeth and sees Louis' gaze dart down for a moment before settling back on his eyes.

"'M fine," Niall says, having to clear his throat when his voice comes out a bit rough. "Just kind of tired."

And yeah, that's true. Lounging around all day with Louis doing little more than talking and cuddling made him sleepy. He'd probably be perfectly content to go to sleep right now, if Louis held him in his arms and cuddled with him again.

"You want to go home? We can do this some other time," Louis asks, setting his glass down.

Niall shakes his head.

"No, it's fine. I'm sure once I get a few beers in me, I'll be more awake," Niall replies.

Louis just nods in acceptance and pats Niall's thigh.

~

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he feels awful. His head's killing him, his eyes burn from the light when he opens them, and his mouth tastes like something died in it. A good night, then.

It's only when Niall stretches a bit that he realizes he's not alone in bed.

The faux blond stiffens, seeing the tattooed arm draped across his waist, feels the heat of someone's chest against his back. He has to check to make sure, but he's still wearing his pants, so he knows they didn't fuck, which, all things considered, is probably a good thing. He'd want to remember in absolute clarity if he and Louis ever fucked.

"Morning, babe. You awake?" Louis grumbles from behind him, pushing himself closer to Niall's back.

Niall shivers when he feels Louis' warm breath hitting the back of his neck.

"Yeah. 'M awake. Why am I here and not in me shitty bed?" Niall asks.

"By the time we left the pub, you were nearly passed out, so I just brought you back here. Hope you don't mind."

Niall shakes his head.

"Don't mind. What time is it?"

"Too early. Go back to bed, babe," Louis coaxes, tightening his hold around Niall's middle.

Niall shivers again, feeling Louis' hand spread across his stomach wide and presses himself back into the older man's heavy heat.

"Yeah, okay," Niall mumbles, his eyes already drifting shut.

~

"Tomorrow?" Niall repeats, his tone flat, belying his panic.

Simon just nods.

"What the fuck, Simon? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Niall's never had so much attention on him before. We need time to prepare him!" Louis snaps.

"The less time he has to freak out, the better," Simon tells them with a shrug.

"He has a fucking panic disorder, Simon! For fuck's sake. He's gonna have a panic attack!" Louis shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

That seems to make Simon pause, and he suddenly looks more apologetic than Niall's ever seen him in the past two months he's been reacquainted with him, or ever, now that Niall thinks about it. He wasn't sure Simon Cowell was even capable of feeling apologetic, which may be a bit of an unfair thought, now that Niall thinks about it.

"I didn't know. Sorry, Niall. There's no way to reschedule, however. I do hope you'll be able to pull through." Simon says.

Niall takes a shaky breath, forcing down his nerves.

"I can do it," Niall say, voice coming out stronger than he feels.

Louis still looks concerned for him, as well as Liam and Harry, but Louis looks especially concerned.

"Good. I'll send you the details later on today. We'll send a car for you in the morning," Simon tells him.

Niall just nods.

"He's staying with me tonight. He'll ride over with me tomorrow," Louis quickly cuts in.

Niall notices Harry and Liam exchange glances, like they're having a silent conversation. He's noticed them look like that occasionally, usually after Louis blatantly flirts with him, so Niall's more or less used to it. He can probably guess what those looks mean, but Louis and him are just friends, even if Niall's pretty sure their feelings are mutual. Maybe Niall feels more for Louis than Louis feels for him, though.

Simon also looks at them with a strange glint in his eyes, like he's fondly exasperated, and that confuses Niall.

"Alright. Well, off with you, then. I'll see you lot tomorrow."

Simon waves his hand and dismisses them, so they all file out of his office, where they'd held their meeting.

As soon as he steps out of the office, however, all of his nerves come back full force. Niall's breathing picks up as he struggles to calm himself, because how is he supposed to handle this? How is he supposed to-

Fuck, he can't breathe.

"Ni, babe, breathe with me. Breathe in, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four, five, six," Louis says gently, guiding him through his breathing exercises.

Liam and Harry watch quietly as Louis calms Niall down from the edge of his panic attack. It's not a common occurance, but it's happened before, usually when Niall gets overwhelmed and stuck in his own head. Liam and Harry have witnessed this before, so Niall wouldn't think anything of it, if he could think past Louis' voice soothing him and his own breathing.

It takes a good few minutes, but when Niall can breathe easy again, without Louis guiding him and whispering praise into his ear, the faux blond slumps againt Louis.

Louis doesn't complain about how heavy he is, despite Niall being sure that he is, as he's not supporting himself at all. He just wraps his arms securely around Niall and runs his fingers through his hair, fucking up his quiff, but Niall doesn't care right now. The comfort feels nice.

"You okay now, love?" Louis murmurs.

Niall nods.

"'M fine now. Thank you, Lou," Niall whispers. "You always take such good care of me."

"Of course I do. I care about you, Niall. How could I not take care of you?" Louis says fondly.

Niall smiles and finally stands on his own.

"So, we still going to Nando's?" Niall asks cheerfully.

Louis rolls his eyes.

"Yes, we'll get you your bloody chicken, you twat," Louis teases.

Niall knows they'll end up talking more about tomorrow when they get back to Louis', which has become a sort of home away from home with how often he stays there. To be honest, he sleeps in Louis' bed more often than his own, which his body is thankful for. His bed is awful, while Louis' is perfect.

(He firmly pushes thoughts of moving in together out of his head.)

~

Once Niall and Louis say goodbye to Liam and Harry, they start on their way home. Or, well, on their way to Louis' house. While they were eating(Louis had somehow managed to book the entire restaurant again without Niall's knowledge), the email had come in with tomorrow's details, but Louis had quickly confiscated his phone. He'd said they would go over it when they got home, which had Niall agreeing easily enough, because he loves it when Louis calls his house 'home', like it includes Niall.

They chat about nothing important as Louis makes his way through the late afternoon traffic, occasionally turning up the radio when they like a particular song and singing along. Niall can't help but notice how well he and Louis harmonize, their voices blending together seamlessly. It's times like this that Niall knows he's found his place. He belongs in One Direction.

They've been working on giving Niall parts in each of their songs, which is a daunting task, as there's just so many songs, but they make it a point to figure out at least one song a day. So far, Niall has parts for all of their most popular songs, ones they perform each time for their concerts, and sure, Niall is nervous he's going to fuck up the songs, but Louis always reassures him that he sounds amazing, and that really bolsters his confidence.

When Niall had to learn his parts in No Control, he'd nearly combusted. Louis had teased him mercilessly, but he'd also given Niall these dark looks that had Niall squirming a bit. Niall remembers Harry making a joke about them not wanting to see them fuck in front of him and Liam, which had Niall whining in embarrassment, his face flushed a bright red.

(Now that Niall thinks about it, they're not really all that discreet. Not if more than one of their mutual friends jokes about not wanting to see them have sex, at least. Niall also can't find it in himself to care all that much.)

Louis always praises him for how well he sings his parts, though. Tells him that he sings them like he had been doing it from the start. It gives Niall this warm feeling in his chest each and every time, and it never gets old, never goes away. It's mind-boggling how much Niall loves Louis.

When they finally get back to Louis' house, Niall feels trepidation fill him, but he pushes it down as much as he can. He doesn't need to have another panic attack.

Louis seems to sense it anyway, because when he and Niall enter, he pulls Niall to his room and cuddles with him on the bed.

"Are you really alright, love?" Louis murmurs, watching his face closely.

Niall shrugs as best he can in Louis' arms while lying on the bed.

"Just a bit nervous, I think. Don't want to fuck it up. What if they hate me?" Niall mumbles, his eyes drifting away from Louis'.

"How could anyone hate you?" Louis says, as he always does when Niall brings it up. "Yeah, some of the journos are cunts, and some of the fans may not be able to understand immediately, but once they see you and give you a chance, there's not a doubt in me mind that they'll love you."

Niall frowns.

"I'm just a nobody, though. They'll think I'm trying to replace Zayn," Niall replies. He's given it a lot of thought, and he knows that's what he'd think if it were someone else.

"Ni, no. Nobody can replace Zayn. You were meant to be with us from the beginning, and we'll explain that. Some people might not believe it, and some may be absolute tossers to you, but Harry, Liam and I won't let them do that to you. We'll support you, yeah? You belong in One Direction just as much as the rest of us, maybe even more," Louis tells him gently, though there's a fierce look in his eyes that seems to tell Niall that he'll protect the younger man.

"Thank you, Lou. Love- Love the way you treat me," Niall says, stumbling over his words a bit. He almost told Louis that he loves him, and that has his heart racing.

Louis' eyes shine, like he knows what Niall actually meant, but he doesn't press it.

"Just treat you the way you deserve to be treated, love," Louis replies, voice soft.

They just lie there and cuddle in silence, until they eventually drift off to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be hard, but Niall knows Louis will support him. The other lads will, too.

~

The next morning is full of nerves and anxiety and dizzying motion.

Niall feels like he's going to be sick, and Louis' already had to calm him down three times, once before the car even got there to pick them up. It's a good thing Niall's got some clothes already in a drawer at Louis' house, otherwise he'd have stressed even more about it.

They're going to make the announcement today. They're going to tell the world that Niall has joined One Direction, and Niall has never been more nervous in his life. They're even going to play a song after the announcement, which is taking place at BBC Radio 1 with Nick, thankfully, so that's less of a worry for Niall. It's still nerve-wracking, knowing it's going to be in front of a small audience and everything's going to be broadcasted on television and online.

(If Niall's honest, he's surprised Simon waited this long to introduce him to world. Of course, the older man had explained that he'd wanted to wait until Niall was in better health to do so, which Niall took to mean 'a cripple is bad for business'. Again, that may be a bit of a harsh thought to have against the man who made it possible for Niall to have this opportunity.)

"Niall, it's going to be okay, yeah? We're gonna all be here, and Nick's a great interviewer, despite how much of a wanker he is," Louis tells him, trying to calm him down.

Niall manages a weak smile, but his nerves don't go away.

"Thanks, but 'm still nervous. They're gonna hate me, Lou!" Niall mumbles.

"Hush. They'll love you just as much as I- the lads and I do. You're gonna do great, love. Just trust yourself and try to forget about everything else, yeah? Just focus on me, okay?" Louis tells him.

Niall nods, still nervous, but it's starting to ease up a bit now. Louis will be there, and so will Liam, Harry, and Nick. He'll be surrounded by some of his best friends. Everything's going to be okay.

Niall's nerves come back when Louis has to leave him, though. He, Harry, and Liam are going to go out first and talk with Nick for a few minutes before Niall has to come out. He'll be able to watch them from the side as they talk, so he doesn't miss his cue, but he's still nervous.

"Just stay as calm as you can, okay, babe? You'll be back with us in just a few minutes," Louis reassures him, giving him a hug that doesn't last nearly as long as Niall would like.

Niall just nods, can't seem to muster a smile. Louis looks at him worriedly before a tech is ushering him to go stand with Liam and Harry, who were watching their exchange. Harry shoots him a smile and a thumbs up.

It seems to take forever before he's given his cue to go wait at the edge of backstage, even if Niall thinks Louis looks unfairly attractive when he laughs and shoots the shit with Nick. When it's time for him to enter, Niall takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes on Louis as he walks to the sofa, all the lads scooting over so Niall can sit beside Louis, closest to Nick, on the edge of the sofa. Once Niall sits down, Louis places a comforting hand on his thigh, squeezing a bit before he lays his arm around the sofa's back, curling around Niall's shoulders.

Niall looks up to Nick and shoots him a small smile.

"Hey, Nick. It's good to see you," Niall tells him, and it's true.

It's been about a week since they've hung out, as Niall's been busy with learning his parts, and he's missed the older man, not that he'd tell him. It'd give him a bigger head than he already has.

"It's good to see you, too, Ni. My new assistant keeps fucking up my coffee," Nick jokes, and Niall knows that's not true.

Nick doesn't even need an assistant, and Niall knows for a fact that the lazy fuck hasn't even tried to find a new one.

"Piss off," Niall tells him cheerfully.

The faux blond can hear the whispering of the audience, and it's making his anxiety rise, but Louis just lays his hand warmly on the back of his neck. Niall shivers and leans back into it.

"So, everyone's probably wondering why you're here today, Niall. Who wants to do the honors?"

"I will," Louis volunteers. He looks straight into the camera with more confidence than Niall thinks he, himself, would be capable of. "When One Direction was formed, we weren't meant to be a four-piece. We were actually supposed to have five members. Niall, here, is our lost member, and we only just recently were able to track him down. The fucker would be great at hide-and-seek," Louis says with a wink.

Niall laughs, though it comes out a bit choked. Even if Louis is obviously taking the piss, Niall knows it was his fault. He was the one who had multiple opportunities to meet them and set all this straight, but chose not to, because he was scared.

"Yeah, Niall's great," Liam chimes in. "Wish he'd been with us from the beginning. Some things just take time, though, I suppose."

"If anyone says anything nasty about Niall, you'll have to go through us," Harry warns in his deep voice.

Niall feels that warm feeling he's beginning to become familiar with rise up in his chest from how much these men actually care for him.

"So, does this mean he's officially joining One Direction now?" Nick asks, trying to get the interview back on track.

"Yeah," Louis answers. "We've been giving him parts and stuff, and you guys will not believe how well he just fits in with all of us. Voice of a bloody angel," Louis swears.

Niall's face heats up, but he still groans.

"Shouldn't have let you meet me mum," Niall complains, though he doesn't mean it. He loves that Louis' met his mum.

"She's a nice lady, your mum. We need to have her meet my, Harry's, and Liam's mums. I'm sure they'd get along quite well."

"She does seem to like them all," Niall agrees easily, because it's true.

"Will you boys be performing a song for us today?" Nick asks.

"Of course we are. Gotta let the world know how well our favorite Irish band mate sings."

"How many times do I have to explain that I'm your only Irish band mate?" Niall asks Louis with fond exasperation.

"How many times do I have to explain that, that doesn't mean you're not our favorite?" Louis shoots back, grinning at Niall.

Niall just laughs and shakes his head.

"We're gonna be performing a song Niall wrote today," Liam explains.

"Yeah, it's called Don't Forget Where You Belong. Think it would have gone over well on Midnight Memories," Harry adds.

And now Niall's nerves come back full force. It had taken them a while to convince Niall to allow them to sing this song on the show, but Louis eventually managed it. The rest of the lads had felt it would be the best song to introduce Niall into the world with, and Niall can't say he disagrees.

They'd split up the song to give everyone parts, and when Niall had heard the finished product, he'd burst into embarrassing tears. They'd all sounded so good together, is the thing.

"Well, let's get to that, yeah?" Nick suggests.

They all stand from the sofa and make their way over to the stage area, where Niall picks up his guitar, making sure it's still in tune.

He's just fiddling with it, as it's already in tune, when there's a warm hand placed on his back, startling him.

"Don't think too much about it, babe. Just like in practice, yeah? You're gonna do great," Louis tells him.

Niall nods and gives him a small smile in return.

When they get their cue to begin, Niall starts playing, and slowly feels his nerves disappear as he does. Music has always been his happy place, and Niall starts to relax into it.

His solo starts off a bit shaky, but his voice gets stronger the longer he sings. When they sing the chorus together, Niall's eyes get a bit wet with tears, because they just sound so lovely together, and that means the world to him. This band means the world to him.

When they finish, the audience is quiet for a moment before there's a sudden outbreak of clapping and shouts and whistles that have Niall burying his face in his hands as he sobs. Three sets of arms come to wrap around him as he cries, and Niall's never felt as happy as he does now.

~

Niall is back at Louis' again when he sees it.

Louis' off taking a shower while Niall just sits at the bar in the kitchen, eating some take-away Chinese Louis'd ordered before he got into the shower, and he nearly drops his phone in shock.

'One Direction replaces Zayn Malik with Irish Bumpkin'

Niall can't stop himself from reading the article, and he's in tears by the end of it. Why would they say such mean things about him? They called him an awful singer who wormed his way into a band he has no place in, insinuating that he'd done some sleeping around to get the chance, and that he'd never replace Zayn, wasn't even worth the dog shit on his shoe. They even went so far as to call his mum a whore who should have just had an abortion when she found out she was pregnant.

Niall still has tears streaming down his face when Louis comes in, but he doesn't hear him, because he's just searched his name and found more articles telling him similar things.

"Oh, fuck! Niall, what's wrong?" Louis shouts, sounding a bit panicked.

Niall looks up at Louis dully.

"I should go," Niall says, standing from his stool.

"No! You can't go! Not until you explain what's wrong!" Louis interjects, wrapping his arms around Niall.

The younger man struggles in Louis' hold, but he just tightens his arms around Niall. After a bit, Niall stops struggling and breaks down into ugly sobs.

"I don't belong here!" Niall cries. "They hate me, Louis!"

"Babe, calm down for me, please. What happened? You were just fine when I left you earlier," Louis asks, sounding a bit lost.

It takes a few seconds for Niall to calm down enough to get anything out around his tears.

"Someone tweeted me an article, and it's just so awful, Lou. They- They said-" Niall can't even explain, just pulls away from Louis and brings the article back up on his phone.

Niall hands the device to Louis, who takes it, but doesn't read it yet. He grabs Niall's hand and pulls him back to Louis' bed to cuddle before he even glances at what's written.

The older man's grip gets steadily tighter around Niall as he reads through it, his nostrils flaring. By the time he finishes, he's looking thoroughly furious.

"Niall, none of what The Sun says can be trusted, you hear me? They're fucking shit journos who never have anything nice to say. Don't listen to them, okay? You belong in One Direction. That shit about your mum was entirely out of line, too. Fuck them!" Louis fumes.

Niall just bites his lip, his eyes stinging.

"There were others, too, Lou. They all think I'm Zayn's replacement. They all think I don't belong, that I did awful things to end up with you lads," Niall whimpers.

"Babe, no! Don't listen to any of them! They don't know what they're talking about! You belong with us, okay? Believe me when I say that, please, love," Louis pleads.

Niall sniffles and nods.

"Okay," Niall agrees. It's hard not to, when Louis looks so vehement.

"Good. Now, I've wanted to bring this up for a while now, but it never felt like the right time. I think after this, it's the right time," Louis rambles.

Niall just giggles wetly.

"What is it?" Niall asks.

"Will you move in with me? I mean, you already spend all your time here anyway, and you have clothes and stuff already here, and you sleep in my bed most nights and-"

"Lou, I'd love to move in with you," Niall cuts him off with a fond smile.

Louis immediately perks up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Niall echoes, and now there are more tears spilling down his cheeks, but they're from a completely different emotion this time.

~

Liam and Harry are amused, to say the least, when they arrive to help Niall and Louis box up his things to move into Louis'. Thankfully, they let Niall pack up his bedroom by himself, because it would be really embarrassing for them to find his toy box and his wank drawer dedicated to Louis. Can't really help how attractive the man is.

Niall's just found an old dildo he forgot he bought under his bed when Louis walks in.

"Hey, were you wanting us to pack your- Is that a dildo?" Louis asks, interrupting himself when he sees what's in Niall's hands.

Niall's eyes widen and he quickly hides it behind his back, even though Louis' already seen it. Louis looks amused.

"I, uh, yeah. Found it under me bed," Niall says, laughing nervously.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. When I lived with Harry, he'd leave his all over the place," Louis tells him, which.

"Harry?" Niall asks faintly.

"Yeah. Not an ounce of shame in that boy's body. I feel bad for Liam sometimes," Louis grins.

"Liam? Are they-?" Niall stops himself from finishing the question, sure it's a stupid one, but Louis seems to understand.

"Yeah. They're not very obvious about it, are they? Never were ones for PDA," Louis replies.

"Really? I thought out of all of you, it'd be you and Harry in a relationship, maybe Liam and Zayn?" Niall says, and immediately feels his cheeks fill with color. He's spent many a night just looking up fanfiction of the lads, and he really doesn't want them to know that.

Louis just laughs.

"What, you a Larry shipper?" Louis teases.

Niall tries to hide his face in his hands, but ends up smacking himself with the dildo. He whines and tosses it away, wanting to crawl under the bed and disappear. He can't believe he just made a fool of himself like that.

"Aww, don't be embarrassed, Niall. I'm sure there are others who've been smacked with a dildo in the face," Louis coos with a shit eating grin.

Niall moans in despair.

Why does he even love this ridiculous man, again?

~

By the time Niall's all moved into Louis' house, it's been dark for several hours. Liam and Harry had left after they'd moved all of the boxes out of the box truck they'd rented around three hours ago, saying they had dinner plans, and Niall and Louis had set to work on unboxing everything. It was slow going, but since Niall decided against bringing any of his shitty furniture to Louis' house - well, their house, now, Niall supposes - it's mostly just Niall's clothes, electronics, movies, games, books, and photos they need to unbox.

They decided Niall would put all of his things in the spare bedroom, even if Louis had bickered with him for half an hour about him just moving into Louis' room, since that's where he sleeps anyway, but Niall eventually won out when he pouted and batted his eyelashes, feeling like a proper twat, but it got Louis to agree. Grudgingly, and while mumbling about him playing dirty, because who could resist those big blue eyes and pouty lips, but he still agreed.

Niall's exhausted by the time everything's put away, and he's hungry, too, but he's always hungry. In his defense, it's dinner time, so Niall calls out to Louis, who's off somewhere else doing who knows what.

"Lou!" Niall calls lazily.

When Louis makes his way into the living room, Niall continues.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" Niall asks.

Louis pauses to think.

"Nando's?" Louis suggests.

Niall's on his feet and grabbing his coat before he can blink. Louis' laughter follows him into the entryway as he pulls on his shoes.

"You can't go to Nando's in shorts, Niall. It's like 10° out, babe," Louis tells him, sounding amused.

Niall curses and kicks the one shoe he managed to get on back off, running back to his room and tugging on some skinny jeans, changing his shirt while he's at it. Once he's done, he races back to Louis and looks at him expectantly.

"I have to go change, too, love. Not really fond of looking homeless when standing next to you," Louis tells him fondly.

Niall frowns, pouting, but Louis doesn't give in this time, just laughs and walks off to his room to change. Niall sighs and leans down to put his shoes on, but that only takes a few seconds, and then he's left to bounce impatiently on his feet.

When Louis finally emerges from his room, he looks amazing. Sure, it's casual, just black skinny jeans and a t-shirt, but it's that red t-shirt that Niall drooled over when he wore it to that one conference. It looks just as good on him as it did then, and his chest tattoo looks absolutely mouthwatering.

"Ready, love?" Louis asks as he grabs his keys and pulls on his black Vans.

Niall snaps out of it and nods excitedly.

"Yeah. Let's go!"

Louis just laughs.

"Calm down, love. We just went to Nando's yesterday," Louis reminds him.

"Yeah, but before that, I hadn't been in two weeks. Two weeks, Lou! It was awful!" Niall whines.

"You know they don't have Nando's in America, right? What are you going to do when we go on tour for months on end?" Louis asks.

Niall looks at Louis in horror.

"I don't think this band thing is gonna work out."

Louis laughs and grabs Niall's hand, interlacing their fingers as he pulls the faux blond out of the door.

~

It's been about a month now since Niall moved in to Louis', and they've been having talks about their next tour. They're planning to start in another month and a half, so Niall's been busy with the lads making sure he knows his parts and practicing with them. They've even recorded and released some of Niall's songs as singles, which really made him happy.

They went over well, for the most part. A lot of the bad press has stopped, accusing Niall of horrible things and calling him awful things, and he couldn't be more grateful, though that probably has to do more with Louis giving a particularly rude pap a thorough tongue-lashing when he was out with Niall and they got swarmed.

Most of the fanbase has even accepted him as a part of the band, and he has hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter now. Twitter is actually how he accidentally came out. Some fans went through his tweet history and found him gushing about just how attractive Louis was, and Justin Bieber back a few years ago. Needless to say, Louis had teased him about it non-stop when it was all over the news.

An interesting thing he's noticed on Tumblr, though, is the Nouis shippers. Apparently, he and Louis aren't all that discreet in their affection for each other, which isn't really that much of a surprise. There's all kinds of pictures and gifs and text posts about their supposed love affair that Niall can't stop himself from searching for. There's even fanfiction being written about them, and that's a huge surprise to Niall.

The first time Niall had found a particularly smutty one, one where Niall had been calling Louis 'Daddy' as the older man spanked him, he'd squealed so loud and shut the laptop so quickly that Louis had raced into the room in a half-panic.

It had been embarrassing to try to explain it, but Louis just laughed.

"They do that all the time, love," he'd explained. "You'll get used to it."

And Niall hadn't wanted to tell him that he was well aware of fanfiction, even wrote some himself one time when he was pissed off his arse and couldn't stop thinking about Louis' eyelashes, of all things. He never posted it, thankfully, but it's still sitting in a word document on his laptop, and Niall really hopes Louis never finds it.

Niall's just scrolling through Twitter when Louis comes back home, crawling into bed with him and heaving a sigh as he wraps Niall up in his arms.

"Long day?" Niall asks, turning off the screen of his phone and tossing it beside him as he settles into Louis' arms.

"Yeah. Got swarmed when I went shopping," Louis explains. "It was awful. I lost me favorite beanie in the process."

Niall frowns.

"I'm sorry you had such a bad time," Niall tells him sincerely.

"It's fine. Used to it, I suppose. It'd be nice if I could go out without someone recognizing me, though," Louis says with a sigh.

"Price of fame, or so they say," Niall hums, resting his head on Louis' chest.

"How was your day, love? You do anything?" Louis asks as he tangles his fingers in Niall's hair.

"Not really. Made plans to meet up with Ed later, though. You wanna come?"

"Ed? You keep bringing him up, but I don't think we've ever met. What is he to you?" Louis asks, trying to sound non-chalant, but Niall can tell he's not as calm as he'd like Niall to believe, since his arms tighten around him.

Niall suddenly feels the urge to be devious. Louis always does look even more attractive than normal when he's jealous.

"Oh, Ed? We go on breakfast dates all the time. Sometimes lunch and dinner dates, too. We met almost three years ago, I think. We write together sometimes," Niall tells him, watching as Louis lips turn down into a deep frown.

"I'll go with you, yeah. Where are you going?" Louis asks, voice tight.

"Oh, we were just planning to go to a bar and then back to his place," Niall answers, watching in amusement as something fierce flashes in Louis' eyes.

"I'm definitely tagging along, then. What time?"

"About an hour, actually. We were gonna grab dinner first, but he hates Nando's, so we're going to some fancy sushi place he likes."

Louis' lips purse, like he's already forming an image of the mysterious 'Ed' in his mind, and he doesn't like it.

"I guess I'll get ready to go eat some sushi, then," Louis grumbles as he pulls himself out of bed.

Niall watches him leave, and waits until the shower turns on to burst into giggles. The faux blond grabs his phone and texts Ed.

'lou's cming 2 . thinks ur my bf or smthng . play along, will u ?'

It takes a minute before Ed texts back.

'I love you, mate, but should I really be getting involved in this? You're in love with him, right?'

Niall rolls his eyes at Ed's proper texting, but quickly types out a reply, sending it off without even caring about the errors. Ed will understand.

'its fine . jst a bit of fun . wanna makr him jelaous'

After a moment, Niall sends another text.

'pls'

Niall waits anxiously for Ed to text back, and it's when Louis walks in, toweling his hair off, that he gets his response.

'Fine. I suppose it'd be fun.'

"Yes!" Niall shouts in glee.

"Yes, what?" Louis asks, looking confused.

The first thing to come to mind is, embarrassingly enough, "Yes, Daddy," which makes his face heat up and his words come out in a stutter.

"Oh, n-nothing important," Niall replies.

Louis shoots him a disbelieving look but doesn't press it, thankfully.

Niall leaves to go take his own shower, making sure to take his phone with him. He wouldn't put it past Louis to look, not because he doesn't trust him or anything, but because he's a nosy bastard with no boundaries.

Niall wouldn't have him any other way.

~

When Louis sees Ed, his eyes nearly pop out of his skull, Niall thinks.

The entire ride, Louis had grumbled and complained and had been strangely possessive, his hands never leaving Niall, and the younger man had sat through it all with amusement.

Niall knows Louis' just going to get even more jealous by the end of the night.

"Niall! Hey!" Ed calls, standing to bring the younger man into a hug.

When he pulls away, he leaves a small kiss on his cheek that has Louis tightening his grip on Niall's hand.

"Hey, Ed. 'S been a while. How've you been?" Niall asks, sliding in on Ed's side of the booth, leaving Louis with an entire side all by himself.

He looks really put out and disgruntled by that.

"I've been okay." Ed shrugs. "Been writing a bit for the next album. How have you been, Mr. Big Shot?"

Niall grins.

"I've been really good, actually. I moved in with Lou here about a month ago, and Harry and Liam are great," Niall tells him.

Ed turns to Louis, like he's surprised he's there.

"Oh, hey, Louis. I didn't know you were coming along," Ed says as he wraps an arm around Niall's waist.

Louis' lips purse for a moment.

"Yeah. Niall invited me. Hope you don't mind."

"Oh, no, I don't mind. But tell me how he's been. Has he had any more panic attacks? He never tells me any more," Ed asks worriedly.

Louis frowns, now, but it seems like he's more upset with Niall's panic attacks than Ed's closeness with Niall.

"Yeah, he's had a few. Not so many any more, but when we had the announcement, I had to calm him down four or five times. He really didn't take it well," Louis tells him, the concern obvious in his tone.

"Niall! Why didn't you tell me?" Ed says as he turns to Niall, sounding alarmed.

Niall shrugs.

"Lou was there to calm me down," Niall answers, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

This whole jealousy plan was a bad idea. Louis' been nothing but good to him, and he knows the man has feelings for him, and what does he do? He purposely hurts him because it'd be a laugh.

Niall leans close to Ed and whispers in his ear that he wants to call the whole thing off. When he pulls back, Ed nods in understanding and removes his arm from around Niall, who promptly get up and slides in on Louis' side.

Louis looks between them, looking equal parts confused and suspicious, and Niall just wants to cry. He's such a piece of shit.

"What's going on here?" Louis asks slowly.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Lou. It was supposed to be a joke," Niall whispers.

"What was? What was supposed to be a joke?" Louis demands.

"This. I wanted to make you jealous, so I asked Ed to play along. I'm so sorry, Lou."

Niall buries his face in his hands, trying to keep the tears from falling. The table is silent for what must have been a full minute before someone speaks.

"Niall, let me out."

Niall looks up and sees Louis staring straight ahead, a stony look on his face.

"What?" Niall breathes.

"I said, let me out, or have you suddenly gone deaf?" Louis bites out, fixing a harsh glare on Niall's face.

Niall feels the tears start to over flow, but he obediently gets out of the booth and just stands there, watching as Louis seems to hesitate before he shakes his head and storms out of the restaurant.

When Niall breaks down into tears in the middle of the restaurant, Ed stands and wraps him up in his arms, quietly suggesting they go back to his place for tonight.

Niall agrees and lets Ed pull him out to his car, feeling like his heart's been torn to shreds and thrown back into his chest a barely functioning mess.

~

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he feels awful.

His eyes are swollen from all of his crying, and his throat is sore from puking his guts out after drinking himself stupid last night. His back aches from sleeping on Ed's uncomfortable couch, and he's just generally miserable.

He almost has a heart attack when he looks at his phone, though.

Twenty-three missed calls and fifty-seven new text messages. All from Louis.

Before Niall can even open any of the texts, his phone starts vibrating in his hand. A call from Louis.

Niall hesitantly accepts the call.

"Hello?" Niall answers, wincing at how rough his voice sounds.

"Where are you?" Louis asks, sounding panicked.

Niall blinks, feeling more awake.

"Ed's. Why d'you even care? You left me last night," Niall says, feeling confused and hurt, even though he was the one who hurt Louis first.

"Fuck, Niall. I was hurt and angry and I wasn't thinking straight! I'm sorry I over-reacted. Please come home," Louis begs.

"I-" Niall cuts himself off with a confused noise. "Why do you even want me there? I was cruel to you. You should kick me out of your house, the band, your life!"

"Niall, no," Louis gasps, sounding strangely breathless. "Baby, no! I've thought it through, and I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me. You don't have a single mean bone in your body."

Niall just whines, feeling more tears gather in his eyes, and it hurts. He's cried too much.

"I'm coming to get you, okay, baby? We need to have a talk," Louis tells him, and Niall can hear all kinds of background noise. "Stay on the line with me, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."

Niall sniffles.

"'Kay."

And, true to his word, there's frantic knocking on the door a few minutes later. Niall drags himself up from the sofa and makes his way to the front door, the phone still to his ear. When it opens, Niall is immediately drawn into an embrace, so tight that Niall feels his breath leave him.

Niall drops his phone, call still connected, and brings his arms around Louis to reciprocate the hug, burying his face into Louis' shoulder when he feels more of those damnable tears well up.

He doesn't know how long they stand there in silence, just hugging each other, but when Louis finally pulls away, Niall sees that the older man has tears in his eyes as well. He still smiles when he speaks, though.

"Let's go home."

~

They stay quiet the entire way back home, probably because they both know what their upcoming conversation is going to be about. They've been dancing around it for ages now, and they haven't been hiding it particularly well, not even from each other.

When they enter the house, Louis holds his hand and guides him to Louis' bedroom(their bedroom, actually, now that Niall thinks about it. Niall doesn't think he's slept once in 'his' room). They both crawl into the bed and just lay there in silence, cuddling. Niall can't be the first one to speak, can't bring himself to, not after what he did to Louis.

"So," Louis begins, tracing his fingers down Niall's back gently. "This has been a long time coming, I think."

Niall just nods, bringing his eyes up to meet Louis'.

"Don't know why we haven't just said it and saved us all this grief," Louis muses. "But I'm sure you already know I love you."

Niall feels his breath leave him.

"You love me?" Niall asks, surprised.

Louis pauses.

"Yeah. Didn't you know? Wasn't really trying to hide it."

Niall blinks a few times, fast.

"I knew you had some kind of feelings for me, but I didn't think you loved me," Niall whispers.

"How could I not love you?" Louis says fondly. "You're easy to fall in love with. I'm convinced Liam and Harry are half in love with you, too."

Niall giggles wetly.

"I'm sure this goes without saying, but I love you, too," Niall tells him.

"Well, that's good," Louis hums. "Now, what do we do about it?"

"I dunno," Niall muses, playing along. "Maybe snog a bit, have brunch, snog some more, and invite Liam and Harry over for a bit? Then snog when they leave," Niall suggests.

"You have the best ideas, love," Louis says warmly.

"But only after I brush me teeth. I got sick last night, and I didn't have a toothbrush at Ed's," Niall tells him, pulling away.

Louis follows him to the bathroom as he brushes his teeth, standing behind him with his arms wrapped around his waist loosely as he rests his chin on Niall's shoulder. Niall sees his reflection flush when he sees how nice they look together.

"Why'd you get sick last night?" Louis murmurs.

Niall pauses before he leans forward to spit into the sink, a surprised moan spilling from his lips when his bum brushes Louis' half-hard cock. Niall immediately flushes darker at his embarrassing noise and wipes the toothpaste foam from around his mouth.

"Ignore that, yeah? You just look so good, I can't help meself sometimes. Why'd you get sick, Ni?" Louis murmurs.

"I, uh, kinda got drunk last night. Was really upset," Niall mumbles, turning around in Louis' arms.

Louis frowns.

"Love, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to hurt me," Louis reminds him.

"Yeah, but I still felt awful," Niall replies.

"Just forget about it, okay? Nothing to worry about," Louis insists. "Now, let's go back to bed and snog like teenagers, yeah?"

Niall sighs but nods, squealing a bit when Louis lifts him up and carries him back to bed, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss, their first. Louis only separates them to lay Niall down on the bed and just look at him for a bit. It's a bit embarrassing, but Niall's looking at Louis, too, so he supposes it's only fair.

Louis suddenly groans and climbs up to lay between Niall's spread thighs, pressing them together from groin to chest, and Niall can feel Louis' erection pressing into his hip, making him moan. Niall pulls Louis back down to kiss him, and is pleased when Louis licks into his mouth, finally letting their tongues meet.

Niall's cock begins to fill up from how well Louis kisses him, and feeling the older man's prickly beard scratch at his smooth face. Niall can't help the moan he releases when Louis shifts his hips a bit against Niall, trying to get a better angle to kiss him at, and Niall gets friction on his fully hard cock.

Louis just kisses him harder as he begins a slow, dirty grind against Niall that has the younger man keening into Louis' mouth.

Niall thinks faintly that he could come like this, grinding against his fit boyfriend(is that what they are? Boyfriends?) and making a mess in his pants like a teenager. He can't say he'd mind all that much. He's not even sure he can last all that long, either. He feels embarrassingly close already.

Niall whines into the kiss as his pleasure mounts, higher and higher, until he finally spills hot and sticky in his pants. He's sure there's a wet spot forming on his jeans, and maybe Louis can feel it, because he grinds harder against Niall, who moans from over-sensitivity, before he seems to come as well, biting at Niall's lips to keep his noises in.

When they both finally come down from their highs, Louis rolls off Niall and interlaces their fingers, panting to catch his breath.

"Well, that was unexpected," Louis comments off-handedly. "Can't say I minded, though."

Niall rolls on his side to press a kiss to Louis' scruffy cheek, just because he can.

"We need to change. I can feel me cum drying on me skin," Niall mumbles, not really wanting to go through the effort of getting up and finding something else to wear.

"Yeah, maybe. Or we can just lay here and cuddle," Louis suggests.

Niall feels his nose scrunch up in distaste.

"Gross. No, I'm at least finding a wash cloth to wipe meself down with," Niall tells him, sitting up and unbuttoning his jeans.

When the zipper goes down, Louis peeks open an eye and watches in rapt fascination as Niall shimmies his jeans down with just one hand before the faux blond has to let go of Louis' hand to pull them off. His pants go with the jeans, and Niall's left completely naked from the waist down. He decides to fix that by stripping off his t-shirt and throwing it off the side of the bed before he stands, making his way to the bathroom to find a wash cloth.

Once he's found one, he wets it with cool water, since he's still a bit over heated, and wipes himself of his drying cum, folding it over and handing it to Louis when he comes in behind Niall, also naked.

"You know, you've got a nice bum," Louis comments airily as he cleans himself, and Niall nearly chokes.

"Excuse me, Mr. Curves. I think you're the one with the nice bum in this relationship," Niall tells him.

Louis perks up.

"Yeah? Relationship, you say?"

Niall rolls his eyes.

"Of course you would focus on that when I'm complimenting your bum. I knew you were a softie," Niall teases.

"Wasn't such a softie five minutes ago," Louis tell him, and.

"Oh, god. You need to stop hanging out with Harry. His awful jokes are rubbing off on you." After a pause, during which Niall notices Louis perk up again, Niall continues, exasperated. "Yes, we just rubbed off on each other, and that's a terrible joke. Don't even try it."

Louis pouts at him.

"Come on, I'm hilarious!" Louis whines, draping himself across Niall's back.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just go and find something to eat. You want a full English?"

Louis spins Niall around, kissing all over his face ridiculously.

"Best boyfriend ever!"

And, well, that answers that question. Niall is pleased with his ridiculous boyfriend.

~

When Harry and Liam come over, they don't hesitate to call them out on the love bites Niall has littering his neck.

"You finally confessed to each other?" Harry asks, a bit starry-eyed. He's always been a romantic.

Louis rolls his eyes and pulls Niall into his lap on the sofa when he walks back in with a bowl of crisps.

"Obviously. Took a fight and some time away from each other for it to happen, though," Louis answers, stealing a few crisps from the bowl in Niall's lap as they settle in to watch the footie game. It's not an important one, at least not to Louis or Niall, but they decided to watch it anyway, since there's fuck all else on.

"You had a fight? Really? You two agree on everything, act like the sun shines out of each other's arses. What could you possibly have a fight about?" Liam asks, sounding perplexed.

Niall shifts uncomfortably in Louis' lap, residual guilt flowing through him. Louis tightens his arms around Niall's waist.

"Niall wanted to play a joke on me, and it didn't turn out too well. It hurt both of us, but I don't care, since it finally got us together," Louis replies, being as vague as possible, probably knowing that Niall's still upset about it.

Neither Harry nor Liam bring it up again for their entire stay, and Niall's grateful.

"So, I wanna take you on a date, yeah? A proper date. Let me take you out, babe," Louis murmurs into his neck as he holds him around his waist from behind.

"A date?" Niall asks. "What, are you going to rent out an entire restaurant again?"

Niall says it as a joke, but when Louis stays silent, Niall turns around in his arms, giving him a wide-eyed look.

"Lou, you can't just rent out an entire restaurant every time we go out to eat!" Niall tells him.

Louis looks a bit guilty, and Niall's immediately suspicious.

"... What did you do?" Niall asks.

"I may have already booked a restaurant?" Louis says, sounding sheepish.

Niall just stares at him for a moment before he sighs.

"Fine. Just this once. After this, it's only places where we can get private booths, okay?" Niall compromises.

Louis immediately brightens.

"Yes! Okay, go get dressed in something nice, okay, babe? It's not exactly formal, but it would be best if you didn't wear skinny jeans and a t-shirt, no matter how good you look in it," Louis tells him excitedly.

Niall looks at Louis, a bit dubious, but eventually nods, as he's already agreed to this.

~

"I can't believe you!" Niall squeaks, trying to sound angry and offended, but it comes out awed and enamored. "That place must have cost you at least a thousand pounds, Lou! Just in food, and not however much it cost to rent the place for an hour and a half!"

Louis' grin falters for a moment before it disappears.

"Did you hate it?" Louis asks, sounding a bit insecure, which. No.

"I loved it, Louis. Best first date I've ever been on. Hell, best date, period. I just hate wasting money, even if it's on good food. Keep in mind that I'm not used to having a lot of money, okay? Excess is not something I've ever had," Niall explains quickly.

Louis frowns down at him.

"I just want you to have the best, baby. You deserve the best. If it makes you uncomfortable, I won't spend that much money on you very often, though," Louis offers.

Niall's lips turn down a bit in the corners before he sighs.

"Fine. You can only spend that much money on me on very special occasions, you hear me? Anniversaries and major holidays and birthdays. Nothing more," Niall warns, trying to ignore the warm feeling in his chest when Louis' expression brightens at the word 'anniversaries'. "If you try it, I'll ban you from kissing me for however long I feel it's necessary."

Louis gasps, like he's been wounded.

"Niall, you can't do that! Now that I've had a taste, I can't just give it up!" Louis whines. "You wouldn't be so cruel to your boyfriend, would you?"

Niall pretends to think for a moment.

"No," Niall says, dragging out the word. When Louis looks up excitedly, Niall drops the bomb. "I'd go stay at Ed's for a week, or, if we're on tour, request me own room and give our manager and the front desk explicit instructions to not give you me key card."

Louis stares at him in horror.

"You're the devil! Evil, I tell you! Wolf in sheep's clothing!" Louis exclaims.

Niall just laughs.

"Well, now you're stuck with me," Niall quips.

"Oh, you're going to regret this," Louis threatens, reaching over and tickling Niall.

The driver rolls up the partition when the howls of laughter turn into moans of pleasure.

~

When they finally get around to telling Simon, it's a bit underwhelming.

"I know," he says simply.

"You know?" Niall repeats dumbly.

"Yes. I know. I've known since the beginning, and I've put a lot of thought into it, so that's why I've allowed all of those gossip rags to write about your supposed relationship. If you two ever feel the need to go public with your relationship, feel free to come and discuss it with me," Simon explains, smiling a bit.

Niall blinks and turns to Louis, feeling a bit lost. Louis looks at him, mirroring his feelings.

"And you're just okay with this? Why'd I have to go through all of that shit when I wanted to come out, then?" Louis asks.

Simon sighs and rubs his forehead.

"At the time, society wasn't as progressive as it is now. I knew there would be a good bit of backlash if you were allowed to come out back then, and I didn't want that to break you. So, I made you hide it, but I didn't ask you to do a good job, since it wasn't meant to be permanent."

Simon pauses, looking for a moment like he's unsure of whether or not he wants to share what he has to say next.

"I will admit, though, the board had me wait longer than I'd have liked to let you come out because they were convinced record sales would plummet if the world knew twenty-five percent of One Direction was gay. If only they knew none of you are attracted solely to the fairer sex, and you're all in committed relationships. Within the band. I'm sure at least part of the fanbase would be happy," Simon muses. "Which is partially why I'm so open to you boys coming out about your relationship."

"Could you explain that for me, please?" Niall asks, feeling a bit dizzy with all the new information.

"Of course, Niall. Ever since we made the announcement that you were joining One Direction, the fans have been able to see just how much you two care for each other. We took an anonymous poll, and it said that an overwhelming seventy-six percent of fans would support you two if you came out."

Niall's grip on Louis' hand slackens in shock.

"S-Seventy-six percent? Really?" Louis asks, sounding a bit faint.

Simon nods.

"Even 'hardcore Larry shippers' are hard-pressed to deny the love and affection you two display," Simon confirms.

Niall feels his cheeks flush a bit, being reminded of the Larry shippers. He was one, once upon a time. Might still be, if his dreams have anything to say about it.

"Just give me a call any time you feel you want to come out, and we'll set it up. We're going to do right by you two. Harry and Liam have also been extended this offer, even though their approval rating is only fifty-three percent."

"Really? You're the best, Uncle Si!" Louis exclaims cheerfully, gratefully.

"Yeah, yeah. Try not to out yourselves before we get a chance to talk, yeah?" Simon says, waving Louis off.

"No promises," Louis grins.

When they walk out of the office, Niall stumbles, feeling a bit off-balance from everything that just happened. Louis catches him before he can hurt himself, pressing his front flush to Niall's back, ignoring the people milling about the hallway.

"You okay, babe?" Louis murmurs into his neck.

Niall shivers at the feeling of Louis' hot breath against his sensitive neck.

"Just a bit overwhelmed, I think. Can we go home and cuddle before we meet up with Liam and Harry and Ed and Nick?" Niall asks.

"Of course, love. I'm always up for a cuddle with me favorite boy," Louis tells him fondly.

Niall flushes happily and presses back into Louis' hold.

"Let's go home, then."

~

The first time they have sex, it's the night before they go on tour.

They'd been talking for a while about it, because Louis wanted to take his time and not rush anything, or do anything Niall didn't like, and Niall had told Louis that he hated condoms and wanted Louis to come inside him. Needless to say, that particular conversation ended with Louis eating Niall out while the younger man whined around his cock.

They got the results back a few days ago, but they've been so busy preparing to go on tour that they haven't had time for much else but quickies, and Louis wants their first time to be special.

Tonight, though, is the night. Niall can feel it in his bones. Well, that, and Louis actually encouraged him to go hang out with Ed for the entire day, to have a lads day in(he never quite got over his jealousy and suspicion towards Ed after that disastrous dinner).

It's dark when Ed drops Niall off back home, and there's a mouthwatering scent wafting in the air when Niall walks in.

Niall follows his nose to the kitchen, where he finds Louis standing at the stove, messing around with something in a pot that smells a lot like potatoes, wearing nothing but a ratty pair of sweats Niall hasn't been able to talk him into throwing out.

"'M home," Niall greets, just standing in the doorway, watching as Louis jumps and whirls around.

"Christ, babe! Gave me a right scare. Welcome home," Louis responds, walking over to wrap his arms around Niall, but not before checking whatever's on the stove.

The younger man returns the hug and presses a light kiss to Louis' lips before pulling back with a smile.

"What's all this, then?" Niall asks. "It smells amazing."

"Careful. You're drooling, love," Louis teases.

Niall runs his hand over his chin to make sure, because it wouldn't be the first time, but no, there's nothing there. He pouts at Louis.

"I made us dinner," Louis announces proudly.

Niall blinks.

"And it smells this good? Thought you burned everything," Niall asks, honestly surprised.

Louis pouts back.

"I'm not that bad." When Niall just looks at him incredulously, he admits, "May have had Harry over to help out a bit."

Niall just grins.

"Well, when's it gonna be done? I'm starving."

"You're always starving," Louis quips fondly. "But it should be done in about half an hour, I think."

Niall kisses Louis on the cheek before he lets him go.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, then. Call me when dinner's ready."

When Niall gets in the shower, he makes sure to clean himself thoroughly, especially his hole. He soaps up a finger and cleans around inside of himself as best he can, because he wants to be clean for Louis. He also takes the time to carefully shave around his cock and balls, and even in his crack, because that's not really attractive to him. Besides, Louis loved it when he went to eat Niall out sometime last month and found him cleanly shaved, which the faux blond had done on a whim, remembering how smooth and nice it had felt when he'd done it on a dare back in sixth form. Louis hasn't asked him to shave again, but Niall quite likes it, how sensitive he is everywhere, and he thinks it's going to become a thing for him.

When Niall finally steps out of the bathroom, he walks over to the dresser and pulls out an oversized t-shirt that he's pretty sure Louis stole from Harry at some point. With Louis wearing some old sweat pants, he figures he can dress comfortably as well. The shirt itself swallows him, ending just below mid-thigh, so Niall doesn't bother with putting on any pants. He's glad he was able to shave his legs over at Ed's earlier when the red-haired man had to run to the studio for a few hours(it had been more calculated than a whim, as Niall had brought his own razor, but he'd had to think on it for several hours before he came to a decision), because his legs look amazing, in his opinion. The black shirt against his pale skin isn't a bad touch, either, he thinks.

Niall makes his way to the kitchen to find Louis plating a second dish. Niall just leans against the doorway with his arms crossed and watches as Louis pulls down two wine glasses and pours some deep red wine into them.

"Babe!" Louis calls. "Dinner!"

"'M here," Niall answers.

"Great, can you- Fuck!"

Niall watches in amusement as Louis nearly drops the plate and wine glass he was holding when he catches sight of Niall. The wine almost splashes out of the glass, but Louis' able to steady it before that happens.

"Fuck, babe. You can't do that to me," Louis whines. "You're making it really hard to do this right. At this rate, dinner's gonna go cold and I'll end up fucking you on the dining room table."

"Yeah?" Niall breathes, already imagining it, but no. He's going to let Louis do this the way he planned. "Well, let's eat. You can have your way with me afterwards."

When Niall sets his own plate and glass down across from Louis' place setting, he bends over a bit, and delights in the strangled noise it tears from Louis' throat.

"Niall, are you naked under that shirt?" Louis gasps out.

Niall just twists around and winks before he takes his seat. He's not going to make this easy on Louis, even if he's letting him make it proper romantic.

When Louis sits down across from Niall, the faux blond can see he's hard in his sweats, and counts it as a point in his favor.

Niall takes a moment to look over what's actually on his plate and nearly has a heart attack.

"Is this- Is this chicken, stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham, with a side of homemade mash?" Niall chokes out.

Louis looks up in interest.

"Yeah, actually. How'd you know?" Louis asks curiously.

"Lou, if you don't know just how far up your arse I was as a fan by now, you're in for a rude awakening. Besides, you've brought it up at least a half dozen times. How could I not know your first meal?" Niall tells him, a bit embarrassed.

Louis grins.

"Aww, you had a crush on me, babe?" Louis coos.

Niall feels his face burn.

"I'm gonna lock you out of our room tonight if you keep teasing me like this," Niall grumbles, though he's not serious.

Louis' eyes widen dramatically.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, Tomlinson," Niall bluffs.

"Eat your damn food," Louis laughs.

And Niall does. He eats every last bite, and doesn't even wait for his mouth to be empty to tell Louis how good it is. Louis just watches him in amusement, as he usually does when Niall eats, and consumes his own meal in silence. When about three quarters of Niall's plate is gone, and there's more than a few seconds between bites, Louis finally speaks.

"So, how was your day with Ed?"

Niall pauses.

"Good. We finished writing a new song today. I really like it," Niall tells him after he swallows his mouthful.

"Yeah? What's it about?" Louis asks, interested.

"It's about us, actually," Niall admits. "It's called Friends."

"Really? Could you sing a bit for me?"

Niall shrugs.

"Sure. I'll just go grab me guitar real quick," Niall says as he stuffs his mouth with the rest of his food.

Louis just laughs.

"Slow down, babe. You're going to choke."

And, because irony exists, that's what Niall does. He beats on his chest with a closed fist until the blockage goes down. Niall pants for breath for a few seconds before he looks up with a grin.

"Whoops," Niall shrugs. "Be right back."

Niall stands up, pulling his shirt down unconsciously as he walks away. After he grabs his guitar from their bedroom, he makes his way back to the dining room to find Louis gathering their plates and empty glasses to take to the kitchen.

"Let's go to the living room, yeah?" Louis says as he walks back into the dining room.

Niall nods and leads the way to the living room, taking a seat on the sofa. He begins tuning his guitar, as it's a bit out of tune from the cold, even though he just played it earlier today. Louis comes in and sits in the arm chair to have a good view of him, Niall supposes.

Niall looks up at Louis when he finishes.

"Think Ed's gonna end up with this one. He sings it better than me," Niall admits.

Louis just hums and sits back, waiting for Niall to begin.

Niall starts singing first, and then he starts playing.

"We're not, no we're not friends,  
Nor have we ever been.  
We just try,  
To keep those secrets in a lie.

"But if they find out,  
Would it all go wrong?  
And heaven knows,  
No one wants it to."

Louis watches him with an odd look on his face, but he stays quiet.

"So I could take the back roads,  
But your eyes will lead me straight back home.  
And if you know me, like I know you,  
You should love me, you should know,

"Friends just sleep in another bed,  
And friends don't treat me like you do.  
Well, I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends won't love me like you."

Louis bites his lip as Niall stares at him while he sings, his eyes getting a bit shiny.

"We're not friends.  
We could be anything.  
If we try to keep those secrets safe,  
No one will find out,  
If it all went wrong,  
They'll never know what we've been through."

Louis' eyes widen, like he's just realized something, and looks like he desperately wants to say something, but holds himself back. Niall continues on, closing his eyes so he can't see any more of Louis' reactions.

"So I could take the back roads,  
But your eyes will lead me straight back home.  
And if you know me, like I know you,  
You should love me, you should know,

"That friends just sleep in another bed,  
And friends don't treat me like you do.  
Well, I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends won't love me like you.

"But then again,  
If we're not friends,  
Someone else might love you, too.

"But then again,  
If we're not friends,  
There'd be nothing I could do.

"And that's why friends should sleep in other beds,  
And friends shouldn't kiss me like you do.  
And I know that there's a limit to everything,  
But my friends won't love me like you.

"No, my friends won't love me like you do.  
No, my friends will never love me like you."

Niall opens his eyes as he removes his guitar, setting it gently against the coffee table, and they sit there in silence for a few moments before Louis' getting up and rushing over to Niall's side.

"Babe," Louis breathes as he pulls Niall into his lap. "What was all that about?"

Niall shrugs.

"Niall, are you having doubts about us?" Louis asks worriedly.

Niall just shrugs again, straddling Louis as he wraps his arms around the older man's neck and presses close. Louis' arms come up around Niall's back automatically.

"Ni, you know I'll always protect you, right? We don't have to come out if you don't want to, you know that, right?"

Niall pulls back to look at Louis.

"I know. I want to do it, really, but what if that poll was wrong? What if they hate us together? Would it tear us apart if the world knew?" Niall whispers.

"Baby, no! I love you, and nothing's ever going to tear us apart, you hear me? Nothing," Louis tells him firmly.

Niall nibbles on his lower lip for a moment before he nods.

"Sorry if I ruined our night with my dumb insecurities," Niall mumbles.

"Niall, I'm glad it came up. And your worries aren't dumb. I'm going to tickle you if you say one more thing like that," Louis threatens.

"It's true, though. I know you love me, and I was still worried like an idiot," Niall insists.

"That's it! I warned you!"

And with that, Louis proceeds to tickle him.

"No, stop! Please!" Niall howls as he squirms on top of Louis. "Mercy, mercy!"

"I'm not stopping until you promise not to call yourself mean things!" Louis yells over Niall's shrieks of laughter.

Niall tips over, trying to get away from Louis, but the older man just follows him down onto the sofa and continues tickling him.

"Okay, okay! I promise! Fuck!" Niall giggles.

Louis finally lets up with a grin.

As Niall pants for breath, he takes in the situation. Niall's flat on his back on the sofa, and Louis' kneeling between his spread thighs. Niall's shirt has come up a bit and he's completely exposed to Louis' gaze.

"Fuck," Louis curses. "Did you shave again, babe?"

Niall nods.

"Wanted to be good for you," Niall replies.

When Louis meets his eyes, Niall sees that his pupils have dilated a bit with desire before Louis leans forward to press their lips together harshly. Niall moans, feeling Louis' stubble press into his skin from how hard they're pressed together.

By the time Louis pulls away, because Niall's too weak and needy to do it himself, they're both gasping for air.

"Let's go to bed, babe," Louis husks, his voice having lowered an octave or two. Niall's not sure, since his head's a bit fuzzy.

Niall whines and nods, allowing Louis to pull him up from the couch and into his arms. Once Louis has a steady grip on Niall, he walks them to their bedroom, pressing sharp, biting kisses to Niall's neck that have him grinding against Louis' stomach to get friction on his cock.

Once they make it, Louis gently lays Niall down and crawls on top of him, resuming their kiss from before as he runs his hands up Niall's rucked up shirt to his nipples. The younger man moans as Louis takes the hard nubs between his fingers and pinches them sharply before he lets go to rub them.

"Gonna make you feel so good, baby. Promise," Louis tells him, hooking his fingers under the hem of Niall's shirt and pulling it off with hardly any input, leaving Niall completely naked while Louis' still fully clothed.

It's an accident when it happens. He doesn't think before he says it.

"Daddy!"

Louis freezes, and that's when Niall realizes he fucked up. They stare at each other for a few seconds, Niall terrified that he read Louis wrong and that the Daddy thing is actually weird, but then Louis groans and grinds his clothed cock into Niall's thigh.

"Fuck, baby," Louis breathes. "You want that? Want me to be your Daddy?"

And Niall's nodding so fast he gets a bit dizzy.

"I can do that for you. You have to be good for Daddy, though, okay?"

"C'n be good for you, Daddy. Please fuck me," Niall whines.

Louis' hips jerk against Niall's thigh before he pulls away, and that has Niall reaching for him in protest.

"I'm just getting the lube and my kit off, okay, love? I'll be right back," Louis says gently.

Niall nods grudgingly, and when Louis turns his back to find the lube and take his clothes off, Niall sneaks his hand down to wrap around his cock, because it hurts from how aroused he is.

He gets so caught up in it, his eyes closing in pleasure, that he startles when he hears Louis speak.

"That's not being a good boy for Daddy," Louis says in a chastising tone.

Niall's eyes fly open as his hand darts away from his cock, feeling embarrassed when he sees Louis looking at him with disappointment.

"I should spank you for being bad," Louis says idly as he gets back on the bed, and Niall whimpers, nodding his head mindlessly as his hips push into the air, because he wants that. "But I won't, because I can't expect you to know the rules yet. Besides, this is special, yeah?"

Niall bites his lip to keep a sound in, and Louis tuts.

"Daddy wants to hear you. Don't keep your noises in," Louis tells him.

Niall releases his lip from between his teeth and moans.

"Yes, Daddy."

"Fuck, okay. Okay," Louis repeats, looking a bit lost and frantic before he seems to come to a decision. "I'm gonna open you up now, okay, baby? Gonna take me time and make sure you're ready to take me cock. How's that sound?"

Niall nods.

"Good. Sounds good, Daddy," Niall replies.

"Good. Spread your legs open for me. Let me look at you," Louis instructs.

Niall does as asked and opens his legs up, smiling when Louis chokes a bit.

"Shaved back here, too?" Louis asks, dragging a couple of dry fingers down his taint to his hole.

Niall shivers and nods.

"Wanted to be good for you," Niall repeats.

"You are. So good for me, baby," Louis praises quietly as he coats his fingers in slick.

The first touch of Louis' cold finger to his hole makes Niall shiver and press down wantonly, and Louis doesn't reprimand him for it, so Niall presses back until his finger breaches him.

"Yeah? Wanna fuck yourself on Daddy's fingers?" Louis asks.

Niall nods and pushes back until Louis' entire finger fills him, and it's nice, but not nearly enough.

"More, please," Niall moans, rocking himself on the single finger.

"You'll take what I give you, and not anything more or less. Understand me, Niall?"

Niall whimpers but nods in understanding as he moves himself, creating a slick drag inside him that makes his cock blurt out pre-cum where it lies flat against his stomach.

Eventually, Niall groans in frustration.

"C'n I flip over, Daddy? Can't move much like this," Niall asks, looking up with frustrated tears in his eyes.

"Sure, baby. Hands and knees, yeah?"

Niall nods, but he still whines when Louis takes his finger out. He quickly moves into position, and then Louis' finger is at his hole again. Niall gasps when he sinks back and two stretch him open now, hanging his head as he pushes back on them impatiently, needing them in him, despite there being a small twinge of discomfort.

"Christ, babe. Proper gagging for it, aren't you?" Louis coos. "You look so good like this, fucking yourself like you can't even help it, like it's the most important thing in the world."

Niall moans and nods, his mouth gaping open as he tries to simultaneously fuck himself on Louis' fingers and breathe. Niall's not sure which one is more important right now.

When Louis starts twisting his fingers inside of Niall, the faux blond collapses onto his elbows, because it feels so good, and if Niall doesn't get Louis' cock in him soon, he may just cry.

He almost does when Louis wedges another finger inside of him, makes these choked little noises that have Louis groaning and leaning forward to rub his scruff against Niall's bare bum, and Niall needs to come. He needs it. But he wants to wait. He wants to come with Louis inside him.

It seems like forever before Louis pulls his fingers out of Niall, and the poor boy just cries and tries to push back on his fingers.

"I'm gonna fuck you now, okay, baby?" Louis soothes. "Want you on your back now. Don't want you on your knees too long."

Niall hiccups and nods, slowly rolling over, because now that he can think somewhat clearly, his knee is aching something fierce. When Louis sees the tears on his face, he immediately looks alarmed.

"Niall, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Niall sniffles and stares up at Louis with swollen, blurry eyes.

"Just feels so good, Daddy. Can't help it," Niall confesses. "Will you fuck me now?"

Louis watches him for a moment, not moving, before he smiles.

"Of course, baby."

Niall watches mutely as Louis slicks himself up and guides his cock to the younger man's swollen, stretched hole, and just pauses. Niall tries to wait, he really does, but finally, he cants his hips back for Louis' cock to finally slip inside him like he's been dreaming of for years.

"God, Niall, fuck!" Louis curses. It seems like he's completely lost his composure as he slides the rest of the way inside. "Feel so good around me, babe."

"Daddy," Niall whines, trying to push back more, but his knee twinges in pain.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. 'M gonna fuck you now, okay? I'm gonna make you feel good," Louis pants.

"Please," Niall moans.

And Louis does. He pulls out slow and gentle, like he's afraid he's going to break Niall, but when he thrusts back in, it's fast and hard. Niall's back arches as his arms reach up, his hands scrambling to find purchase on the headboard to hold on to.

With every thrust, Niall's cock slaps weakly against his stomach, and there's already a decent sized puddle of pre-cum pooling around his cock, aching for release. Niall won't touch it, though. He wants to come just from Louis fucking him, just from Louis being inside him.

When Louis tries to take Niall in hand, Niall shakes his head and explains that as best he can with his shattered mental state, and Louis just moans and redoubles his efforts, aiming directly for Niall's prostate. It just builds and builds from there, until the pressure is unbelievable, and it feels like he's stuck.

It's only when Louis speaks that he realizes he was waiting for permission.

"Feel so good around me, baby. Want you to come. Come for Daddy, yeah?"

Niall's vision whites out for a second as he finally reaches his peak. His cock pumps out strings of sticky white all over his stomach and chest, and there's just so much of it that Niall can scarcely believe it.

Louis groans as Niall tightens sporadically around him and thrusts even harder and faster than before, chasing his own high, and Niall shivers as Louis uses him to get off.

When Louis comes, it's a sight to behold. His hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat, and his eyes flutter closed while his mouth drops open into a silent 'oh'. His tanned skin has a faint red flush of exertion all over, and Niall swears he can feel Louis' hot cum being pumped into him.

When Louis almost collapses onto Niall's chest, his hips still pumping shallowly, lazily, Niall releases the headboard and wraps his shaky arms around Louis' sweaty back.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes just catching their breaths, and when Louis finally pulls out, he's completely soft. The older man rolls over to lay beside Niall, so the faux blond rolls over to hook his leg over Louis' hips, whining quietly when he feels Louis' cum start to drip out of him. Louis just worms an arm underneath Niall and rests it on his bum, playing with the spilled cum before pushing it back into Niall lazily.

Niall almost chokes.

"So, Daddy, huh?"

Niall feels his face flush even hotter and hides it in Louis' chest.

"What, you can tease me about my Daddy kink, but I can't tease you about yours?" Louis asks, sounding amused. "How did that even come about? Hm?"

"When I first said it, it was a joke, and then I really thought about it, and realized it was pretty fitting. Couldn't stop thinking about it after that," Niall admits before he looks up at Louis with an entirely false innocent look. "When we were at the pub with Nick and you were drinking scotch, all I could think about was calling you Daddy and begging for you to fuck me throat." Which isn't entirely true. Niall had wanted to call Louis Daddy, but the mouth fucking fantasy had come a bit later.

Louis groans.

"Don't tell me that!" Louis whines. "I'm not a teenager anymore. I can't get it up so soon after, Niall."

Niall laughs and snuggles closer to Louis.

"I love you," Niall murmurs, feeling a bit sleepy now. "That was amazing."

"I love you, too," Louis replies, tilting Niall's chin up to give him a chaste kiss. "How's your knee feeling? Were you on it too long?"

"Yeah. 'M a bit sore, but I should be fine tomorrow. Should probably wear me brace, though, just in case," Niall mumbles.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll be sure to be gentler next time," Louis promises.

"Okay," Niall agrees, his voice getting a bit soft around the edges with fatigue. "Sleep, now?"

"Don't you want to clean up first?" Louis asks, finally pulling his fingers out of Niall. The younger man had almost forgotten they were there.

"No, sleepy," Niall whines.

Louis just chuckles softly.

"You're going to regret it in the morning," Louis warns.

"Don't care. Sleep, Lou."

"Okay, okay. Don't say I didn't warn you. Goodnight, love."

"'Night."

~

Niall does, in fact, regret it in the morning, but that may just be because he and Louis forgot to set an alarm last night and woke up half an hour later than they'd planned, leaving next to no time for showers, putting their dirty bed sheets in the wash, and washing their dishes from last night before they leave for months on end.

"Fuck, Lou," Niall curses as he washes himself as quickly as possibly while Louis uses the spray to wash the shampoo from his hair. "Why didn't I remember the alarm last night?"

"Probably because I fucked your brains out," Louis mumbles, still half asleep and not nearly as frantic as Niall thinks he ought to be.

"Well, yeah, I s'pose that's true," Niall concedes. "Still, why didn't you set an alarm?"

"Probably because I fucked your brains out," Louis says, a bit more awake now as he steps closer to Niall, backing him into the wall of the shower.

"There's no time for round two, Louis," Niall whines, wanting nothing more than for Louis to hold him up against the wall and fuck him. "We gotta hurry."

Louis frowns but backs off, letting Niall by to wash the suds from his body as Louis soaps his own up. They switch and Louis washes off his body and steps out, grabbing a towel as he does. Niall just lathers his hair with Louis' shampoo and listens as Louis trims his scruff a bit, humming a tune Niall vaguely recognizes as I Want, from Up All Night. When it gets to Niall's part, which he'd just been given a few days ago, even though they're not likely to sing it on tour, he sings the words along with Louis' humming, continuing on even when Louis pauses.

"You're gonna be great, babe," Louis tells him sincerely as Niall steps out of the shower, drying himself off.

"Thanks," Niall responds idly as he hangs the towel up and walks out of the bathroom naked to get dressed.

Louis follows after a moment, his facial hair neatly trimmed, and plasters himself to Niall's back as he rifles through the half-empty closet for something to wear.

"Love you," Louis murmurs into his neck, pressing a kiss there afterwards.

"Love you, too," Niall replies, leaning back into Louis embrace a bit as he pulls out a pair of black skinny jeans he hadn't packed the other day and a dark blue button-down.

Louis lets him go after a moment to pick out his own outfit, choosing a matching pair of black skinnies and a white t-shirt with black sleeves. Niall walks over to the dresser and takes a pair of black briefs and some white socks out before he picks up his brace and brings it all over to the bed. The younger man pulls on the underwear first, then the brace, then the jeans, which fit a bit snugly around his brace, and finally pulls the button-down around his shoulders, opting not to button it up for now as he walks back into the bathroom to put on his deodorant and brush his wet hair. Niall then blow-dries it and styles it up into a sort of half-quiff, not really that worried about how he looks since they're going to be on a plane to South America for the better part of the day. He has to look halfway decent for the paparazzi that will no doubt be swarming the airport, however.

Louis trails in a few moments later to fix his own hair, dressed, carrying his and Niall's toiletry bags, which Liam had convinced him to buy last week when he found out Niall didn't have one. Niall takes his with a quick peck on Louis' scruffy cheek and packs his deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, and hair styling products. It's a bit of a tight fit, with all of Niall's hair sprays and waxes and gels, but it fits after Niall rearranges them all neatly(and Niall takes out a few things he deems not actually necessary).

"'M going to go take our bags downstairs and wash the dishes, switch the sheets to the dryer," Niall tells Louis as he zips up his toiletry bag. "Bring whatever else you think we need when you come down, okay?"

"Will do, love. I'll be down in a few minutes," Louis replies, meeting his eyes in the mirror with a smile as he turns on the hair dryer.

Niall smiles back absentmindedly before he makes his way downstairs, lugging the two suitcases and his toiletry bag. It puts a bit of strain on his knee, but Niall doesn't complain. Louis needs to get ready, too, and Niall shouldn't bother him with something like this.

On his way by the laundry room, Niall switches the sheets to the dryer, like he said he would, and just leaves it at that, starting on his way to the front door again. Once the bags are by the door and ready to be moved out to the car picking them up when it gets there, Niall leans down, resting against the wall, to rub the pain out of his knee for a moment. After the pain has died down a bit, Niall walks into the kitchen and starts the washing up. It doesn't take long before all of the dishes are clean, dried, and put away.

Niall walks over to the dining room table and sits down, crossing his arms on the table top and resting his head there. He just needs some time to slow down and wrap his head around the fact that this is real, that he's actually in One Direction, and that he's about to go on tour with his favorite band in the whole world. He doubts he'll be given much of a break once he walks out that door.

"Ni? I brought your laptop and our chargers! Have you finished with the di- What's wrong?"

Niall turns his head to the side and opens his eyes, meeting Louis' worried gaze.

"'M fine," Niall mumbles. "Just trying to wrap me head around all this."

Louis sits down in the chair beside him and places a small, comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Niall. We can't entirely believe it ourselves, sometimes. A bit crazy, innit? To think that we get to travel all around the world, doing what we love, it's a bit overwhelming," Louis tells him gently.

Niall looks up in surprise.

"Really?"

Louis nods.

"Of course. We've always said we're just a couple of lads who got an amazing opportunity. Even after doing this for years, we're not used to everything that's become a part of our lives," Louis explains.

Niall bites his lip, unsure of what to say in response.

"You're gonna do great, babe. I'll be here for you every step of the way, and so will Liam and Harry. So don't worry about anything, okay, love?" Louis says warmly.

Niall lifts his head up from his arms and leans into Louis, just taking in his warmth.

Yeah, maybe everything will be okay.

~

When they arrive at their private waiting room at the airport, the first thing Harry does is leer at Niall and grin, which immediately makes Niall wary.

"Finally did it, didn't you?" Harry asks, waggling his eyebrows ridiculously, making it obvious what 'it' is.

Niall flushes and hides his burning face in Louis' neck as Louis' arm comes to wrap around his waist.

"Come on, Hazza, be nice. Don't tease our little Irish lad like that," Liam scolds Harry, even if Niall can tell he's faintly amused as well when the younger lad risks a look.

"Looks like it was pretty rough if you're wearing your brace, too," Harry comments, ignoring Liam.

Niall whines and pushes himself further into Louis' side.

"Not like I meant to," Louis replies, and when Niall peeks up, he sees the older man is frowning. "I'd never hurt Niall intentionally."

Niall pulls away from Louis to frown at him in return.

"You know I loved it," Niall tells him quietly. "I would have told you if it hurt too much. Besides, me knee's only a bit sore. It's no worse than if I'd been carrying something heavy for a while."

"I still should have been more considerate," Louis insists, lowering his voice in turn. "I shouldn't have had you on your knees for so long. It was irresponsible of me."

"Are we really having an arguement about the best sex of me life?" Niall asks incredulously. "Seriously, Lou. I'm fine."

Louis stares back, obviously unsure, before he sighs.

"Fine. Next time, though, you won't be on your knees at all, you hear me? I'm gonna take care of you properly," Louis promises, before he lowers his voice even further, so that only Niall has the chance to hear him. "You'll let Daddy take care of you, right?"

Niall bites his lower lip, feeling his face heat up a bit as he nods.

"Of course, Daddy. You always take such good care of me," Niall whispers.

"Good," Louis replies, pecking Niall on the lips. "Now, how about a cuddle before our flight gets here?"

Niall agrees easily and settles down on the comfortable sofa in their private lounge to wait for their call.

~

Backstage is an absolute nightmare.

There's stage techs running around, and Harry's changing again while Louis' getting his makeup retouched because he fucked it up when he got into a water fight with Harry earlier, and Liam's getting his hair quiffed, and Niall's going to be sick.

Niall doesn't know why he thought this was a good idea. There's too many people around, and the walls are closing in, and he's sweating through his nice clothes, and he's- He can't breathe. He's having a panic attack in this tiny, single-service toilet he locked himself in.

Niall's breath comes in short, stuttering gasps as his head spins and his stomach wrenches in nausea. Niall crawls over to the toilet, just to be safe, and he's glad he did when he immediately throws up. All he can hear is the sound of his own racing heart, his retching noises, and the few gasps of air he can get in around them.

When Niall's emptied his stomach, he lays his overheated forehead on the cool porcelain of the toilet seat and tries to steady his breathing, but it feels like it's pointless. There are black spots dancing in his vision, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Niall knows he's about to pass out.

"Niall?" comes a voice, knocking on the locked door. "Are you in there?"

"Louis," Niall whimpers.

"Babe? What's wrong?" Louis asks, sounding concerned as he jiggles the doorknob. "Let me in!"

Niall crawls over to the door, sure that he'll pass out if he tries to stand, and unlocks the door, making sure he's out of the way of the door. Louis doesn't waste a moment in swinging the door open and falling to his knees beside Niall, gathering the younger man into his arms.

"What's wrong, love? Why are you so worked up?" Louis asks quietly.

Niall wraps his arms around Louis, breathing in the scent of hair product, makeup, and his cologne.

"I don't- This is a bad idea," Niall gasps out, sniffling. "'M gonna mess up, and they're gonna hate me."

"What? Love, no! Don't say that! Remember what I always tell you? You belong in One Direction. If any of the fans can't accept that, I don't want them! How can you say you like a band if you don't like all of the members? That's fucking bullshit!" Louis tells him, rubbing his thumbs across Niall's cheeks, and it's only then that the faux blond realizes he's crying.

"But-But what if I mess up?" Niall asks, staring at Louis.

"So what? We mess up all the time. Not all of those lyric changes are for fun, love. Sometimes, we genuinely forget them. We even forget the melodies sometimes, which is why we experiment with changing them so often. You just have to push through and make it seem natural. It doesn't matter if you mess up, babe. We'll back you up. These shows are supposed to be fun, you know?" Louis replies, and somehow, Niall feels a lot better.

"Promise?" Niall asks, just to be sure.

"Promise," Louis tells him sincerely. "All three of us have your back, always. You'll get used to it, more or less, after a while. Just try to relax and have fun. We don't take these shows too seriously, so you shouldn't either. I'm here for you, love."

Niall sniffles again and nods.

"Okay," Niall murmurs. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, let's get you cleaned up and have Lou fix you up, yeah? We're due on stage in ten minutes," Louis reminds him, helping the younger man stand.

"Think she'll be mad at me for ruining me makeup?" Niall asks.

Louis just laughs.

~

Their first show is amazing, and so is their second and third and sixth and fifteeth. All of their shows have been amazing, in Niall's opinion.

The fans have been overwhelmingly supportive, and they always scream pretty loud when they play one of the songs Niall wrote. It's a better response than Niall could have ever hoped for.

They have a short break now, as it's half-way through their tour, and it's just for five days, but Niall and Louis are flying back to the UK to spend the weekend with Louis' family. Niall's nervous, since he's only ever talked to the Tomlinsons on Skype, and he's never met them in person, even though he and Louis have been dating for close to six months now, and have known each other for nine months. They just never got around to it, with how busy they've been, but now seems like as good a time as any.

"They're gonna love you, babe," Louis tells him, glancing over at him when they reach a stop sign. He'd called for a rental car to meet them at the airport when they arrived so that they had transportation for the weekend.

"I already know that, but I'm still nervous," Niall replies.

"Why? Me mum loves you, all me siblings love you, and Dan's quite fond of you as well. Literally nothing can happen for them to hate you."

Niall bites his lip, unsure of how exactly to explain how he feels.

"I don't know how to explain it, Lou. I know they all like me, but I still have this anxiety in me chest about it. I just want to make a good first impression, I guess. Want them to think I'm worthy of their son and brother, you know?" Niall says, his accent becoming a bit thicker with nerves.

Louis looks over at him with a frown when they come to a traffic light, a frustrated expression on his face.

"I wish I knew what to do to help you, love. I know they'll love you just as much as I do, but I know just saying that isn't going to change how you're feeling." Louis pauses as the traffic light turns green and starts moving again down the road. Once he reaches a point where he doesn't have to concentrate so much on driving, he continues. "I just hate feeling so helpless."

Niall considers joking about the fact that of course Louis hates feeling helpless, that he has a Daddy kink, after all, but decides against it. Now's not the time or place.

"'S okay, Lou. Just having you there with me will help," Niall tells him, wanting to grab Louis' hand and squeeze it in reassurance, but he currently has both hands on the steering wheel, like he always does when he's not fiddling with one of the levers or the gear shift.

Instead, Niall settles for leaning over the center console and pecking the older man on the cheek, feeling his rough facial hair rub slightly against his lips and general mouth area. Louis glances at Niall from the corner of his eye and smiles at him genuinely, even if it's a bit small with worry.

Niall could take on the world with Louis by his side.

~

Contrary to what Niall expected, the visit went well. Extremely so, even.

Jay had been lovely, an absolute doll, inviting Niall in with a big, long hug, smelling faintly of vanilla and jasmine and baby powder. Louis had hovered a bit all day, watching Niall as if to make sure he didn't have a panic attack, which the faux blond appreciated, even if it wasn't strictly necessary. By the end of that first night, Jay and him were fast friends. Niall hadn't missed the look of pride and happiness in Louis' sleepy eyes when he'd joined the older man in his childhood bed and told him quietly that he loves Louis' mum.

All of Louis' siblings had been lovely as well. Lottie takes after her brother in the quip department, always ready with a snappy response that had Niall in stitches more times than he could count. Fizzy is a bit sweeter and softer than Lottie, though by no means would she back down from an arguement or debate, Niall found. Daisy and Phoebe are adorable and energetic like most kids their age, and had been constantly asking Niall if they could paint his nails and do his makeup, which he'd agreed to, if only because he has a weakness to children and can't say no to them. Ernest and Doris are still young, haven't grasped their words yet, but Niall had brought soft, plush toys for them, and they seemed to love them. They always seemed to be holding them whenever Niall had seen them.

Dan and he got on nicely, as well. He'd been absent that first day, as he'd been gone on a business trip, but when he'd come back, he'd wrangled Niall into a discussion on footie, which Niall wasn't going to complain about. They bonded over it, and Niall had babbled on and on about Derby while Louis watched him fondly, holding his hand beside him on the sofa.

So, over all, it went much better than Niall had even hoped for.

"God, Lou, can I keep them?" Niall mumbles into Louis' chest from where they're cuddled up in their room, having decided to spend a couple of days back home before they go back on tour.

"You can keep them for as long as you want, love," Louis replies, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he runs his fingers lightly down Niall's spine.

Niall shivers and arches his body closer to Louis, feeling himself start to chub up in his pants, embarrassingly quick. While at Louis' mum's house, they'd not had time for more than a quick wank in the shower, a blow job if they were exceptionally lucky, and it had been stressful. Now that they're alone, truly alone, for the first time in months, Niall can't help but bite his lip as he looks up at Louis.

Louis' already looking down at him, and when he seems to register the look on Niall's face, whatever that may be, his fingers pause in their idle movements before sliding down to Niall's bum, dipping under the loose joggers he's wearing to grasp him through his boxers. Niall's torn between pushing forward to grind against Louis and pushing backward to get more of Louis' hand on his bum.

"Yeah?" Louis murmurs.

Niall just nods helplessly.

"Please."

Louis' tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"You want to ride me, baby? Can your knee take it?" Louis asks.

"Yeah, please, Daddy," Niall says breathlessly.

Louis groans and rolls them over so that Niall is trapped underneath the older man, quickening the faux blond's breathing in arousal rather than panic. Louis brings him into a heated kiss as he grinds their hips together, moving in slow figure eights.

They don't always play like this. They don't always have time for more than a quickie. But it's always just as good as the first time every time they can play.

"Fuck, babe, your mouth," Louis moans out, rubbing his scruff against the line of Niall's jaw lightly.

"Please, Daddy. Wanna feel you," Niall begs, his hips jerking up.

"Be patient, love," Louis chastises, pulling away to look at Niall. "We finally have time to play, and I'm going to spend hours taking you apart before I let you ride me."

A long, high noise escapes Niall's throat at that, his hips jerking against Louis'.

"Please. Want it," Niall begs.

"I'll give you what you need, baby. Just let Daddy take care of you."

~

By the time Niall and Louis meet back up with Harry and Liam in America, somewhere on the west coast, Niall has a vast assortment of love bites that he's sure Lou is going to scold him for and Harry is going to tease him mercilessly for. Louis at least seems quite proud of how dark and how many love bites he's made on Niall's pale skin, often brushing his fingers against them and pressing down on them idly. Niall, himself, is rather pleased with them. They make him feel like he belongs to Louis, in every sense of the word, and that makes him feel safe and loved.

When they land in America, though, it's not to Lou's scoldings or Harry's teasing remarks. It's to paparazzi shouting questions about the man from Mullingar who recently stepped up and gave an exposé on Niall.

Niall's confused, because he's not quite sure what they're talking about, but when he and Louis arrive at their hotel, he finally gets a chance to boot up his laptop and search what the hell is going on.

He immediately wishes he didn't.

Once he's read through several versions of the same article, Niall closes the laptop screen as calmly as he can, so as not to alert Louis that anything is wrong, and stands from the bed.

"Alright?" Louis asks, looking up from his phone.

"Yeah. I- Yeah. I'm going to take a shower. You can go ahead and go to bed if you want," Niall mumbles, trying his best to keep his tone even.

"We just showered this morning, babe. Is something wrong?" Louis asks, sounding concerned and puzzled in equal parts.

"Everything is fine. Just want a shower, 's all," Niall replies, moving towards the bathroom slowly.

Niall doesn't give Louis a chance to respond as he immediately shuts the bathroom door behind him and turns the shower on, removing his clothes as an after thought. He doesn't even wait for the water to warm before he steps into the freezing spray, flinching for a moment at the cold before he relaxes into it. He washes his hair with the provided shampoo and conditioner mechanically before he washes his body, the water having turned scalding at this point, but Niall's past the point of feeling anything.

Once he's clean, Niall just stands there in the shower, staring at the wall. He doesn't know how much time passes before he realizes he's curled up on the floor of the shower, the water having gone cold again. He's not sure what made him stir until he hears a knock.

"Ni? Everything okay? You've been in there a while," Louis calls over the water pounding down on and around Niall.

Niall can't even find the words to answer, so he stays silent, staring at the water droplets as they slip down the glass shower door.

Suddenly, the door slides open and Louis appears.

"Fuck, what- Niall, what's wrong, baby? What happened? Speak to me, love, please!" Louis says, but Niall can't. He can't.

He just stares up at Louis blankly, water splashing into his eyes, and that seems to send Louis into a panic.

"Niall? Baby? What's wrong? Tell me what I can do to help. Please!" Louis half-shouts, which finally gets a reaction from Niall.

"Please! No more! Don't hurt me, please! Please, not again! Please, Damian, let me go!" Niall whimpers, feeling tears prick his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the slick tiled floor of the shower.

All motion above Niall halts. At least, that's what it sounds like. Niall's eyes are clenched shut in fear, and he's not about to open them any time soon.

The water turns off, and for the first time, Niall fully understands who he's talking to when Louis speaks again.

"Babe, who's Damian?" Louis asks, sounding fearful.

Niall peeks up an eye to see Louis staring down at him, looking as scared as he sounded.

"Lou," Niall chokes out, feeling his hot tears spill down his frozen cheeks, leaving burning trails.

"I'm here, babe. Talk to me. What do you need?" Louis says softly, reaching forward hesitantly to push back Niall's bangs that are plastered to his forehead. "Jesus! You're freezing!"

"I- Will you hold me and- and sing to me?" Niall asks, feeling his lower lip wobble from trying to hold back the tears, ignoring Louis' last sentence.

"Of course, baby. Let's get you to the bed, yeah?" Louis murmurs, sliding one hand under Niall's knees and one hand under Niall's back, picking him up and cradling him in his arms like an overgrown baby with minimal strain, but it's exactly what Niall needs right now.

Louis walks them back to the bed and gently lays Niall down like he's made of glass before climbing in beside him and fitting his arms around the shivering, wet, naked man. Louis grabs the end blanket at the foot of the bed with his toes and pulls it up so he can wrap it around them both to alleviate Niall's shivering.

Louis then sings soft lullabies to Niall, like he requested. They've done this once before, when Niall'd had a severe panic attack after being mobbed and his claustrophobia had kicked into over drive, and the only way to calm him down was Louis singing to him and holding him.

By the time Niall's breathing normally again and his tears have dried up, it's ten in the evening.

"Babe?" Louis whispers.

Niall hums in response, feeling lethargic.

"Can we talk about this?" Louis asks uncertainly.

Niall stiffens in Louis' arms, reminded just what caused him to spiral, before he looks up at Louis hesitantly.

"I don't- I've never talked about it before," Niall admits, biting his lower lip.

"We don't have to talk if it makes you uncomfortable or panicky, but just know that I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what, okay?" Louis murmurs, rubbing his fingers through Niall's tangled hair.

The faux blond continues worrying his lip for a moment before he comes to a decision.

"You remember how when we landed, the paparazzi were asking me about that man from Mullingar?" Niall begins, wanting to look away from Louis in shame from what he's about to tell the older man, but he forces himself to keep his gaze firmly locked with Louis'.

"Yeah, I do." After a moment, Louis adds, "Were they talking about Damian?"

Niall's breath catches in his throat at the name, but he forces himself to swallow and breathe through it.

"Yeah," Niall confirms, his mouth suddenly dry. "I- I have a bit of history with him."

"Not good history, I'm guessing," Louis mutters grimly.

"No, not good history," Niall agrees. "Very bad history, even. It all started after I was sent home from The X Factor. There was a boy I was friends with named Damian. He was- He was twenty-four at the time. I guess you could say he was a man, but he was always nice to me."

Louis looks a bit apprehensive, his face drawn like he can already see more or less where this is going, and it's not good. Niall continues.

"He was my neighbor. I'd known him since I was a kid, and he would watch me sometimes when me parents went out and Greg was busy or gone or moved out. He was- I really liked him. Sort of like another older brother, I guess."

Niall takes a moment to breathe and prepare himself for the next bit. That would be the hardest.

"When I turned seventeen, Damian asked me if I wanted to go on a trip with him to the cabin he had out in the country. Like a lads camping trip, only without the tents. My parents didn't have a problem with it. We went on Spring Break, planned to spend the full nine days together. It was the worst nine days of me life."

Louis' arms tighten around Niall.

"He didn't...," Louis whispers in horror.

Niall finally turns away.

"When we got there, it was getting dark, so we broke out the alcohol. Damian gave me enough beer and hard liquor to make me pass out, and when I woke up, I was tied to the bed, naked." Niall hears Louis make a soft noise, but doesn't look back up.

"He- He told me that he was angry I'd left him. He told me that I shouldn't have tried out for The X Factor, and that I was his. He- He told me that I had to be punished for trying to abandon him. He- Oh, God, Lou, he- he raped me."

Niall feels Louis' body go rigid at that, and Niall has tears streaming down his face again.

"I don't kn-know how many ti-imes he r-raped me, but- But I know it hurt a lot. He- Damian once cau-caught me trying to escape when- when he'd gone out and he kicked me. He dis-dislocated me knee and didn't re-re-set it until after he'd ra-raped me again. After that, he- he would dislocate me kn-knee if I did something he didn't- didn't like, and he'd leave it that way for longer and lon-longer. It was- It was awful! I wanted to die!" Niall sobs.

Louis seems to finally snap out of whatever daze he was in while listening to Niall and rubs his hand down the Irish man's back to soothe him.

"Did you report him?" Louis asks, his voice sounding strangely hoarse.

Niall looks up and sees that Louis is crying, too, and that's- that's not right. Niall's never seen Louis cry, ever. His eyes watery? Sure. But Niall's never seen tears spill down Louis' face before, and now he's crying because of Niall.

"N-No. He told me that if I told anyone, he'd- he'd hurt me again," Niall whispers.

"Oh, babe," Louis whispers back, wiping Niall's cheeks softly.

"It's- It's okay. I- I'm happy now. I'm a part of me favorite band in the world and I have an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends and- And I wouldn't change that for anything in the world," Niall tells him, giving the older man a genuine, if wobbly, smile.

Louis presses their lips together gently for a moment before he pulls away with a tiny smile of his own.

"I love you," Louis murmurs.

"I love you, too, Louis," Niall returns.

"I'm going to nail this bastard to the wall for you. He's going to go away for life, I promise you," Louis vows, a hard look in his eyes that Niall's unfamiliar with.

Niall bites his lip.

"Lou, it's fine. I don't care any more. He can't hurt me anymore, not with all of our security and my big, strong boyfriend," Niall tells him, before he grows more serious. "It would be a lot of effort to charge him, and the whole world would know, Lou. I don't want the world to know all that. Besides, I- he can't shame me any more than he already has, not without revealing what happened. If he did, he'd get caught, because I was a minor when it happened."

Louis frowns at him unhappily before he sighs in defeat.

"I'm not happy," Louis tells him. "But I won't do anything you don't want me to. I just really wish I could do something for you, babe."

"I know, Lou. I know. I'd let you if there was a way to keep it quiet, but those things are public record. I thought about it when I moved to London, did all kinds of research, but by that point, it had been too long to hope for anything. Just... Just try to forget it, okay? We'll- We'll call Simon in the morning to see if there's anything he can do, yeah?" Niall tells him.

"Yeah, okay. I haven't read what this shithead has said about you, but I'm sure it'll make me want to spend life in prison happily," Louis mutters, glowering at something over Niall's shoulder.

Niall frowns and brings his hands up to hold Louis' scruffy cheeks.

"I'll be okay. We'll be okay. Just hold me tonight, and we'll figure all this out in the morning, okay?" Niall murmurs, seeing the irony of the situation. He's having to comfort Louis after a painful reminder from Niall's past showed up unexpectedly. Irony at its finest.

Louis takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly through his nose.

"Yeah, okay. Love you," Louis whispers.

"I love you, too."

~

Turns out, Simon's just as furious as Louis was.

"We have The Mirror on payroll, as well as The New York Times, and they still printed this shit," Simon rants, sounding like he's pacing. "I ought to have them cut off for this!"

Niall blinks over at Louis, who's seated across from him on the bed, listening to Simon lose his cool.

"I- Is there anything we can do, sir? Get them to stop talking about it, or put out a statement or something?" Niall asks, when it sounds like Simon is pausing for breath.

"We'll fix this, Niall, I assure you. I will personally do it, if I have to. I'll call back when I have it figured out. Be expecting a call in another hour or so," Simon replies, sounding a bit calmer than before.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," Niall tells him, before the call ends.

"Well, I guess that's that," Louis says, sounding a bit shell-shocked.

"I guess so," Niall returns, sharing the sentiment.

"I've never heard him so worked up before, even when Zayn started saying all that shit about finally making real music," Louis tells him.

"Really?" Niall asks, surprised. "Why do you think that is?"

"Probably half in love with you, too, love," Louis replies, grinning over at Niall.

Niall just rolls his eyes and tackles Louis into the mattress, being careful not to knee him in his bits. He'll need those later.

When Niall's finally settled on top of Louis, he's straddling the older man's waist, his bum resting against his pelvis.

"We have at least an hour until Simon calls back. What should we do, I wonder?" Niall muses, going so far as to tap his chin with one finger like a cliché twat.

Louis' hands come up to grasp at Niall's hips, rubbing small circles into his exposed hip bones.

"I have a few ideas," Louis replies, looking up at him with mischievous eyes.

"Oh, yeah?" Niall goads. "Like what?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe I could call me mum and you could read your fanfiction?" Louis suggests.

"Lou!" Niall gasps in embarrassment.

"Kidding, love. I'm going to make sure the only name you can remember is mine," Louis promises hotly as he rolls them over so he's between Niall's spread legs, hovering over him.

And he holds true to that promise, making Niall come twice with Louis' name on his lips.

~

When Simon calls back, it's with better-than-bad news.

"You'll have to give an interview addressing the matter, Niall. I don't know your exact relation to this man, but I've gathered enough from Louis' hatred for him to know it's not a good one. I've set up an interview with Nick Grimshaw to make this all a bit easier on you," Simon tells him, sounding a bit apologetic.

Niall feels cold at having to come clean, but he just answers, "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," in a slightly flat tone that had Louis looking at him worriedly.

"I know you just got back to the States, but you're going to have to fly back to London after tonight's show to have your interview. You can bring Louis along, if that'll make you feel better. I'm sorry, Niall," Simon says, before he ends the call.

After a few moments of Niall just staring at the phone, Louis speaks up.

"What did he say?" Louis asks.

"I have an interview with Nick tomorrow morning to clear everything up," Niall mumbles. "After tonight's show, I have to catch a plane. He said you can come with me if you want."

"Of course I want to, baby. I'm not gonna let you do this alone," Louis hurries to say. "Hey, look at me. Ni, look at me, babe." When Niall does, Louis continues. "Everything's gonna be okay. I'll be by your side the whole time. I promise."

Niall bites his lower lip and nods hesitantly.

"Love you," Niall whispers.

"Love you, too. Always," Louis promises.

~

Niall feels dead on his feet when he comes in to BBC Radio 1 for the interview with Nick the next morning, Louis right by his side. He didn't get to sleep on the plane until an hour before they landed, and Niall's sure it hurt more than it helped.

Louis, perfect boyfriend that he is, got Niall a coffee without a single complaint, even though he swears up and down that it's just dirty water that should not be consumed. Niall had thanked him with a chaste peck on the cheek, not caring about the wide-eyed Starbucks cashier staring at them through the drive-through window. He's too tired and stressed out to care about anything other than his coffee, his boyfriend, and his upcoming interview about his rapist of an ex-neighbor.

Now, about a half hour later, Niall feels a bit more awake and clear-headed. Louis' doing his best to keep him calm, but there's only so much the older man can do.

"Niall! Hey, how are you holding up?" Nick asks as he welcomes them into the sound room. "I heard this is your second flight in two days."

"Yeah. It's pretty shit, if I'm honest, but you have to do what you have to do," Niall grumbles.

Nick opens his mouth to say something before he pauses, seeming unsure for a moment.

"What?" Niall asks.

"I- This is about that man from your hometown, right? How come- How come I've never heard about him?" Nick asks hesitantly.

Niall closes his eyes and digs the palms of his hands into them.

"It's because he hurt me when I was younger, and I wanted to forget about him," Niall replies lowly.

"Hurt you? Wait, isn't he seven or eight years older than you? How did he hurt you?" Nick asks, sounding a bit panicked and angry and horrified already.

Niall looks up with a grim smile.

"Take a guess, mate. I was seventeen."

"Oh, god, Niall...," Nick whispers.

Niall shrugs helplessly.

"Can't change the past," Niall tells him with a sad smile.

"Didn't you- You moved to London when you turned eighteen, didn't you? How long was it going on?" Nick whispers, looking faintly sick.

"It only happened a few times. Me parents didn't go out much, and I only left the house for work or school. Never got me license, so I always needed a ride everywhere," Niall replies. "If I had to go through that any more than I did, 'm not sure I'd be here."

Niall gives another sad smile and shrugs.

"Oh, babe," Louis whispers, tightening his grip on Niall's hand.

"I'll be okay. After this, I never want to talk about him ever again," Niall says.

Louis gives him a sad, pained smile as he kisses Niall's hand, still entwined with his own.

"I love you, baby," Louis murmurs.

"I love you, too," Niall replies, giving the older man a small, wobbly smile.

~

When they're finally given the cue to start The Breakfast Show, Niall takes a deep breath and squeezes Louis' hand tight, the man having refused to leave Niall's side when a sound tech tried to make him leave.

After Nick's intro, and the few minutes he takes to talk about other things, like the weather and the traffic and other news in the media, he finally introduces Niall.

"Now, The Breakfast Show has a very special guest this morning. He's our favorite Irish lad from One Direction, Niall Horan! Say hello, Niall."

"Hey. Good morning, everyone," Niall says into the microphone.

Louis makes an indignant noise and Nick rolls his eyes.

"Right, right. This Louis Tomlinson bloke is here, too. Say hello, dickwad," Nick teases.

"Love you, too, Nicholas," Louis snorts. "Morning, everybody. Hope you're having a better morning than us."

"And why would you be having a bad morning?" Nick asks, even though he knows why.

"Niall and I just got back to London an hour and a half ago after flying out to California the day before yesterday. We'll have to fly back right after this to make it to our next show in time, too," Louis explains easily.

"Oh? Sounds rough. Why would you come all the way back to London so soon?" Nick asks.

"That would be for Niall to answer, I think. Anything I say will get graphic and bleeped out for seconds at a time, so I'll leave that to him," Louis jokes, though Niall knows he's serious from the way his smile turns sharp and his hold on Niall's hand gets a bit tighter.

"Right. Always did have a mouth on you. Now, care to explain, Niall?"

Niall takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he answers.

"Yeah, right. So, there was an article about me recently from a man called Damian, and I'd like to clear some things up," Niall starts, voice shaking slightly.

"Oh, right, I remember reading that. I don't think anyone believes a word of it," Nick says. "Who could, with a face like yours?"

Niall laughs uneasily and bites his lip.

"So, what would you like to start with?"

After a moment of thought, Niall answers, "Well, the bit about me defacing private property was entirely false. I got into trouble a lot in school for not paying attention, but I never got in trouble with the law."

"Hmm, head in the clouds, babe?" Louis teases.

Niall smiles a small but firm and genuine smile.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Niall agrees.

"What else?" Nick prompts.

"Well, the bit about coming onto him when I joined One Direction is wrong. We knew each other when I was younger, but I have quite happily not seen him since I moved to London," Niall replies. After a pause, Niall adds, "I also never came onto him before I left for London. Wouldn't have been legal, now would it?"

If that comes out a bit sharp and pointed, what's Niall supposed to do about it?

"Right," Nick replies, with the same pointed tone. "Anything else?"

After a moment, Niall answers.

"Yeah. The bit about me being a slag is false. I've only ever slept with five people in me life, and I was in long term commited relationships with the last four," Niall says.

"Oh? What about the first?" Nick asks, his voice confident, but his face uncertain.

"Oh, he knows who he is," Niall spits out. "If I ever see him again, me b- certain people wouldn't let him leave without a firm reminder to never even glance in me direction."

Niall had stumbled, almost mentioned Louis, but he thinks he caught himself in time to not give himself away.

"Your b-? Your boyfriend?" Nick asks, perking up.

Niall glances at Louis, who mouthes at him, 'Want to do it?'

After a moment of thought, Niall nods with a brighter smile than he's had in days.

"And who might that be?" Nick continues, catching the exchange.

"That'd be me," Louis answers. "If I ever see the bastard so much as look at me boy, I'll give him what's coming to him."

Niall beams over at Louis, squeezing his hand in relief to finally be out and happiness that his boyfriend loves him enough to risk a battery charge against the man who stole his virginity in the worst way.

~

When Niall and Louis land back in California that evening, they don't have time for much else than preparing for their show. They get a few congratulations from the crew when they have a spare moment, and Harry and Liam pull them into a cuddle session for as long as they can hide from Lou, who gives her own congratulations after scolding the four men.

By the time they go up on stage, Niall's running off of caffeine and happiness and love and excitement. He's absolutely exhausted, since he never sleeps well on planes, but he's still riding the high of finally being out in his relationship with Louis. Niall's not sure how the fanbase is taking it, but he's not too worried about it right now. He's too exhausted to care about more than giving the fans the show they paid for and deserve.

It's about halfway through their set, having a bit of a chat between songs, when Niall sees it.

'Thank you for coming out, Nouis!'

After that, Niall sees signs everywhere.

'Shouldn't have let you meet me mum'  
'Me favorite Irish band mate'  
'Niall, don't forget where you belong: Louis' arms'

It's the last one that makes Niall burst into happy tears, and Louis, ever the vigilant boyfriend, is by his side in a moment.

"What's wrong, babe? What's got you all weepy?" Louis asks, not even bothering to take the microphone away from near their mouths.

"'M just happy, Lou," Niall babbles through his tears. "Love you so much."

"Love you, too, babe," Louis murmurs, bringing the crying lad into a hug right there on stage, because they're allowed to do that now.

The screams, which had been steadily growing louder the longer their interaction went on, are almost deafening when Niall leans in to give Louis a peck on the lips before he turns to address the band as a whole.

"If it's okay, I'd like to request a song, lads," Niall tells them, wiping the tears from his face.

"And what song is that, Nialler?" Liam asks, throwing his arm around Harry's waist. The faux blond has a feeling it's not going to be long until they come out as well.

"Could we sing my song? The first song I ever sang for you lads?"

Harry nods immediately, and after a moment, so does Liam. Niall turns to Louis with pleading eyes, and Louis laughs.

"Can't resist such a cute face. Wouldn't have said no, anyways," Louis says fondly, bopping Niall on the nose lightly before he turns to the band. "Cue up the first song, Niall's song, yeah?"

After a few murmurs, the band seems to all be on the same page, so Louis leads Niall over to where his guitar sits in its stand by the stairs, and Liam and Harry follow behind, all of them sitting in a row on the stairs as Niall check his tuning. Once he's done, Niall looks up at the crowd.

"This is a song that's quite special to me, and I want everyone to know that I'll never forget where I belong."

Niall looks back and nods to the band. There's a countdown on the drumsticks and then Niall starts playing and Liam sings the opening line.

"Been a lot of places..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope this was a bit easier to read. Again, if I missed any of Niall's accent, please let me know. I'll admit, I only went through it once, since I've read this story through at least five or six times already, and that was before it was even posted. Needless to say, I'm a bit tired ofrom reading it at this point. That's also why it's late. It was supposed to be out almost a week ago, but it got postponed due to issues in my personal life, my sleeping schedule, and my general lack of interest in reading through this thoroughly. Regardless, I gave my word that I would do this, so I pushed through. Sorry this is so late.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how was it? I hope it was enjoyable. Was Niall three-dimensional? Were his reactions natural? I always struggle with writing a character so different than me, and Niall is quite a bit different, so I hope I did well enough to be passable, at least.
> 
> Please feel free to share your thoughts, what you liked or disliked, or even if you found any errors. Thank you for reading this fic and giving it a chance!


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